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Sean Newman from PickUp101

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Secrets of Meeting Women Anywhere

 

Sean Newman from PickUp 101

David Deangelo had the pleasure of interviewing a guy who specializes in taking men out in the field and teaching them how to approach REAL LIVE women. You may have heard the killer interview I did with Lance from PickUp 101 a little while ago.  This month I’m interviewing one of Lance’s TOP trainers.  His name is Sean Newman.  He shared some amazing techniques for getting over fear, meeting women in common places like malls and Laundromats, a simple opening line that’ll work on almost ANY woman you will ever approach.  Sean Newman also shared a way to use your body language that’s GUARANTEED to make a woman feel comfortable and open when you talk to her for the first time.

What I liked best about this particular interview is how SPECIFIC Sean was in describing his strategies…  He lays out everything step by step, so that ANY guy can follow his 1-2-3 process and start meeting more women IMMEDIATELY.

Here are just a few of the secrets he shared…

Why Women Secretly Want You To Date A LOT Of Different Women

Have you ever thought about the kind of guy that an attractive, in-demand kind of woman wants to be with?  It may surprise you that when asked about a guy’s dating history…  MOST of the really attractive, intelligent, powerful women out there, who are ready to settle down with a guy, will all say something like, “I want a guy who has gone through that phase where he’s dated a lot of women, and has gotten to the point where he knows what he wants in a woman.”

What you DON’T hear these women saying is “I want a guy who has never been able to get a date to save his life.  I want a guy who’s a complete wuss who I can control.”  There’s a bit of a “paradox” here, because women don’t want a guy to go out and date a lot of other women… obviously.  But, they want a guy who ALREADY has.

Sean put this idea a little differently.  He says that a woman doesn’t WANT a guy to go out and date a lot of women, but she NEEDS a guy to go out and date a lot of women.

Why?  Because even women know that it’s only through seeing what’s out there that a man can really decide for himself what kind of woman he wants to spend his time with. In other words,  different women gives you PERSPECTIVE.  It’s hard to have this perspective when you’re whole dating life only consists of several long-term serious relationships, but never the experience of dating a LOT of different women.  Don’t get me wrong – I think relationships are GREAT.  But to be ready for a relationship, I believe you need to have experience with a few different women FIRST. The more experience you have, the more you’ll UNDERSTAND women… and what they need to feel ATTRACTION.

And when you understand a woman like this, in a way that other people don’t… and you understand her even more than SHE understands HERSELF… she’ll see you as the exactly the kind of guy she’s dreamed of meeting her whole life. THAT is when you’ll ROCK HER WORLD.

Use Your Body To Release Your Fear

One of the most interesting ideas Sean shared was his advice on getting over the FEAR of approaching a woman.  While it’s true that fear is what I call an “Inner Game” issue…

It’s also true that when we feel fear, we feel it not only in our HEADS… but in our BODIES.  This is why it can be so damn hard to THINK your way out of it.  Fortunately, because it’s IN your body, USING your body to get rid of it can be the most “direct” path to getting it out. Like Sean said in the interview, you can’t CONVINCE yourself not to be afraid by repeating to yourself, “I’m the coolest guy in the room…  I’m the coolest guy in the room.”

Your brain will recognize this as “B.S.” … and simply won’t be convinced.  The answer is to stop trying to THINK your way out of the fear, and use your BODY instead. One simple, but powerful way to do this is by LAUGHING.  Laughter is one way your body releases stress and nervous energy.  Your body can’t hold nervousness if you’re laughing.

Think about it: Try to remember a time when you were laughing and felt nervous at the same time.  I don’t mean the nervous laughter like when you’re on a date and a woman has just said something that you know should be funny, but you don’t get the joke… so you laugh even though you have no clue what she’s talking about.

I mean the kind of honest, deep down, no-holds-barred laughter, where you tear up and milk shoots out your nostrils like an erupting volcano. So watch Chris Rock right before the next time you go out to meet women… you’ll feel definitely feel more relaxed and “in the mood” to meet women. Sean also mentioned that listening to music you love and moving your body a little bit is another way to release nervousness.  So try putting on your headphones for a second next time you get ready to chat up with a sexy woman at Starbucks…  The simple fact is that if your body is in a state that’s not conducive to nervousness – if you’re relaxed, laughing, or rockin’ out to your favorite song – the nervousness will go away.  Releasing nervous energy like this is a PHYSICAL skill.  You have to practice it to learn it deep down in your body.

