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Approaching Women the Wygant Way

March 15, 2012 By GetTheGirl

(Above: David Wygant)

David Deangelo recently interviewed famous dating coach David Wygant.  David W, a divorced man, in his thirties, had no desire to once again start hitting the bars and clubs to find a date.  Therefore David Wygant started honing other pick up skills, and soon discovered he had a knack for meeting women in other places and later, discovered he could teach other men his dating tips and pick up techniques – in other words – how to do what he did.

David Wygant tells the listeners a story about what he does to flirt with women.  On a whim, David took a couple of his friends into the local grocery.  His friends picked out a (hopefully) single woman in the store, and told him to go get her number.  And he did!  He walked up to her and started talking about cereal, and David Wygant managed to turn the conversation to sex (from CEREAL) and picked up the girl, just like that.

“So where do you start when you are coaching a man?” David Deangelo wants to know.  First, David Wygant will actually travel to his customer’s home to learn how that person acts in their own familiar setting.  He wants to understand how they present themselves so that he can give them great conversational dating tips and advice directed specifically at them.  Next, he has the man approach a woman and observes body language, the conversation, how the man reacts to the woman, observation what cues he gives her, how he closes, how they dress and so much more.

David Deangelo asks next, “How does someone take their own personal inventory to do this kind of thing at home?”  David Wygant recommends figuring out your greatest assets, first.  This creates what he calls a “home field advantage”.  What are you passionate about?  What do you love to do?  The examples he gives are someone who loves photography, loves food and wine, cars, etc.  You can eliminate cars, because most women are not going to care about cars.  But let’s take the food and wine – start going to cooking seminars, wine tasting and breweries.  Use food and wine to meet women, if you see a woman drinking a glass of wine, go up to her and talk to her about it, use it to get your foot in the door.  Women are looking for a confident, passionate, secure man.  Communicating your passion to a woman communicates these things to her directly.

Another great dating tip David W. gives David Deangelo is to spend a minute every day, like 5  to 10 times a day, flirting with women even if you are not attracted to them.

Here are some great pick up lines:

At the gym:  “May I work with you?”  “Working out can be a little monotonous, let’s have some fun!  You do my weights and I’ll do yours”.  So make fun of the 10 pounds she is doing on the bench press machine, struggle and make a face like you can’t do it.  Then when it’s her turn, only put like 20 pounds on the machine and when she does, tell her she won a personal training session with you.

On the street:  “Excuse me, do you know where a coffee shop is?”  (Even if you are standing in front of it.)  Ask if it’s her favorite, why is that her favorite, etc, listening to her responses and asking questions accordingly.

In a bar:  David Wygant says Strike fast and early!  Ask them out before 10pm so that every guy that hits on them later gets compared to you.  Walk over to her.  “Are your friends doing the same things my friends are doing?  Making you wait?”  Then the conversation starts…ask her questions, listen and respond.  Then look at your phone like you got a text message.  “Oh!  My friend’s in the dining room, I have to go.  I would love to have dinner with you some night, what’s your number?”

Book Store:  Friday and Saturday nights are great for meeting women in book stores.  This is where the great women go to hide from the dorks at the bar.  Walk the aisles, pick the woman you want to approach and observe her.  See what books she is looking at to see her interests.  David Wygant says to walk over to her and “break her space” by saying “Excuse me” and reaching across her to get a book right in front of her.  The look at her book and say, “Oh, (read the title) – great – is that a (whatever type of section you are in) book?” and then she will start talking about the book.  Then ask her, “Oh cool, are you into (whatever it is)?”  Get her talking and you listening and ask questions based on what she has to say.

In a clothing store: “Excuse me, can I help you?….Let me give you my opinion on those jeans/that dress/etc.”  Then when you tell them you don’t work there, they think it’s hysterical.

