If it seems like you keep running into the same obstacles in every relationship, that might mean that you keep making the same mistakes. Choosing a partner is an important decision and it requires some real thought.
If you keep choosing the same type of person for the same sorts of reasons, you are likely to keep running into the same issues. To find a compatible partner and have a solid relationship, you need to really think about what it is that you are looking for and what you need from a partner.
Get To Know Yourself Better
In order to find the right partner, you need to have a good understanding of yourself. If you don’t know yourself well, how will you ever know who is a good match for you? If you have been in a string of unsuccessful relationships, maybe it is time for you to take a break. Spend some time getting to know yourself better and think about what is truly important to you so you can spot the same qualities in another person. Think about your basic values and what will be important to you in the future.
Stop Being Superficial
Sure, an attractive exterior is enticing but it isn’t enough. Get to know a person before you really decide if you are interested. If you are just choosing partners based on their appearance, it is nothing more than a game of odds. Looks will fade with time and the novelty will wear away so you to find someone who intellectually attractive to you. You can’t judge your compatibility with someone based on looks alone.
Don’t Attach Yourself to Your Opposite
We often look for partners with characteristics that we are lacking. If you are shy, a person who is the life of the party can seem incredibly attractive. If you lack ambition, you will inevitably be interested in someone who is very driven. While it is healthy to have some difference, you shouldn’t take the idea to the extreme. You and your partner should have more similarities than differences.
While you should find a person who you admire, keep in mind that no matter how many positive traits your partner has, it won’t make up for the ones that you are lacking. It’s important to learn and grow with your partner but be careful that you aren’t just basking in their limelight.
Fix Your Own Problems
Your partner should be there for you for companionship and nothing more. You need to solve your own problems, not spend your time looking for someone else to fix them for you. Their promises may just turn up empty or you might overwhelm with your issues.
The old adage that you must love yourself before you can love someone else is very true. It is also true that you must be able to stand on your own two feet before you can stand with someone else. Look for someone who you can learn from but also be prepared to have something to offer as well.
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