Oh, there’s one more way to get rid of nervousness that Sean shared that I just have to mention…  He calls this his “Starsky & Hutch Move.”  Next time you see a woman you’d like to meet walking in your direction, let her past right by you, wait 30 seconds or so… and then SPRINT after her (we’re talking run through traffic, push people out of the way, knock over the old lady on the sidewalk… it should look like a POLICE CHASE straight out of – you guessed it- that 70’s T.V. show Starsky & Hutch.) It may sound silly or outlandish, but by RUNNING you dissipate the nervous energy in your body. You take all anxiety and turn it into adrenaline to power your legs to sprint after her.  Your body does the work of releasing the stress for you.  By the time you reach her, you’ll have virtually NO nervousness left. A bit extreme?  Perhaps. But have fun with it and judge it by the results YOU get.

Make A Woman’s “Chance Meeting Fantasy” Come True

If you have a busy life, going out to clubs until the wee hours of the morning and trying to meet 19-year-olds may not be your thing.  Sean agrees… that’s why he focuses a lot of the work he does on teaching guys how to meet women during the DAY at normal everyday places.  As Sean says, the hottest spot isn’t some crazy club in the Mediterranean, Paris, or New York…  He says the best place in the world to find the most women is the shoe section of Macy’s on a Sunday afternoon… or a Starbuck’s in an area of town where a lot of attractive women live.  In other words, the best place to meet women is where they go during the course of their normal, day to day living. The fact is, not every woman out there goes out to clubs.  In fact, many of the SEXIEST women get tired of getting groped by drunken dumb asses… and quit going out to clubs AT ALL.

But EVERY attractive woman has to go out in the day-time and buy a pair of shoes… or get a café latte at Starbucks… or get bread and eggs at the grocery store… or go to the gym to stay looking so hot. So when you go out to these places, not only are there plenty of attractive women… but there’s also NO COMPETITION.  Let’s say you’re at the gym, and you see a cutie with headphones on. Do you think guys are hitting on her with those headphones on?  Probably not.

Sean says to walk up to her, point to her headphones, and when she takes them off say something playful like, “Oh my god you are so cute.  Alright, you have to leave the gym right now, because I can’t focus on my workout, and this distraction isn’t helping me at all.  If you want to be my personal trainer that’s another thing… maybe you can stand to the side and give me some incentive… but I’m gonna have to ask you to leave.”

She’ll crack up… because you’ve done something fun for her…and you’ve done something no other man will do – flirt with her in the DAY-TIME.  The other factor that makes this sort of thing so POWERFUL is that every woman wants to meet their “one true love” at an everyday, random place…  NOT at a bar or club.  In fact, if you meet a woman at a bar, she’ll usually make up a story of how the two of you meet randomly during the day. Women fantasize about meeting a guy through a romantic “chance meeting” so much that they’ll MAKE STUFF UP.

Women have been programmed to seek out these fantasies by all those “chick flicks” where men and women meet in highly improbable, yet romantic ways (think any movie with Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan).  When a woman meets a man in a way that’s similar to these fantasies, it feels more REAL to her… like it was SUPPOSED to happen… like FATE played a hand in it. She doesn’t get this feeling when she meets you after having too many shots at the local club.  Several years ago, I met a woman online who became my girlfriend for about a year and a half.  She was a stunningly attractive woman, and in fact went on to create a career around her looks. Well, how psyched do you think she was to tell her friends and family, “Yeah, I (a very attractive, successful, intelligent woman) was surfing for dudes on the Internet… and this is the one I got”?  Not so much.

She preferred saying that we met at a coffee shop or bookstore or some other “regular” spot.  My point here is that women are DYING to meet men at normal, everyday places.  It’s romantic to them… it’s a scene right out of their favorite movie. Don’t deny them this pleasure.  Make a woman’s fantasy come true by approaching her in the daytime.

Learn One Killer Opening Line or Pick Up Line

Walking up to a brand new woman, saying something, and making her smile – it’s a huge high.  But… most guys want it to be perfect, and they’re terrified they’ll screw things up and everyone will know that they failed.  So it seems EASIER to experience lost opportunities than take the chance of confirming the fact that you really have no idea what you’re doing when it comes to meeting women.  One thing Sean does to deal with this situation is rely on an approach he created that he uses in almost any situation with a woman… and he says it over and over and over again with a ton of the new women he meets.

He goes up to a woman and says something like, “Excuse me…  I don’t mean to interrupt you… but I had to tell you… you are unbelievably cute,” and then he’d wait for them to react.  They almost always smile because it’s genuine, sincere, and warm.  He may follow that up with something playful like, “Okay…this is the part where you tell me that I’m cute also…  I’m not sure if you’ve done this before, but this is called flirting.  I’ll take you step by step and I really think you’re going to enjoy this… you’re doing good so far…”  This is the kind of thing you can do every day of your life, in ANY situation with a woman.