Yoga Class:  A great place to meet women!  Get there early.  Pick the one you are attracted to and put your mat down next to her.  Tell her, “Look, I am really not good at this, so please don’t laugh at me”.  So then, you leave her alone.  Go through the class.  When it is over, tell her, “That was a great class, I really enjoyed it.”  Then she will more than likely tell you how great you were, and you can take the conversation from there, telling her how hard you try, etc.

These are just a few of the great dating tips that David Deangelo gets from his interview series guest, David Wygant.  There are so many more dating tips out there, but the best thing that any man can do to increase his pick up rate with women is to listen when they talk and ask questions.  Don’t ask “Do you like to do this?”  Ask her “Why do you like to do this?”  Project your passions, which will in turn, create attraction, and build upon them and appear, over all, confident and sure of yourself when approaching any woman.

P.S. Since the interview that DW did with David DeAngelo – he has developed this AMAZING program that you have just GOT to hear.  He has gone into the mind of WOMEN – interviewing women on every topic from sex to flirting, pick up lines and everything in between – to get them to tell us what REALLY WORKS.

Filed Under: Approaching Women, Articles

Dealing With Tests from Women!

March 15, 2012 By GetTheGirl

by David Deangelo

***DATING QUESTION FROM A READER***

Hi David,

I attended your dating advice seminar in LA and it was a real eye opener for me. I’ve listened to the advanced CD series 2 times since then and each time I’m learning something new. I’ve noticed that the trick is to go out and gain experience meeting more women and then come back and listen to more tips on the CDs again and you’ll be surprised how much more you’re picking up. After attending your seminar I’m now able to start a conversation with a woman in a bookshop and get her to follow me from there to another location to have coffee\tea etc, and I’m now able to this on a CONSISTENT basis, something I didn’t think was possible before.

My question to you is regarding and Answering (or not answering) questions from women. I now understand that if you directly answer ‘qualifying’ questions from a single woman then you’re accepting her qualifying frame, which is VERY bad for attraction. But how about questions that seem like she’s genuinely trying to get to know you better? But I need some advice on how to handle it when a woman says, “You never answer my questions…” and then goes on and on about it? I’ve had this kind of situation many times, I know it’s a sh**-test but I haven’t found an effective way of dealing with it yet.

For an example of this kind of test please read the chat below which is an excerpt from an online chat I had recently. I met her online but we’ve spoken on the phone several times, she lives in a different country from me so we haven’t been able to meet yet, but plan to do so soon. Not so much for this particular girl but I would like to know how to deal with this kind of situation with any single girls in future. Tell me what you think, and if I handled her questions (and accusations) properly and what I could have done better. With thanks.

Your loyal student. G. (London, England)

>>>David Deangelo’s COMMENTS:

Great job!

It’s good hearing from you, “G”. I remember you very clearly from the LA seminar… and I remember the breakthrough you had.  Congratulations on getting to the next level.  It’s exciting to hear that you can now go out to a bookstore and get a woman to join you for tea on the spot on a consistent basis. Nice!

On to your questions…

First of all, let’s talk about the whole concept of “testing”, and why women do it (and, more importantly, how to deal with it when it happens).

In a nutshell, “testing” is a woman’s way of QUICKLY finding out a lot of information with a very small investment.  You must remember that beautiful single women are being approached ALL THE TIME in one way or another… just about every man they meet tries to pick them up or come on to them.  Women can FEEL this happening, even before it actually starts.

Now, if a woman is “available”, she must figure out a way to “separate the men from the boys” so to speak, and figure out if a single guy is going to be worth her time.

Enter the TEST.

Also, if an attractive woman is out on a date with a man, or having a phone conversation, etc.  (or anything else that could be perceived as taking things to the next level) she must find out quickly whether this particular guy is:

1. Long-term relationship material

2. Short-term “affair” material

3. Friend material

4. Wuss material

5. The Gimp from Pulp Fiction

Keep in mind, a beautiful woman has LOTS of options. She’s being approached probably 100+ times a month with date offers, etc. and could never hope to spend even a small fraction of her time with all the men who are interested in her.  She must use TESTS to quickly cut to the chase and find out what a particular guy is REALLY all about.  Tests can take many forms.

