One of the biggest fear that men have in dating is the fear of the CONVERSATION. Where do you go to learn how to have a conversation? Or how to start a conversation? What do I say to a girl when I meet her? What do we talk about? What happens if….gasp…there is SILENCE? I know, I hear the horror movie music playing in the background too.
Here are some great dating and conversation tips to remember when having that ever awkward “first conversation” with a girl you are attracted to from none other than Alpha Man Carlos Xuma
First of all, relax. Think of conversation as building rapport with a woman, getting to connect with her on a level deeper than simple physical awareness. Easier said than done, I know, but the fact is that if you are uncomfortable or uptight, you are not going to be able to be involved in a naturally evolving conversation. Keep in mind that the girl you are approaching is going to be nervous too, especially if she is attracted to you as well. So get comfortable, and create an out for yourself if you need to (remember this, that is a great piece of dating advice called the time constraint). Tell her you only have a few minutes and set a timer on your phone. If the conversation is as dead as your great grandmother’s tulips, then you have a great excuse to jet in about 5 minutes. If the conversation is great, then you can tell the girl that your timer can wait.
Next – Carlos Xuma tells us to make a list of things to chat about beforehand! Before you venture out to a bar or club, sit down for a few minutes and put together a list of “conversation starter” material. What keeps conversations going? Not questions like “What do you do for a living”. YAWN!!! Try open ended questions and conversation topics that she is not going to hear every day. This will do several things – it will spark her attraction and interest in you, and like an 18 letter word in a scrabble game, open the conversation up to many possibilities the further you go. Here are some examples:
· Do you think men or women lie more?
· If you were stranded on a deserted island and could have one of the following, what would you have? A pen and paper, a radio or a monkey? Why?
· What animal would you be if you could be an animal?
· Who is a person you admire and why?
· Who is someone you despise and why?
The conversation, though, is basically the clothing for the real animal beneath – attraction. The conversation has got to be interesting to both parties. Keep her on her toes, bust her balls and use Cocky Comedy with her. Maintain eye contact with your date or potential date, use casual and light touches on her arm or hand to keep building the attraction as the night goes on.
Later!
Carlos Xuma