You’re at Starbucks and there’s a cute girl in front of you in line.  Tap her on the shoulder, and tell her exactly what you’re thinking… if you think she’s cute, tell her you think she’s cute. Odds are she’ll like it because attractive woman RARELY get approached in such a direct and SINCERE way. If you have something to say in any situation with a woman, that will give you confidence.  And that confidence will help you relax, and give off that cool-calm-and-collected vibe to the women you meet.

Fearless First Impressions

Here’s a killer exercise Sean shared that you can use whenever you’re feeling nervous about approaching a woman. You already know that using your BODY is the most “direct path” to getting rid of nervousness, and the Approach Anxiety Destroyer is a great way to do this.

Here’s what Sean said to do: When you feel anxiety about talking to a woman, start

walking and say to yourself quietly, but out loud “Yeah” while you slowly nod your head up and down (like you do when you’re listening to music you enjoy.)  Keep repeating this to yourself in a slow loop (“yeah… yeah… yeah…”).  Then add 3 affirmations to the mix – “I feel like a freakin’ goofball… yeah… yeah…”  “Sean has no idea what the hell he’s talking about… yeah… yeah…”  “She’s going to think I’m functionally retarded… yeah… yeah… yeah…”

By the end of that, you’re smiling, enjoying yourself, and you’ve stated out loud your worst fears.  You take that loop going on in your brain, and you say it out loud and get it OUT.  And by getting those deep dark fears out, you’ll see that it doesn’t really matter and that it’s all just fun anyways so you might as well enjoy it.  That’s Sean’s way to DESTROY “Approach Anxiety.”  Try it for yourself.  Just make sure no one sees you!

Give Her “Psychological Space”

If you could step outside of yourself… and see yourself as you talked to a woman… what would you see? The obvious thing you’d notice right away is how much PHYSICALLY BIGGER you are than the woman you’re chatting up (most of the time). That size difference can be INTIMIDATING to a woman… especially if you’re “in her space” and facing her directly. Well, you guessed it, Sean has a solution.  When you walk up to a girl to talk to her, stand SIDE BY SIDE with her instead of standing directly in front of her.

When you do this, you give a woman “psychological space”, and it allows you to stand very close to her without making her uncomfortable. If you’re side by side with a girl, you can be inches away and she’ll still feel comfortable.  You can even touch her on the shoulder and she’ll like it… because you’re not intimidating her.

Try this side by side approach for yourself… you’ll be BLOWN AWAY by how much more open women are to your conversations.  I hope you enjoyed this interview with Sean as much as I did.  If I were you, I’d listen to it a couple of times, write down 3 of your favorite ideas, and put them into action IMMEDIATELY. Do it right now… before you get distracted by other stuff.

I’ll talk to you again soon.

Your Friend,

David D.

Accept YOUR Ability to have Success With Women

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Lately I’ve (Scot McKay) been starting to earn the reputation for being the dating coach who takes guys from “good with women” to “great with women”. Sure, David D. introduced me as that guy when I was on his interview series nearly two years ago, but these days it’s really starting to take hold.

In fact, just last Thursday I did an interview where the host said exactly the same thing when SHE introduced me to her audience. Yes, I said “she”.

And I’ll tell you, there’s nothing I love better than to hear success stories from guys who have raised the bar higher than they ever could have imagined previously… perhaps even higher than they thought possible even two or three months prior to getting in touch with us. You can see one such story on the blog right now.

So basically, I wake up every morning amazingly psyched to go to work. As some of you who have e-mailed me or talked to me or who are on Twitter already know, sometimes I don’t HAVE to “wake up” for work…I’m STILL up from YESTERDAY.

But here’s the painful part.

Some guys believe I’m full of it.

They refuse to believe (and I think “refuse” is the correct word here) that what I talk about around here is EVEN POSSIBLE…AT ALL, let alone for THEM.

I would be shocked and confused by this, except for one simple factor: Less than a decade ago I would have been RIGHT THERE WITH THEM.

I used to think that dating more than one woman at once was a ridiculous fantasy that was only possible in the movies.

I thought that women called all the shots, and men had to grovel for acceptance from them…only to usually get “rejected”.

And heck, after my divorce I even started thinking all women were “crazy” and just wanted to use guys.

It was only after doing a LOT of research and “field testing” that I started to see results that clearly indicated that what I heard about other guys succeeding with women was NO JOKE.

I have to tell you…THAT’S what compelled me to leave a perfectly good career as a regional sales manager for a trendy IT company to start this one.

It wasn’t to make hollow promises to desperate guys about how to “get laid quick”.

Sure, I understand how bad sexual frustration can feel. And I know how easy it would be to capitalize on helping guys who have experienced zero success with women cure the immense personal pain that goes along with that.

But you know what?

If getting a phone number equals “success”, and simply having sex is the goal, then there are HUNDREDS of places on the Internet that can hook you up.