Here are a few common ones:

1. Canceling plans with little notice, or flaking out entirely without notice

2. Asking for gifts or favors outright

3. Acting snotty, demanding, dramatic, or manipulative to see if you’ll put up with it

4. Asking or telling you to change your behavior

5. Threatening to leave or take her attention and give it to someone else if you don’t comply with her wishes

…and the list goes on.  As you already know, women often use more SUBTLE tests as well.  For instance, complaining that you don’t answer her directly, to see if you will.  Or telling you that what you’re doing is annoying to her.

In your email, you wrote…

“But how about questions that seem like she’s genuinely trying to get to know you better? Also how do handle it when a woman says, “You never answer my questions…” and then goes on and on about it? I’ve had this kind of situation many times, I know it’s a sh**-test but I haven’t found an effective way of dealing with it yet.”

…well, the good news for you is that you know a guy who has had this happen A LOT more times to him… and that person is ME!  And the “effective” way to deal with it is to keep doing exactly what you’re doing.  The “problem” here is how you’re interpreting the situation.

My guess is that all of the problems you’re having around this issue come from the fact that you “see” it as a problem… not because there actually IS a problem.  Here’s a little chunk of the dialogue that you included with your email…

Her: I really love fooling around and chatting around…. but I don’t like it if I never get answers to just normal not indiscreet questions.  Me: Indiscreet… hmmm. Ask whatever questions you want.  Me: you’ll get to know me as it goes.  Her: I already did…. and I don’t have a list to write that down…. I just noticed that… last time when you called me on the phone… and today, too…… every time I ask something about your past I get a slapstick answer

Me: don’t mind me that’s how I talk. I’m playful but we’ll get to know each other as we go along.  Me: it’s a natural process.  Me: you can’t force it

…OK.

The way I read this, you GAVE IN when she started complaining and said, “…don’t mind me that’s how I talk…”.  You basically said, “Don’t mind me, I’m actually kind of a Wuss, and that’s how I talk”.  Are you with me here?  You didn’t need to EXPLAIN yourself, or make an excuse for yourself.

What I’m trying to say is that YOU are the problem here, not the women who complain about you not answering their questions.  Try this instead:

Her: I already did…. and I don’t have a list to write that down…. I just noticed that… last

time when you called me on the phone… and today, too…… every time I ask something about your past I get a slapstick answer

Me: I’m glad you like it. Maybe that’s why you keep messaging me and thinking about me so much!

…see the difference here?

If a woman complains because you’re being difficult, LAUGH. Pretend you’re a bad little boy on the school playground, and you just pulled her hair… and she’s upset with you…   What would the little boy do?  He’d laugh… and then snap her bra!  Keep things fun. Don’t let her change your direction or upset your mood.

There’s ALWAYS a better way to do things.

For example…

Let’s say you’ve decided that the woman you’re talking to is really starting to get annoyed, and you want to give her a little chunk of info.  Instead of saying, “Don’t mind me”, say, “OK, I’m a single guy, 27 years old, I work for an accounting firm, I pay my own rent, I wear socks that match, and I love my mom… is that better? How boring is that?”

In other words, TELL HER what she wants to know, but say it in a sarcastic way that also says “Fine, you’re boring and since you can’t think of anything fun to talk about, I’ll answer you…Brat”.

Keep in mind… this whole style of communication is VERY different from what most

guys do… and it’s often surprising to a woman. When she kicks and screams a bit, it’s usually because she’s genuinely surprised. But don’t mistake her whining for REAL resistance.

If she actually gets upset and doesn’t want to talk to you anymore just because you didn’t answer her questions, and instead busted her balls a bit, then let her go. You learned something VERY valuable, and you didn’t even have to marry her to learn it.

Also, when a woman starts resisting your evasive and humorous comments…

…LAUGH!

