First dates make or break a potential new relationship. With so much on the line, obviously most of us come into them a bit nervous. It doesn’t have to be such a stressful experience though. It is hard to talk yourself into relaxing but you will probably feel a lot more at ease if you start off with a game plan. Try to keep these three basic ideas in mind so that you can get through your first date with ease.
Remember That It Isn’t a Test
You aren’t at a job interview. This is not a test of your manners. She isn’t writing down all of your life’s accomplishments as you list them. It just a first date so try to relax. Try to just simply treat her as a friend that you are getting to know. You shouldn’t be coming on too strong in a romantic sense so it is all around better to just treat her as a person that you are trying to get to know. Be as laid back as you can be. Don’t talk about work. Don’t quiz her. Once you get comfortable, tease her (gently!) about something. Tell her that she’s flirting with you.
The most important thing is that you stop acting like you are trying to sell yourself. Keep in mind that this is also an opportunity for you to decide if you like her. It is most definitely not all about you getting her to like you. Focus more on getting to know her. If you are feeling anxious, start asking her questions and let her take over the conversation.
Don’t Check In With Her
Confidence is always critical. No matter how nervous you are, try to at least fake some degree of confidence. Never ask her how she thinks the date is going. Don’t ask her if she likes you. More importantly, never assume that she doesn’t like you and start talking yourself down to her. Be casual. It’s not very likely that you would go out with a friend and ask him if he was having a good time. You should be much better at reading people than that so just trust your instincts. If she looks miserable, try to change something. If she looks like she is having a good time, just assume that she is enjoying herself.
Pay Attention to Your Body Language
It is often said that your body language is more important than what you actually say and there is definitely some truth to it. Body language is especially important in dating because she is going to be paying close attention to you, whether it is consciously or unconsciously. Make a serious effort to maintain positive body language. Be sure that you are maintaining eye contact while you are talking to each- and don’t forget to blink! There’s a difference between coming across as attentive and just plain crazy. Pay attention to her body language as well and try to mirror her every so often so that she feels at ease. If none of this feels natural, pay attention to your body language next time that you are around friends so you can get comfortable being aware of it.