But my vision for you is MUCH, MUCH greater than that.

Sure, I hope you are unwilling to “settle” for anything less than a wildly successful dating life where you call all the shots, make all the decisions, and manage relationships with women who absolutely adore you and would do ANYTHING for you…ultimately culminating in meeting and permanently attracting the GREATEST woman ever.

But before even hoping you are unwilling to “settle”, I hope you are even able to SEE IT’S POSSIBLE to be “great” instead of just “good” with women.

Consider this. Did you know that when I think of my “typical” reader, I picture an educated, athletic, and socially-talented guy with tons of potential? And I picture him FED UP with hanging out with women who don’t meet his standards.

That’s how I see YOU.

And guess what? Based on the vast majority of e-mail I get, I think I pretty much understand my audience.

So here’s my challenge to you: Do YOU believe in YOUR OWN SUCCESS as much as I DO?

Because it’s not just POSSIBLE. It’s WITHIN YOUR GRASP.

Emily is not a paid actress. (Yes, I’ve actually heard that assertion before).

And yes, things go as well for us in real life as they do on our Web sites.

And yes, there were other high quality women in my life before I met Emily.

And above all, NO…I’m not smoking crack. I REALLY think you can rise above simply “getting a girl…ANY girl” and seriously accomplish your ULTIMATE vision of success with women.

But the think is that some guys only have limited vision in that area.

Do you know what my biggest challenge with guys on my coaching program is?

You may shake your head, but it’s that they DISAPPEAR after four or six out of ten planned 1-on-1 calls with me.

They aren’t displeased. They don’t want their money back. They’re just OVERWHELMED.

They’re getting SOME success, and they’re THRILLED with it.

But what I have in mind for them is a more complete plan with an even happier ending. And I continually, it seems, have to remind guys of that and help them see the opportunity for greater success than THEY EVEN IMAGINE ahead.

It’s gotten to the point where I actually TELL GUYS about this phenomenon when they first get started on the program. They say it’ll never happen in their case, and it often still does.

Why?

Because ALMOST NO GUY ON EARTH ever actually achieves the kind of success we talk about around here. Therefore, it’s hard to imagine because almost everyone you’ve ever met can’t relate to it.

And the one or two guys you’ve known along the way who can? When you heard them talk about the women in their lives you probably thought they were…are you ready for this?…full of it.

Here’s the most mind-bending part of the story of all. Despite the fact that almost all guys live their entire lives without the success with women they would have liked to have had, it’s JUST NOT AS HARD AS YOU THINK to achieve it.

You may have suspected that all along, in fact. And I’ve just confirmed it for you.

It’s just that most of us are competitive creatures, and it’s easier for us to DISMISS rumors of success than to ACCEPT THE TRUTH and make it happen for ourselves.

Worse? Most of us are too proud to ask for directions.

Or…we figure out there’s no “quick fix” and it might take some effort.

So we, like most people in life, get lazy and stop right after we start.

Or we get too squeamish and give up too quickly.

How many times have you seen a guitar in the corner gathering dust? Welcome to exactly the concept I’m talking about.

Most of us would love to be rock stars, but are content to play a video game that simulates it instead.

Success with women? Most of us are content to watch porn instead of doing what it takes to meet a great woman.

And here it is: Porn stars aren’t even a fair simulation of what having a great woman is all about. And I think you know that already.

The valid truth about human nature is this. We all want THE PRIZE, but we don’t often want to exert any energy or effort to GET IT.

Consider the times where you’ve seen raffles or drawings featuring a cool prize for the winner. You want the prize. But as soon as you figure out you’ve got to fill out some sort of form to be eligible, you pass.

Similarly, you might like to win the Tour De France. But after about ten minutes on Lance Armstrong’s training program, you might decide otherwise.

The higher you aim, the higher the potential prize. And the higher the prize, the more effort is involved.

But like I just alluded to, success with women is one of the “prizes” in life that absolutely, positively brings the MOST REWARD for even a very REASONABLE AMOUNT of effort.

And guys STILL MISS THAT. They REFUSE to believe it.

Welcome to what keeps me up at night.

What’s it going to take to get YOU to believe you can SUPER-ACHIEVE with women?

Was this article enough?

Can you cut through your doubt and begin to BELIEVE that what you hear about elsewhere when it comes to AMAZING SUCCESS with women is true?

Can you accept a vision for YOURSELF that is as lofty as MINE is?

Can you look WAY past getting a phone number as a definition of “success”?

I trust you can. Because crazy or not, I BELIEVE you can achieve.

If I can, YOU CAN. All it really takes is a belief that you CAN understand women, that they CAN be high-quality human beings, and that they DO want a high-quality “big four” man like you in their lives as YOU want them in yours.