Have fun.

You need to learn to enjoy yourself during this process. It sounds to me like you’re letting this stuff get to you… which is NOT useful.   By the way… there was something you said to this girl that I absolutely LOVED…

Her: are you dating somebody right now?  [deleted comment that was out of sync]

Me: is this a marriage proposal… you’ve got to be rich though    …this is great!

She asks if you’re dating someone, and you ask her if she’s proposing! And then you said “You’ve got to be rich, though”.  Now THAT’S the right way to answer a question

like that one.  Nice!

To finish, I’m going to do something a little bit unconventional, and include another email that I just received from a guy in Australia (He has the same first initial as you… I wonder if there’s a relation…).

Read this:

“You ROCK, since I am new to your publication I am unsure if you get much mail from Australia.

What a difference a week makes. Last Saturday I had a date with a great young lady. Smart, sexy, beautiful etc. Well the 1st date didn’t go to badly, some passionate kissing and fun, but when it came time to try to take her top off, the answer was a firm NO. That is where the night ended. Mustn’t have been too bad cause I got a follow up date the next Friday, but I also got the cold(ish) shoulder. What she didn’t know is I got your book on Wednesday. Wow, what a difference. I realized she was lining me up for the hoop  jumping as a potential “long term relationship” and sex was at least three dates away-way too far.

She was playing games, but your book came to the rescue. When i phoned her to make the date, she said “I will PENCIL you in”. Well in my old ways I would have said “Yeah sure”, but there is a new Greg with Double Your Dating Power. When she tried the line I came back with “Well let me know. I am a busy man, if you can’t make it, I need to know-NOW.”

When I picked her up, she kissed me on the cheek (after playing tonsil hockey the week before, was a little strange). So I put your strategies into play.  I didn’t touch her for 4 hours, didn’t hit on her, didn’t look at her, was very standoffish. Went out of my way to point out her strange behavior. At one stage I called her “A walking contradiction”.  When she went down the “But it will change our friendship if we take this further (read long term relationship) path-I said “That’s fine, I just want to have a little FUN.”

When I finally did kiss her she melted. Only for me to stop after about 45 seconds. I then didn’t touch her again for about 1/2 an hour. She finally took her own top off (I couldn’t budge it 6 days before) and then she said “I will make you a deal, if I take a piece of clothing off, then you must take one off as well. She was chasing me!!!!

Well we undresses and had a great time for about three hours. Afterwards, she invited me out! Love your stuff. Must go and re-read your wonderful words again. I can’t wait to get the DVD’s.

Regards,   G.

PS So if any of you want to come over here, know it works and works really well. And there are plenty of great looking women. G.”

>>>David Deangelo’s COMMENTS:

…OK, so I included this story because I wanted to demonstrate a different aspect of

testing, and of “passing” this kind of testing with FLYING colors.  Often, a woman will test you by RESISTING you, or by telling you that “things are moving too fast” or even by asking you what your intentions are with her long term (when you’ve only known her

a short while, and have no intentions of any kind).

What this gentleman above did was to SEE her bet, and then RAISE her.  He called her bluff, basically.

WOMEN LOVE THIS!

It INSTANTLY shifts the power from one side to the other, and totally changes the situation around.

Points I’d like to comment on:

1) The first time you saw her, you kissed. When you tried to take off her top, the answer was a “firm NO”.

>>>The reason why the answer was a “firm NO” was because you gave her something to resist. Instead of amplifying the ATTRACTION in the situation, and building the ANTICIPATION, you just went for it.  Next time, you’ll know better.

2) The second time you saw her, you didn’t do anything that even LIGHTLY indicated that you were interested in her.

>>>Great job! This is perfect. Most guys can’t go four MINUTES without screwing things up by trying to kiss a woman, asking her how she’s feeling, trying to make a girl smile, or doing some other Wuss Bag thing that blows everything. You were able to stay cool and calm for FOUR HOURS… and allow the tension to build.  I guarantee you that she was wondering what the hell was going on.

