Style

Approaching Women

If ever there were two of the greatest minds in dating together in the same room, it was the day that David Deangelo interviewed Style, or Neil Strauss - author of The Game. Style was living life as a writer and investigative journalist for Rolling Stone, when a book editor called him with an idea for an interesting story…

She had discovered a document that was supposedly the work of a secret underground community of “pick up artists”… who met together to talk shop and trade seduction techniques. Neil Strauss was intrigued, and he started to dig... but little did he know that what he would discover would soon change his life forever…

Through his career in journalism, Style got to hang with major celebrities and rock stars, but always assumed that THEY were the ones who would get the hot women… not HIM.

These days, times are different. Here are a few of the tips and strategies my friend used to go from ZERO success with women, to a guy that some rock stars have actually asked for advice.

Prepare Before You Play

Style prepares himself for a night out on the town the same way that he prepares to do an interview for a magazine… The first thing he does is write down EVERYTHING… what he wants to talk about to the women he meets… the attitude he wants to have… and even the way he wants to kiss her when things are going well.

He’ll also throw in a few “Snapple fun facts”… or other silly conversation starters he can use when he’s at a loss for words. Things like, “Did you know that the average woman consumes 7 pounds of lipstick in her lifetime?” or “Do you think toilet paper rolls should have the paper coming down the front, or the back along the wall?”

He puts it all down on a “cheat sheet”… studies it… then tucks it away in his pocket… just in case. He usually doesn’t have to pull it out… but having it with him gives him the confidence he needs to go out and meet more women… and THAT’S what it’s all about.

Stick With The PROVEN 4-Step Structure

It’s a good idea to have some sort of game plan when you are interacting with a woman so you can keep things moving forward… and Style has an AWESOME one that I suggest you steal immediately… Here are the 4 basic steps (In a moment we’ll take a closer look at each one):

1. Open - Simply a matter of crossing the line from seeing a woman to actually talking to her .

2. Demonstrate Value – An attractive woman will meet many guys when she is out... and it’s CRUCIAL to demonstrate something that distinguishes you from rest.

3. Build An Emotional Connection – In stage 3, it’s time to go from entertaining her to really CONNECTING with her on an emotional level.

4. Physical connection – If you spend too much time connecting with her emotionally without pushing things forward physically, you will be heading straight for “The Friend

Zone.”

Now, let’s dive into these a little deeper…

Approach The Entire Group

As you know, beautiful women are rarely found alone. Here are 3 of Style’s KILLER tips for approaching groups of people:

Tip #1: Use A “Time Constraint”

When you approach a group of girls, usually at least ONE of them will immediately begin trying to figure out ways to blow you off… even if your approach is a good one!

Rather than fight an uphill battle, use what my friend calls a “Time Constraint”…

Simply say something like, “I can only stay for a minute because I’ve got to get back to my friends,” or “I’ve gotta get out of here in a second, but…”. Say this near the beginning or at the very beginning of your approach.

This puts them at ease… because they think you’ll be gone soon… and also gives you just enough time to win everyone in the group over.

Tip #2: Approach With Energy

When you approach a group of people, make sure your energy level is equal to or slightly higher than theirs. Nobody wants to talk to someone who is going to bring them

down… so don’t do it!

Tip #3: Keep Everyone Warm

If there is more than one person in the group, you want to make sure that everyone in the group gets attention and stays engaged… or someone WILL become your enemy. When you open a group of people, usually it is because there is one particular woman in the group that you are attracted to.

Style’s rule is NOT to hit on her until she’s attracted to you first. Start by chatting with her friends… This gives you a chance to demonstrate your personality… and to become a challenge for her by teasing her and using Cocky and Funny humor to blow her off.

This will REALLY blow her mind… as she’s accustomed to being the one out of her group that gets the attention… and here you are blowing her off. Nice.

Demonstrate Your Higher Value

The best way to demonstrate that you have higher value than other men is to simply show her a better time than she was having before you showed up… and a better time than she has had with anyone else. Or as Style puts it, “learn to be more interesting than the average person.”

To do that he has a bunch of stories and games that he calls IVDs or “Interactive Value Demonstrations” (and yes, he deserves to be made fun of for naming them so…) Most of his “IVDs” are simple interesting things that teach people things about themselves.