Be Good,

Scot McKay

 

David Deangelo Interviews Vin DiCarlo

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Kino Escalation and More

 

This month David Deangelo had the pleasure of interviewing a gentleman who goes by the name of Vin di Carlo.

Vin has an extensive background taking individuals and groups of men out in the field to interact with women, teaching them both the essential skills and – more importantly – the right MINDSETS needed to attract women and succeed in the world of dating.

In this interview, Vin shared some true gems… like how to keep your cool when another guy walks up to your woman… how to instantly start fun conversations with women you’ve just met… how to make a woman feel compelled to WIN YOU OVER.. and much more.

I’ve put together for you a summary of some of the great tips he shared… enjoy…

1. Why It’s So Important To Cultivate A “Warm Dominance”

Vin shared the idea that if you come from the right place – the right emotional state – it can have a PROFOUND impact on your ability to attract women. He talked about an attitude he calls “Warm Dominance,” and he describes it as having a calm, happy, yet assertive energy. Think of it as an unwavering emotional state – no matter what happens, you’re cool with it… and you remain calm.

Let’s say you’re talking to a woman… and another guy comes up and starts talking to her.

When this happens, the archaic, reptilian, instinctive part of men’s brains usually gets triggered… they view the other guy as a THREAT… and they get rattled and come unglued in a BIG way.

Worst of all, a woman can see exactly what’s happening when you lose your composure… and this isn’t exactly GREAT for making her WANT YOU.

When something like this happens, Vin suggests recognizing what’s going on and choosing to approach the situation in a different way…

If another guy comes up, don’t view as something BAD at all. Don’t think that you have to be wittier than this guy, or be cooler than him, or whatever. If you think this, you’ve already lost.

Instead, treat the situation like it’s going to benefit you. Actually have FUN with it. Just be laid back and flow with the situation. Start a relaxed, normal conversation with the guy.

When you do, you’ll demonstrate to the woman that you’re the not the kind of guy who’s easily thrown off course – but even if she doesn’t recognize this, at least you avoid her seeing you lose your composure and getting turned off…

And many times, that’s half the battle… or as one of Vin’s friends, his barber actually, said – “Success with women is easy. Just make less mistakes than the other guy.”

‘Nuff said.

2. Establish Your Credibility & Safety

These days, with more and more scams proliferating through more and more channels… including the Internet… women are more skeptical than ever about meeting men they don’t know.

It’s not that they’re not open to meeting new men – it’s just that their “safety detection systems” radars are on full-alert, looking for a million different clues that something isn’t quite safe.

Couple this with the fact that a woman has to trust that you are exactly who you say you are before she’ll be cool with things progressing… and you’ve got yourself a little challenge. The way to meet this challenge, as Vin puts it, is to learn how to quickly establish your CREDIBILITY with the women you meet.

One way to do this is remember to always reference your friends and families by their FIRST NAMES when you talk about them. So while you’re chatting with a woman and sharing stories, say “My brother KEVIN did this…” or “My friend MICHAEL did that…”

By including their names, you help her fill in the picture of who you are with vivid, specific details. Anybody can have a brother… but when you talk specifically about your brother KEVIN it helps her connect personally with what you’re talking about… and with YOU.

This helps her see you as a real, credible person in her eyes. She’ll feel safe around you… and she’ll seeing you as much more than just some “guy in a club” or “guy at a party” that she randomly met.

There are other ways to give a woman this feeling of safety… One is to simply introduce her to your friends and show her that you’re friends are just as cool as you are… hopefully…

Another is to respect her “psychological space”… let me explain…

Let’s say I’m having coffee with a woman I just met. We’ve been talking for an hour or two, and we head back to my place to hang out and relax. If she walks in and sits down on the couch, and I immediately sit down right next to her… almost touching her… that communicates one thing.

But I communicate a very different thing if she sits down on the couch… and I walk into the kitchen and ask if she wants some water… and then I’m sort of wandering around the house giving her plenty of space and time to get comfortable… and then finally I walk in the room and relax into a chair 5 feet away from her… and I’m not in any way trying to get something from her… I’m just relaxing and enjoying her company.

This simple shift in attitude and action can have a POWERFUL impact on how safe a woman feels with you… and whether or not she trusts you enough to allow things to get hot.

3. Role Play With Random Women To Spark Attraction

Many guys think that if you want to pick up a woman and get her number and email… that you have to do something fancy, gimmicky, or complicated. Vin disagrees. One sure-fire and simple method he suggests for approaching women is ROLE-PLAYING.

Role-playing is great because it naturally puts you in a light, playful mood. Not only is it fun for you, but it also shows women you’re comfortable in your own skin.