3) When you finally did kiss her, you STOPPED after 45 seconds… then didn’t do anything else for a half hour.

>>>Again, great move. Perfect. It doesn’t surprise me at ALL that she took her own top off, then told you that you had to take something off as well.  This is what happens when you understand the process by which women test… and the process by which women become sexually aroused.

…thanks for the email.

Now, in this newsletter I’ve focused on the topic of TESTING. I’ve also discussed amplifying attraction, and eliminating resistance from women.  The reason that these two guys who wrote in are doing so well right now is because they understand something that most guys DON’T understand.

They “get it”.

And, like most of the people I’ve met in life who are trying to be the best they can be, they’re always looking to improve. They’re continuing to educate themselves, even though they have a level of success that most men would envy.

It took me about three or four YEARS to finally “get it”, and to have total confidence that I could go out anywhere, anytime, and meet women.  That was partly because I couldn’t find any good models to learn from… and partly because I had to “unlearn” a lot of bad programming I had obtained along the way.

The reason I wrote my original eBook “Double Your Dating” was because I wanted to be able to help other guys out there to understand how to be successful with women and dating… without having to go through all the hassles and wasted time that I had to deal with.

Filed Under: Articles, Relationship Advice for Men

Deserve What You Want

March 15, 2012 By GetTheGirl

By Scot McKay

Let’s talk about someone who deserves to be covered in WAY more detail than I’ve ever shared before.

It’s clearly time to do so, because I’m getting more and more e-mails from guys who are going on dates with her–often leading to long-term relationships with her.

I’m referring, of course, to the infamous “double-standard chick”.

On the surface, she’s probably beautiful, intelligent and possibly even fun to be with.

But after only a short time of hanging out with her, you start to realize that something doesn’t feel right.

Essentially, you feel like she’s got rights and privileges that you aren’t free to reserve for yourself.

Worse, you feel as if you’d be either selfish or flat-out ridiculous were you to make an issue of it in any way.

For example, she is disappointed, hurt or even straight-up angry when you even so much as glance at another woman at the mall. Whether you actually did so or not is unimportant. She believes you did, so you’d better stop it.

Meanwhile, she has quite a number of guys in her life who are “just really, really, really good friends”. When they show up, they hug her, banter with her and behave in a manner that you are all but sure is flirting.

And sure enough, she hits them on the shoulder and giggles in return.

Sometimes, she even hangs out with them…as in on a “1-on-1 basis”. They get sushi. Study together. Get a few drinks.

And sometimes she sort of gets too tired to drive home, so she crashes at his place…on the couch, of course.

That’s all okay, though, because he’s “like a big brother” to her.

Do you say anything when this goes on?

Probably not. After all, that would make you appear insecure. You’d look like you were threatened.

And that’s not very masculine. You’ve been taught that being “needy” is a bad idea, it is NOT  a trait of the Alpha Male. So you back off.

But the fact remains that you know if you were to hang out with other women like that, she WOULDN’T put up with it.

So how does she get away with this?

Simply put, she’s got a DOUBLE-STANDARD working.

And YOU, my good man, have BOUGHT INTO it.

The programming goes something like this:

Step One: Believe all men are dogs, only want one thing, and therefore are untrustworthy.

Step Two: Believe that women, on the other hand, are the ones who are universally committed to faithful relationships and monogamy. All they want is “Mr. Right”.

Step Three: Women are givers of life and nurturers, whereas men are the ones responsible for wars and strife. So if there’s a problem, it’s the guy’s fault…

Step Four: …and WHEN there’s a problem, the guy’s response is expected to be one of aggression and oppression toward the more passive woman, who is in danger of being physically and/or emotionally abused at any given moment.

So the end result of such programming is that a woman considers herself inherently trustworthy. She knows SHE wouldn’t cheat or anything.

