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"What it feels like for a girl using online personals"
No, I haven't been cross-dressing, and no. I'm not going to talk about a Madonna
song. What I'm talking about is to imagine what it feels like to be a girl on an
online personals site.
Let's face it, attractive women are what drive online personals. They get you to
signup, to create a profile, and to email them. Now take any popular online
personals site, and any decent looking woman on there is probably BOMBARDED with
a blizzard of emails. (If you've done the recon profile experiment I teach, I'm
sure you know exactly what I'm talking about.)
Unfortunately, most of the messages she gets are from men who just don't fit
what she's looking for. I'm talking about guys who are either outside her local
area, guys who come off VERY CREEPY, and guys who have verbal diarrhea.
LET'S TURN THE TABLES FOR A SECOND...
Imagine What it feel like to be a girl on an online personals site
How about I turn the tables for a second. Picture this:
Suppose you were getting HUNDREDS of emails EVERY day...
... From women who live in Russia.
... From women who have 9 kids.
... And from women who looked like they weighed 450 pounds (on a good day.)
AFTER A FEW DAYS OF THIS, WHAT WOULD YOU DO? Do you think you MIGHT be a little
frustrated?
Do you think you would wonder if these women actually READ your profile?
Do you think you would start deleting them?
Sure.
And on some days, when you're not in the mood to deal with this, you start MASS
DELETING emails. One after another... Good, bad, it makes no difference.
This is a typical situation most women find themselves in the moment they post
their online personals ad.
Is there any wonder why YOUR email never got responded to?
LET ME SAVE YOU THE TIME, HERE'S WHY SHE DIDN'T REPLY.
1.) Maybe she's already met 3 guys who beat you to the punch, and wants to see
how things pan out. Early bird gets the worm.
2.) Maybe she read your email, but your photos and profile were missing a few
CRITICAL things, and she didn't reply. (hint: it's much more than just a photo)
3.) Maybe she has specific criteria for what she's looking for, (some women when
getting a large volume of emails get EVEN MORE selective with whom they reply
to.)
SO, WHAT ARE YOU DOING WRONG?
If you think you should compliment her, and tell her all the reasons why she
should reply, you're actually conveying all the reasons why she SHOULDN'T. When
you compliment a woman you give her higher value, Higher value than you, and
what happens is you are in effect looking up to her. Knowing this now, is there
any wonder she didn't write back? The next time you're thinking of complimenting
a woman and when you tell her how hot she is, consider this:
Compliments = ZERO Challenge
Challenge = Confidence
Confidence = Interest
You'd never walk up to a woman in a bar and tell her she's hot, seems nice and
you want to buy her a drink, would you?
No.
So why on earth would you write a first email which conveys the same thing?
GIVE WOMEN A CHALLENGE
Women tell me all the time they're dying for a guy to stand up and be DIFFERENT.
Here's some tips to help you:
1) K.I.S.S.
Keep it simple. People are busy these days and the last thing someone wants to
read is a 5-page email containing everything about you.
2) BE DIFFERENT
After getting HUNDREDS of emails, don't you think she can spot something thats
been sent over and over. Once you understand what she's dealing with, its easier
to send her something different than every other guy.
3) Compliments = Needy.
If you're emailing women complimenting them, you're probably coming off the
OPPOSITE as you think you are. When you compliment a woman via email, (something
every OTHER guy does) you're conveying that you're a NEEDY guy.
4) LOOK FOR CLUES
Dig through her profile to find that one thing you find interesting about her,
and let her know about it.
5) DO THE OPPOSITE
Try this experiment for a week. Try sending women the OPPOSITE of what you think
you should send. Don't worry about the end result. You might be surprised with
the results. If you think she's got a killer figure, mention something about her
weight. If you were laughing after reading her profile, mention something about
her profile being kind of boring.
6) CTA - Does it contain a STRONG call to action?
If you don't hear back from women you email, you can't take it personally, it's
the nature of the internet. ... And thats why you should ALWAYS follow up with
another specific "Follow up" email if you didn't hear back from a woman you've
already emailed.
I cover this technique in detail (along with a specific template you can use) in
the Insider Internet Dating program.
Yes, there are specific things to improve your odds, but If you are worried
about women not responding it almost becomes a self fulfilling prophesy and as a
result you end up CONVEYING to you don't have a lot of options. Start focusing
on the women who DO reply to you.
SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT ...
Suppose you were speaking to 5 women this week, had 2 dates this week, and were
seeing 2 women. Do you think you'd be concerned about a woman not replying to
your email? Nope... I didn't think so.
By the way, if you haven't had a chance to try the Insider Internet Dating
program yet, take advantage of my 45-day trial so you can see for yourself how
EASY it is to meet women online.
http://www.insiderinternetdating.com/for-a-girl.html
Heck, I'll even give you some extra free gifts just for trying it out. And if
for some reason you still want to go back to your old destructive and expensive
ways, you can still keep the gift. My treat.
... Or you can 'wing it' on guesswork and hope for the best... but I hope you
take my advice instead. :-)
Your friend,
Dave M.
Author, Insider Internet
Dating
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