Here’s how it works:

Let’s say you’re in the mall and there’s a cute girl working in a store. You can see she’s busy straightening up things. Walk up to her with a playful attitude and say something like, “You know, it’s about time… I’ve been looking for a good interior decorator for a long time… and here you are! My kitchen still has 1970’s wall paper, what do you suggest?”

Most women love spontaneous role-playing like this, and they’re very likely to play along.

One of the great benefits of an approach like this is that it communicates that you’re a CHALLENGE.

In a subtle way you’re saying, “Hey, I’m creative and fun…. Can you even go there with me? Do you have the wit, the mind, the humor, and imagination to get into this with me?” And on the other side of the coin, if you do this in a fun and confident way and a woman brushes you off, it’s so easy to throw it back at her in a fun way and just say, “Oh, I guess you’re not that creative, eh?”

With the right tone and attitude, there’s almost no way you can lose.

4. Capitalize On Windows Of Opportunity

A lot of guys think that building attraction has to take a lot of TIME. They believe they have to continually impress a woman or show her all the different parts of his life… until she finally sees that one thing about him that make her FEEL it for him. Nothing could be further from the truth.

There are ALWAYS windows of opportunity, even from the very MOMENT you meet a girl. If you capitalize on them, she’ll start to feel attracted to you INSTANTLY.

But if you miss them, especially several in a row, she’s going to decide that you’re dumb… or that you don’t “get” women… or that you’re too much of a Wuss to be assertive and go after what you want.

Vin shared a couple of great examples of important windows of opportunities you can capitalize on –

Let’s say you’re out with a group of your buddies and you’re talking to a girl who’s with her friends. If she asks you a question about yourself, it shows that she’s interested in you personally.

Here’s your window of opportunity.

As you’re answering her question, step to the side. By doing this, you’ll be pulling her attention away from the group and more toward you. Vin calls “mini-isolation.” You’re isolating her from the group, and giving her the feeling that the two of you are talking one on one even though she hasn’t left the safety of her group of friends.

Best of all, she’s going to feel like SHE was the one who singled YOU out because she was the one who asked the initial question.

Here’s another example:

If a woman ever gives you a compliment – on your shirt, or your eyes, or whatever – immediately return the compliment, step in, and touch her. Put your hand on her waist and gently pull her toward you.

Because she’s the one who initiated the compliment, she will feel like SHE is the one putting the moves on YOU.

Nice.

What we’re really talking about here is the behavior that all of us guys would NATURALLY exhibit if it weren’t for all the negative programming we receive growing up and in the media on the topics of women and sex.

When we get over our false insecurities and our shame about sexuality, seizing these windows of opportunity becomes second nature.

Practice being proactive like this. Women will LOVE you for it.

5. Di Carlo Escalation Ladder

Vin has come up with what I believe is an ingenious model for taking things “physical” with a woman in an utterly smooth, natural way.

He calls it the “Di Carlo Escalation Ladder.”

It’s a tool you can use to progress from one physical level to the next with a woman without making the large jumps that typically cause a woman to reject you. Vin created this method by looking back at his own success with a lot of different women, and realizing that he naturally used the exact same process with different women over and over… and it worked almost every time.

Here’s his model:

He categorized all sort of touching, or “kino,” into 3 different classes.

Class 1 is the arms and hands. This includes shaking hands, high fives, palm reading, touching her arm while you’re talking to her, etc.

Class 2 is the legs and torso. This includes incidentally touching her abs with your hand as you’re talking, giving her a hug, etc.

Class 3 is the face or neck or hair. This includes brushing something from her face, or lightly brushing her neck as you touch a necklace she’s wearing, etc. And, importantly, with each class you have two types of kino:

Incidental or Overt.

Incidental Kino happens naturally or accidentally out of circumstance. For example, sitting next to her and having your legs touching her legs. Or if you’re talking in a club and your face brushes against hers while you speak in her ear.

Women usually have no problem with this sort of touching because it happens naturally…

Overt Kino is touching that’s obviously on purpose, like holding a woman’s hand, walking arm and arm, putting her hand on your thigh, etc.

The way Vin’s method works is you start with Class 1 Incidental Kino.. then move to Class 1 Overt Kino.. then Class 2 Incidental… then Class 2 Overt… and on and on.

The idea here is that if a woman is okay with Incidental Kino on a certain level, and she gets comfortable with it, she’ll be 10 times more likely to be okay with OVERT Kino on the SAME level.

If you progress through the “De Carlo Ladder” step by step, you’ll always know how comfortable a woman is with going to the next level BEFORE you try to go there.

And that’s pretty damn cool.