Meanwhile, however, since you are a guy, what are understood to be YOUR “inherent” traits must be kept under lock and key.

“But wait a second,” you ask, “all I really want is a great girlfriend. And even if I am dating more than one woman, I’m honest and respectful about it. And hey, it’s not like I’ve started any wars lately. I’ve never even been in a fistfight.”

“Besides,” you say, “every time I’ve ever seen an episode of ‘Cheaters’ there’s as many women on there running around as men.”

Indeed.

So how did this happen?

Moreover, how is it that we as guys can watch ourselves getting “owned” right before our very eyes, yet we feel much more comfortable pretending it “isn’t what it looks like” rather than standing up to the “double-standard”?

And why do we feel compelled to tell her to “have fun” with a wave and a smile when she goes out with her friends to a bar or club-looking hotter than we’ve seen her in weeks-when we’re loaded down with guilt if we go to the sports bar on a Saturday afternoon to watch the game and have a beer or two with the guys?

Here it is: You’ve ALLOWED YOURSELF to take on the archetypal guilt of every other guy before you who allegedly acted like an I/J (Idiot/Jerk).

In other words, you believe women are the “oppressed” race, and that you are part of the social group who is historically responsible for the “oppression”.

So you walk on eggshells.

After all, you most certainly want to be part of the solution rather than the problem.

You want to correct millennia of errant behavior on the part of men everywhere-all the way from dragging women into the cave by their hair to paying them less per hour compared to men for the same type of work.

You might even subconsciously feel it’s incumbent upon you to make “restitution”, as preposterous as that sounds when printed in black and white.

And “Double-Standard Chick”? She’s more than happy to allow you to take that on.

In fact, even years into a long-term relationship when guys are getting nagged a lot, it’s often because of unresolved “double-standard” issues.

Well, either that or she’s doing all the housework.

So let’s talk some sense here for a second.

First of all, consider that there are quite a few women who are reading this newsletter. They’re definitely out there, and they read because they like hearing what I tell you guys about how to be a great man – how to be the masculine Alpha Male she is looking for.

But some have taken the bait regarding the concept I’m talking about here also. In fact, in many cases it’s hook, line and sinker.

So I’ll likely get a smattering of angry e-mails from a few of them.

They’ll write me and accuse me of being negative toward women simply because I’m attempting to debunk the “double-standard”.

The truth, however, is that I’m exhorting a more positive representation of one another by BOTH MEN AND WOMEN.

Know this, gentlemen: Not EVERY woman subscribes to the “double-standard”.

Some believe that great men of character-like you-exist. They’d rather avoid negative influences in their life, think the best of a great man who comes along, and focus on having a healthy relationship.

This means that if you are indeed that “Big Four” guy (an Alpha Male) (masculine, confident, ability to inspire safety/security, high-character) you should EXPECT that such a woman will respond positively to you.

After all, you will share mutual respect and have each other’s best interests at heart.

Sound too good to be true?

If so, your reality needs an overhaul.

When you BUY IN to the “all male behavior is bad behavior” concept, you begin very quickly to feel actual, raw SHAME over simply being male.

This is particularly messed up because WOMEN LOVE MEN.

So even as you begin to “camouflage” your masculinity out of shame for all the “bad stuff” men have done to women over the years, you become LESS ATTRACTIVE.

And “Double-Standard Chick”?

She simply becomes even more annoyed by you, leading to what? You guessed it…a greater feeling of freedom towards treating you with disrespect.

A caveat here.

“Double-Standard Chick” may indeed be quite a gifted manipulator. But then again, she may be a perfectly well-meaning woman who happens to have been subject to the SAME faulty programming as YOU.

So the ultimate irony? Even those women who are beholden to the “double-standard” aren’t always particularly thrilled about it.

If you think about it, that makes the whole thing even more messed-up than previously thought.

Whoa. So what does all this mean?

It means that you DO have the right to consider yourself a REAL MAN and not the living perpetuation of “caveman culture”.

