Interviews With Dating Gurus by David Deangelo

:LEARN HOW TO DOUBLE YOUR DATING TODAY

David Deangelo of Double Your Dating interviewed Joseph Matthews of Approaching Women in his famous Interviews With Dating Gurus series in December of 2006.  Joseph Matthews is a famous dating guru in his own right, much like David Deangelo, and getting these two masterminds of approaching women together has revealed some inspired insight into the fears of a man, attraction, and the steps of approaching women from the “inner game” to the consummation of the pick up.

 

Approximately eight years ago, Joseph Matthews life was in the toilet.  He was not successful with women or dating, singles bars were not yielding any hits and even the personals were getting him nowhere.  He needed to seriously re-vamp his life, and the by-product of that intense re-structuring is the Art of Approaching Women.

 

According to Joseph Matthews, the base skill-set in successful dating is being able to approach and meet women.  If you cannot approach women successfully, you can’t get anywhere else with them!  David Deangelo of Double Your Dating certainly agrees, and encourages Joseph Matthews to reveal his secrets to the interview series subscribers.

 

Matthews reveals that most women will form an opinion of you within only sixty seconds of meeting you.  Approaching women is the hardest part of the dating game, and is also the most feared of the steps of getting a girlfriend or date.  David Deangelo asks Matthews what some of his thoughts are about inner game and to give us some dating tips to boost a man’s confidence and success in approaching women.

 

Joseph Matthews names personal physical appearance as the single biggest fear that men have when approaching women.  Most men feel that faults they find in their own appearance (such as weight, height, hair, clothes, etc) will be seen by the opposite sex as being as horrible to them as they are to the man.  However, this is not the case.  Remember the old saying, “You are your own worst critic”?  Its true.  These flaws in your physical appearance that are unable to look past more than likely will not even be noticed by a woman you want to approach.

 

The fact is - women and men are attracted to people in totally opposite ways.  Men are attracted to women because of physical appearance.  On the contrary, women are not attracted to men initially because of looks.  Women are not as visually oriented as men are, and women will be attracted to a man who makes them feel good over a man who is classically “good looking” any day.  So the moral of the story is, you don’t actually know what a woman is attracted to physically, so remember that YOU may be hung up on your looks, but SHE is not.  The way you make a woman feel inside by being a strong (advocating attraction), confident man is much more valuable than your outer appearance.

 

The next obstacle that Matthews points out are “attraction” hindrances.  Again, these go back to our perceived faults.  Matthews says, and David Deangelo agrees, you either need to change these things, or learn to deal with them.  In other words, quit your complaining.  If you don’t like it, change it, if you can’t change it, deal with it.

 

One great example of this is a man who is deaf.  A deaf man can wallow in the fact that he is deaf, or he can decide to work around it by using other ways to communicate, such as instant messaging, text messages, letter writing, lip reading and body language.  David Deangelo points out that most men try to hide these “faults” because of ego, but getting innovative and working around these problems will inevitably boost your success, confidence and ability to deal with any situation that you happen upon.  In other words, necessity is the mother of invention, and you need to figure out what is more important - getting women, or hiding behind your contrived excuse.

 

Another point that Joseph Matthews recommends is knowing what you want in a girl and knowing the warning signs to look for that indicate you need to run far away from a woman.  A great dating tip - women who have been sexually abused, women who don’t like kids or animals, women who have a bad relationship with their dad - all these factors can mean an emotionally unstable woman.  Look for these things in a woman depending on what you want in a relationship.

 

This all comes down to attraction, though.  One of the core features of all of David Deangelo’s Double Your Dating programs is attraction - everything is built on creating attraction, holding attraction and growing relationships based on the factors of primal attraction.  Your main goal, therefore, should be to get rid of your own insecurities and thereby build your own personal attractive qualities, such as self-assurance, masculinity and self-reliance.  Become the kind of man who is self-sustaining and independent of other people.

 

Taking the lead in the mating dance is another key point in approaching and dating women.  Men who let the woman take the lead are viewed by women as wussies and of lesser status than they are.  I am not advocating being domineering and an ass- but this means that you must be the dominant one in the relationship, you initiate, you lead and she WILL follow.

 

On the actual approach if women, Joseph Matthews goes into what he calls his “Sniper Approach” with David Deangelo.  Opposite of the “Shotgun Approach”, which involves a sheer numbers game where you approach as many women as possible because the more you approach, the more likely you are to find at least one girl who will go out with you.  The Sniper Approach, however, really involves pre-screening women so that you can pick your targets well and go after them in a targeted way.  He discusses this in depth in his eBook, by the way.  One quick tip is to develop a good repertoire with a woman, and another method is reading body language.

 

Shyness is another common excuse that men have that prevents them from having success with women.  Fear or anxiety about approaching women develops because you think of every possible negative outcome when you start to flirt.  So instead of seeing a girl and setting the outcome to “I want to sleep with her”, set the outcome to be “I am going to approach her and get her opinion on this”.  Then set the next outcome to talk to her for 10 minutes.  And so on and so forth.  In other words, set yourself up for success with women!

 

In the Art of Approaching Women, Matthews says he shares with guys how to come up with their own great pick up lines, as well.  One of Joseph’s favorite pick up lines is called an “opinion opener”.  What he does is he goes up to a woman and says, “Excuse me, I don’t mean to bother you, but I would really like a female perspective on this.  Who do you think lies more, men, or women?”  This is a great way to start a conversation with women, to engage and intrigue her.

 

Another great pick up line Matthews uses is ”What does a gay cow eat? Haaayyyy” (says in a gay voice).  Or “Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?  Because it was dead.”  Just use stupid, funny little jokes that are not sexual in nature.  Use jokes to engage her, intrigue her and make her laugh.  Then - walk away!

 

So where do you go to use these pick up lines )there are more in the eBook). Great places to meet women are places like whole foods stores, Barnes and Nobles, Starbucks, Bath and Body Works - any place that women congregate!  Many health food places will have attractive women drawn to them because they are concerned about their health and their looks.  Even places like the park or the gym!

 

There is SO much more information that Joseph Matthews has to impart to all his faithful fans, and it is SO cool of David Deangelo to interview this guy for us.  Be sure to check out the Art of Approaching and get Matthew’s free newsletter at least!  You can also check out David Deangelo’s interview with Payton Kane if you want more dating tips from another famous Interviews With Dating Gurus Star!