Vin shared 2 other important points on using his ladder –

First, don’t try to escalate with a girl into x-rated zones unless you’re planning on going all the way. If you ALMOST go all the way but don’t quite follow through, the next time you get together with her she’ll assume you’ll try to seal the deal this time and you’re likely to get some resistance.

Vin says it’s better to go no further than Class 3 Overt until you’re in an environment where you can take things all the way…like her bedroom.

Also, realize that if you really follow Vin’s ladder to a T, it’s almost like a Jedi Mind Trick – she’ll hardly even notice that things are escalating physically. It’ll feel natural to her, like it’s “just happening.”

“With great power, comes great responsibility…”

6. Make Her See You As The Prize She Wants

Most men have the mindset that they need to “win over” the woman they want. Of course, this gives THE WOMAN all the power in the relationship.

What would it be like if she was pursuing YOU? If instead of her being the prize you’re trying to win over… YOU became the prize SHE tries to win over?

Here are 2 of the tools Vin shared to help make this happen:

His first tool is called Vision. Think of an important thing you’re going after in life that’s NOT her – your career, a serious hobby, etc., – and come up with ways that she can contribute to this passion of yours.

Instead of trying to fit into her life and be the perfect boyfriend, think of how SHE can fit into and add to YOUR life.

This keeps your power for yourself… prevents you from getting into the mind set of chasing after her and sacrificing things to “win her over”… and keeps you in the position of qualifying her to see if SHE has what it takes to be involved in YOUR life.

Vin’s second tool is called Contribution Reframe.

The idea here is that if you playfully introduce the idea of her contributing and making an effort to win you over, she’ll begin to automatically do this.

So… you go over to her house and you notice it’s spotless. You say, “Oh, sweetie, you didn’t have to clean up your whole place just for me.” She might respond that she always keeps her place this clean… to which you can sarcastically come back with “It’s OK. I believe you.”

Or if you meet a woman after work and she’s dressed up, you can say “Honey, you didn’t have to get dressed up for me.” If she tells you that she dresses like that for work, you again can come back with the “It’s OK, I believe you.”

Love it.

I hope you enjoyed this interview with Vin as much as I did… he revealed plenty of material that you can go out and use IMMEDIATELY.

In fact, I encourage you to listen to this interview several times, write down 3 of your favorite ideas, then GET OUT THERE and start using this killer content IMMEDIATELY.

And I’ll talk to you again soon.

Your Friend,

David D.

 

Online Dating Sites Reviewed Here

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There are TONS of online dating sites to choose from out there. There are free online dating sites as well as paid membership sites to choose from. Here you will find a review of every online dating site listed here, with more coming soon. I personally have reviewed American Singles, Christian Café, Date.com, eHarmony, FriendFinder, Great Expectations, Matchmaker, Mingles, Ok Cupid and Perfect Match for you.

Do yourself a favor and look through the online dating sites and seriously, become members of more than one! Most people with start with the free online dating sites, but keep in mind that the paid online dating sites are going to have the women who are a lot more serious about getting a date. If you are willing to fork out a few bucks to find the right person (and many times – it is a LOT LESS COSTLY THAN 1 BAD DATE A MONTH!) you will have more luck that the other guys hanging out at the singles bars and clubs.

Put some serious thought into your profile, too, when you put it up there for the ladies to see. I will be putting up a section on profile tips, as well, as soon as possible.

Don’t know where to start? The TOTALLY FREE online dating site is OK Cupid, and Mingles.com does offer a paid membership – but the free members also get many of the same features. The rest of the online dating sites DO offer some free features but they are, of course, not as robust as the paid features of the online dating sites. eHarmony is the most expensive, but probably the most worth your dollar because their matching technology is better than any other online dating site. Great Expectations has a true personal touch, as they have live people that call you and conduct phone interviews and really spend some time with you to see what you want.

The remaining sites are all about the same cost-wise, but also well worth the money (they wouldn’t be here if they weren’t!). If you want my two cents, I vote for eHarmony or Great Expectations.

Dating Tips: How To Tell If She’s Interested

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-By David DeAngelo

OK, I have a quick trick question for you.  That’s right, I said a quick TRICK question. How can you tell if a woman is interested in you?  Answer quickly.

So what gives?  Why am I asking you a trick question?

Simple.  Because I’m trying to make you THINK.  I’m sure that, just like me, you’ve read a hundred dating tips and articles that say things like:

“If she tilts her head to one side and strokes her neck, that’s a sign of interest…”

“If she licks her lips in a longing fashion, that means she’s interested in you…”

“If she laughs a lot, makes positive eye contact, and touches you often, then she likes you…”

DUH!

I remember when I first read all this stuff.  I thought to myself “Wow, cool! I must have been missing these hints because I didn’t know to look for them. Now I’ll know when a woman is interested in me…”.