One he uses often is called the “Best Friend’s Test”. He’ll address both women at once, and tell them he is going to give them the “Best Friend’s Test”… He’ll then ask them something irrelevant, like “What kind of shampoo do you two use?” Then he watches and waits… 9 times out of 10 the two women will look at each other before they answer.

Then he simply says, “Ok… the answer to the question actually doesn’t even matter. You can tell when girls are best friends because they will always look at each other before they answer a question!” Then, of course… they both look at each other and crack up

laughing…

This is great because its fun… it makes them feel good about their friendship… and you’re not “hitting on” anyone. Another one of Style’s best routines is to teach a woman about “Eye Accessing Cues.”

There is no way I could explain this as well as he does… so make sure you listen to the CD again… and take some notes. And don’t just limit yourself to these 2 routines… anything along these lines… such as palm reading, handwriting analysis, or any interactive game that reveals something interesting to a woman about herself is a surefire way to generate ATTRACTION.

Build An Emotional Connection

Once you have demonstrated that you are a unique and interesting individual, it’s time to build an emotional connection…

One of Style’s favorite moves to start this off is something he calls the “Instant Date”… simply taking her---with or without her friends---from the place where you first met to another venue… or even just another spot inside the club. This is one of my favorite moves as well… as it has an almost magical effect. Once the two of you are in a new location, it will feel like you are now there “together”… and BAM… you’ve gone from being strangers to becoming friends.

Another technique Style uses to build an emotional connection with a woman fast is his “Eliciting Values” routine. This is a fun and easy way to find out what someone is REALLY looking for in life… and you can do it by simply asking 3 questions:

Question 1: What is the most important thing you need to have in life to make it feel worthwhile?

Question 2: If you have “X” (her answer to Question 1), what does it allow you to do?

Question 3: If you got to that point and you were able to have “Y” (the things she mentioned when she answered Question 2) how would you feel inside? What’s the emotion you feel?

This emotion is called her CORE VALUE… and it’s what she’s really after in life.

To finish up the routine, point out the fact that while she was thinking about it, there was a little pause when she was figuring out what it was… and at that moment, she was actually FEELING IT. She’ll usually agree… and then you can say, “Cool, we just fulfilled your purpose in life in 3 minutes. You can die now.”

Nice.

This routine allows you to get on a deep level with someone very quickly, and learn a lot about them in the process. I suggest you try it out.

Get Physical

As a former tenant of “The Friend Zone”… “getting physical” was the hardest piece of the puzzle for Style to figure out. The two scariest points of learning this stuff for most men are the initial approach and the first kiss—because those are the two places where it’s easiest to get rejected. We’ve already covered the approach, so let’s talk about the kiss…

First of all, Style recommends that you get her comfortable with more casual touching (like holding hands) before planting one on her. Otherwise it can seem very sudden… and I doubt you want to get slapped…

Here’s another rule to follow:

When you hit that point when you’re thinking—should I be kissing her now? It usually means: YES. Also… pay close attention to her body language and her eyes. Is she looking at your mouth… or holding eye contact longer than usual? Or does she squeeze your hand back when you squeeze hers?

Also… of course… use the “Kiss Test” that I share with you on the first page of my site.

If you gently stroke the hair from the side of her face and along her neck, and she seems to be enjoying it—it’s time to make something happen. Style has yet another killer routine for this that I’m sure is VERY effective…

He begins by telling her that she smells good and smelling her from shoulder to ear… then pulls her hair at the back of her neck and asks her if it feels good. If she says, “yes”, he gives her a gentle bite on the inside of the elbow… then a nibble on the neck… working his way up to the inevitable kiss…

Style admits that it’s more work than is probably necessary most of the time, but it’s a good idea to have something reliable to fall back on for those tough situations.

Let’s wrap this up…

It’s a fact that the guys who are the best with women are the ones that are always trying new things, working to improve. Guys who are afraid to try something new usually fail.

So get off your ass and try some of this stuff out!

Remember: Do what you’ve always done, and you’ll get what you’ve always gotten.

One of Style’s biggest epiphanies about his own challenges with women was this:

“Its not bad genes, it’s BAD HABITS.”

Change them!

I’ll talk to you again soon.

Your Friend,

David Deangelo