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Several years ago I knew a woman who had a very real
problem. She couldn't get past the second or third date with a guy without him
showing up for the fourth date with a ring. Essentially, every single guy she
agreed to go on a date with-pretty much without exception-fell in love, fell
hard, and knew very quickly that he'd be foolish to let this woman go. So this
was a rare woman indeed. And guys sensed it. They all WANTED to marry her. No
"freedom loss" or "cutting their nuts off". They DESIRED a committed
relationship with this woman...and FAST.
She was beautiful, talented, fun to be around, earned a multiple six-figure
income, and was of impeccable character. She seemed 21 though her chronological
age was 35. And she was also humble and utterly blind to social pretense. In her
mind, all she was ever doing on dates was being her smiling, affable self.
But begrudgingly, she knew she had to do what she had to do. So she did what I
refer to as "Charm Throttling". Seriously, she began to ratchet back the "shock
and awe" of her overall sharpness a few notches when she started dating a guy.
Now, by no means did she change who she was at her core. Not at all. Rather, she
simply held a few of the more impressive cards in her deck in reserve for a
while.
When you find yourself face to face with a woman of fantastically exceptional
quality, you may very well find that she behaves toward you in a similar manner.
So "heads up", there.
But I have a better reason for bringing all this up. And that is that I fully
expect YOU to have to learn this lesson for yourself in the very near future,
because it's not exactly a gender specific one. You may even need to figure it
out RIGHT NOW, yet you don't even realize it yet.
Here's the deal. Granted, the vast majority of guys out there will spend their
entire lives begging for a date with even mediocre women. Of the minority that
remain, most will be thrilled to end up with a great woman...ANY great woman.
But just like the woman I just told you about was a rare, exquisite gem amongst
a sea of women who wonder why their boyfriends (if any) hang around for years
without marrying them, you have the ability to be an AMAZING MAN who stops even
the sharpest women dead in their tracks.
Women actively COMPETE to WIN guys like that. And you guessed it: Those are the
guys who have TOTAL CONTROL over their dating lives.
I know what you're saying. "Scot, that's got to be fewer than 1% of all guys."
Granted. But also remember that over 99% of all guys are too bullheaded to ask
for directions. And even when guys DO ask for directions when getting better
with women, they end up learning how to "pickup" strippers or something.
So simply by being here, I'd say your odds are pretty good. By even THINKING
about the goal of attracting and building relationships with the world's
sharpest women, you could be in the top 1% of that 1%. And no...that's not an
overstatement.
I can count on one hand the number of men I have known in my social circle who
intentionalized great success with women as such. But I know multi-millionaires,
professional athletes, charismatic personalities and even really nice guys who
"settled".
So once again I'm going to appeal to your sense of ambition and greatness. I
want you to BELIEVE you are capable AND ready to attract the highest quality
women on Earth. And when you start putting into practice the "Big Four" I'm so
fond of harping on (confidence, ability to inspire confidence, character and
masculinity) you will indeed start seeing phenomenal occurrences on first and
second dates. Some would call it supernatural, even.
As a man you LEAD. And women are naturally hard-wired to FOLLOW that LEAD. So
the magnitude of the effect you cast upon any woman who agrees to go out on a
date with you could in fact be EXPONENTIALLY greater than any amount of charm my
female friend was able to enrapture guys with.
Remember, if a woman is out on a date with you, she already found you
attractive. AND...you've got to bear in mind that who you are at your INNER CORE
is what really grabs a woman by the heartstrings. So WHO YOU ARE on those first
few dates is going to MAKE OR BREAK THAT.
What happens if you are "Mr. Nice Guy", desperate, a "kiss up", a weak decision
maker, a lousy kisser (if able to pull the trigger at all), boring and/or
downright creepy? Your stock plummets, that's what. And don't ask how many
decent looking, athletic, "GQ" looking dudes I know who have women smile at them
all the time...but can't EVER move things to the second date.
But when you are a "Big Four" man, you certainly enjoy a near 100% probability
that first dates will naturally turn into second dates and third dates,
etc...for as long as you care to extend things. We've talked before about how to
give a WOMAN the "JBF Talk. Get used to that.
But here's something you're also going to have to think about. Is it really fair
to bring your "big guns" on a first date and charm a woman literally into
submission? I think some of us build up our skills with women then fine-tune
them to a point where we literally don't know the power of our presence. This is
a stage of development toward mastery with women that I've never, ever heard any
other dating or seduction teacher talk about. Perhaps because it's the "final
frontier" of sorts. Could it be that the crowning achievement of being excellent
with women is understanding the concept of "Charm Throttling"?