Well, there was ONE SMALL problem…

The problem is that women display these MAJOR INTEREST signals in about 1 of 1,000 interactions with men…

And there was one BIG problem…

That problem was that none of the damn dating tips I read said a single thing about how to MAKE women give you these signals.

In other words, what I realized is that average guys like me who don’t get “approached” by women need to learn not only WHAT to look for, but, more importantly, how to actually CREATE ATTRACTION in women so they GAVE me these signals in the FIRST PLACE.

So let me share with you some dating tips on how to MAKE women feel ATTRACTION for you… and then I’ll share some ideas on what to LOOK FOR to tell if a woman is interested.

And my ideas will be a WEEEEEE BIT different than the ones you read in your flirting books.

OK, so you’re out at a bar with a few friends, and it’s time to meet some interesting women.

You look around, and none of the hot young babes in there seem to be tilting their heads to one side, looking you in the eye, and licking their lips… so you decide to DO SOMETHING.

What do most guys do in this situation?

Either:

1) Nothing, because they’re scared, or…

2) Something typical, like ask a girl to dance, or if he can buy her a drink.

If you’re guilty of doing these, raise your hand.

Then take your raised hand, and slap yourself silly. Not too hard. But silly.

Here’s a thought for you…

If you put 100 guys in a bar with one beautiful women sitting alone, and you say to all 100 of the guys “Hey guys, which one of you can walk over to that woman and do something to make that woman feel a SEXUAL ATTRACTION for you?”… I’d say that
if you’re LUCKY, one of them will claim that he can do it.

In other words, for most guys, the idea of walking up to a girl they don’t know and doing something that will TRIGGER an attraction is completely outside of their universe.

This is one of the reasons why guys do things like asking girls to dance, buying them drinks, etc.

Now, something you must understand when it comes to women and ATTRACTION is that women don’t feel ATTRACTION for WUSSIES.

ATTRACTION isn’t a CHOICE.

It isn’t logical (at least, on the surface).

But once you start to “get it”, everything changes. Your entire perspective changes once you “get it”, and your results change instantly as well.

So here’s a dating tip for you to try:

MESS WITH WOMEN.

That’s right “mess with” them.

Tease.

Bust on.

Be difficult.

Why?

Because it INSTANTLY communicates that:

1) You could care less what she thinks of you.

2) You’re a fun person.

3) You’re unpredictable.

4) You’re a bit of a “wild card”

5) You GET IT.

Now, you might be shaking your head right now and saying “That’s doesn’t make any sense. Why would a woman feel attracted to me if I mess with her instead of being nice?”.

That’s a good question.

But for now, take the hand that you slapped yourself with earlier, and slap yourself again.

Good.

I want you to STOP following your “be nice and kiss ass” instincts when you first meet a woman, and instead practice MESSING WITH HER.

Make fun of something.

Go to hand her something, then pull it away at the last second.

Shake your head in despair and tell her that she’s screwing up her chances with you.

Say something Cocky & Funny, then turn around and walk away before she can respond to your face.

Can ya feel me, dog?

Now the good stuff…

HOW TO TELL IF SHE’S INTERESTED

Well this is what you were looking for, so here it is…

I’m going to give you a stupid-proof formula for knowing whether or not a woman is interested in you.

Here it is:

1) You engage her.

2) She engages you back.

Yes, that’s it. Please stop the applause long enough that I can finish. You can clap later.

I know that this sounds a little “Duh-ish”, but stay with me here.

If I walk into a restaurant, and the hostess asks me how many are in my party, and I answer with “Well, there are three of us. I guess there will be FOUR if YOU join us…” and she laughs at my joke, then IT’S ON!

If I’m standing at the bar, and the woman next to me bumps into my arm, and I turn and say “Hey, watch it, OK? Keep some space here, I need at least a foot of room…” in a serious tone of voice… and she starts playing along by smiling and moving away from me then back again playfully, then IT’S ON!

If I’m talking to a woman that I met at the magazine rack, and I ask her “What’s with that huge purse of yours? You got a dog in there or something?” and she starts laughing and making excuses, then IT’S ON!

In a nutshell, what I’m trying to say is:

1) Stop looking around for signals from women that they’re “interested” in you.

2) Stop CARING whether or not a particular woman is interested in you.

3) Instead, start TRIGGERING the interest, and watching to see if women ENGAGE. If they do, then assume that IT’S ON!

As long as you use how she’s responding to what YOU do as your gauge, then you’ll have a MUCH easier time spotting the “she wants me” clues…

…Because YOU ARE THE ONE CAUSING THEM.

 

Copyright 2008 David DeAngelo Communications Inc., All Rights Reserved. "David DeAngelo" and "Double Your Dating" are trademarks used by David DeAngelo Communications Inc.
 

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