No matter what your answer to that question is, one thing's for sure: WITHOUT
IT, you are not a "master" just yet. Why? Because a "Big Four" man who unleashes
the full power of his presence is bringing a bazooka to a knife fight every time
he shows up for a date with a woman. Make that a NUCLEAR WEAPON. Sure, your goal
is to knock a woman's socks off. So you have your style and grooming down and
you respect women even as you lead effectively.
But what happens when you can pull that off while making a woman laugh, AND
while making her feel like a REAL WOMAN in your presence...all the while
inspiring that warm-fuzzy "safe" feeling whenever she is around you? Well, then
you have a BIG PROBLEM, pardner. That's when you're going to have EVERY WOMAN
you go on a first date with FALLING IN LOVE with you...FAST.
Face it, and take it like a man. If you represent the "Big Four", you represent
what WOMEN WANT. And almost ZERO PERCENT of all guys can get that right. Notice
I haven't even mentioned good looks, a great education, a heavy-duty bank
account or...God forbid...musical talent just yet.
Whatever you pile on to the "Big Four" is just fuel for the fire here. You
can-and will-enthrall women like a "one percenter" on the "Big Four" alone.
So what's a guy at the zenith of masculine attractiveness supposed to do? Well,
like my female friend did on her dates...you've got to RATCHET IT BACK. If you
find women are starting to SERIOUSLY try to lock you down FAST, let that be a
CLEAR sign. It's a sign that you have become ATTRACTIVE to even the sharpest
women. Moreover, it's a blatant indicator that you have COMPLETE CONTROL over
your dating life. And that means, of course, that you just can't drive that
Ferrari with the pedal to the metal all the time. REALIZE that your charm will
ensnare women. And back off.
Be JUST A BIT colder. JUST A BIT more reserved. HOLD BACK on the truly
impressive answers you could give to her basic questions. If you feel her
falling fast, DO NOT give her that ridiculous "sky is falling" kiss that will
melt her in to a pool of mush. It's just NOT FAIR to do that. Once a woman feels
comfortable in your presence and her femininity has been ignited, she will want
to give herself to you sexually. And once that happens under these
circumstances, she's likely got wedding bells chiming in her head. You know
about "for whom the bell tolls", right? Welcome to how even the sharpest of the
sharp guys out there end up "settling". If the woman you're dealing with happens
to have a strong personality and can "game" you like none other, plan on the
Mother Of All Guilt Trips aimed squarely at keeping you roped in.
What's the ultimate solution here? You've GOT to keep some if not MOST of your
natural, masculine charm in reserve, and hold it for the woman you WANT to fall
in love with you. Otherwise, you're flat-out not going to be able to date
multiple women effectively. Having to JBF them all after two dates because they
"fell in love with you" already is decidedly NOT effective.
Remember, YOU are in charge. This means YOU should be able to manage your
relationships well enough to be able to evaluate the long-term potential of the
women in your life on YOUR terms.
Importantly, can you see the difference between "Charm Throttling" and being
someone you're not? We're not talking about artificially becoming some sort of
jerk, or feigning a type of weakness so as to give women pause. Not at all.
Those are ridiculous ideas. Rather, this is about RESERVE. This is about opening
the window of who you are JUST A BIT at a time for her. You remain AUTHENTIC and
CONGRUENT to your true, ridiculously sharp self. But you have some respect for
the women you are just meeting.
Now look, if you meet a woman and she can clearly handle the full impact of who
you are without letting you steal her heart in two dates, then you've likely met
your match there. That woman is NOT who I'm writing to you about today. That
said, don't be fooled by "cool girls" who seem oblivious on the outside. They
can fall just as hard underneath that witty, tough-talking exterior. Most of the
time, you're going to have to take the wisdom that comes from recognizing your
power as a "Big Four" man on first dates and exercise caution...and
RESERVE...when you first meet women.
Can you handle that? Perhaps the better question is, "Can you BELIEVE that
handling that is even an ISSUE at this time?"
Do you refuse to "settle" and choose to deserve what you want instead? If so,
you'll enjoy Scot McKay's refreshing approach to dating and seduction, yours to
discover at: http://www.relationship-advice.us
Stop by right now and Scot will personally send you a FREE 8-part mini-course
($47 value) when you sign up for the X & Y Communications Newsletter, which is
always packed with unique and practical dating tips.
Click Here
(By the way, this is what that page will look like)
And I'll talk to you again soon.
Be Good,
Scot McKay
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Dating tips for Men by David Deangelo and Others
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