Therefore, it ALSO means that you need not passively endure the “double standard”.

ULTIMATELY, it means that YOU must LEAD. You must be the Alpha Man and stand up, speak on behalf of mutual respect-by name-and announce that your intention is to respect women and enjoy the company of those who respect you in return.

And if that’s not part of her plan, you wish her well.

Sound almost too easy?

Perhaps.

But the key here is to remember, as I alluded to, that some women who live by the “double-standard” are actually disgusted by it nonetheless.

Seriously. You should see the e-mails from women we get who expect the worst of guys, only to get annoyed when they act “nice” thinking it’s simply an indicator of a more covert form of “bad behavior”.

Usually, the guys they write about were tiptoeing around trying not to hurt the woman’s feelings…not wanting to be the “oppressor”.

Not always, of course, but usually.

Now listen, I’m not about to make some Pollyannaish assertion that everyone on Earth is an angel.

I fully get that there are indeed bona-fide I/Js out there. And by the way, guys, they’re giving great men like you a BAD NAME.

And similarly, there are women who mean well and those who do not.

No matter whether you are a man or a woman, you must DESERVE WHAT YOU WANT

If you want to be respected; if you want someone of high character in your life, then you MUST kill the “double-standard” programming and expect the best from MOTOS (Members Of The Opposite Sex).

Do you refuse to “settle” and choose to deserve what you want instead? If so, you’ll enjoy Scot McKay’s refreshing approach to dating and seduction, yours to discover at:

Deserve What You Want

Stop by right now and Scot will personally send you a FREE 8-part mini-course ($47 value) when you sign up for the X & Y Communications Newsletter, which is always packed with unique and practical dating tips.

Deserve What You Want

Filed Under: Articles

On Being a Man

March 15, 2012 By GetTheGirl

Masculinity and Attraction Tips for Guys

5 Ways To Lose A Girl FAST – Things That Tell Her Your Masculinity is Is Non-Existent!

Now THIS sounds like an interesting topic, doesn’t it? Why would you want to know how to LOSE a girl? Well, I’m going to propose a DANGEROUS IDEA.

I’m going to suggest that you are probably already an EXPERT in LOSING a girl. You might even be a “natural” at it. Most guys are.

But the PROBLEM is that most guys don’t UNDERSTAND why they’re so good at LOSING women.

In other words, they walk through the world screwing up one situation after another, and never realize JUST HOW GOOD they are at being BAD with women. And they don’t realize that just by changing a few key things they could change their level of success DRAMATICALLY.

One great way to increase your success in life is to start REALIZING what you’re doing. Once you actually understand what you’re doing and the results you’re triggering, you can CHANGE. So open your mind. Listen up.

TYPICAL THINGS MEN DO

As you’ve probably heard me say about a million times, MEN ARE PREDICTABLE. In fact, we’re PAINFULLY predictable. We all do basically the same things when we get into common situations with women…and we don’t even realize it.

I call this the “Originality Paradox.”

In our desire to be “original” and “unique,” we guys tend to do the SAME THINGS! Said differently, while you’re doing something that seems thoughtful and original, the attractive woman on the other end is thinking, “He’s just like all the other guys.”

Ouch.

So why is being predictable so bad?

Look at this formula:

Predictable = BORING.

Boring = NO EMOTIONS.

No Emotions = NO ATTRACTION.

No Attraction = NO GETTIN’ SHIZZY WITH THA NIZZY!

One of the VERY BEST ways to lose a girl is to be PREDICTABLE. Another huge mistake men make is GIVING AWAY OUR POWER to women.

I’m not going to go into it, but the reality is that women are NOT attracted to WEAK men. And I’m not talking about muscles here.

Here are a few examples of how we guys act PREDICTABLE, give away our power, and make about 147 other huge mistakes with women we’ve just met:

1) Call Her All The Time

If you like someone, it’s logical that you’re going to want to let them know, right?

Well, only if you like the idea of coming across like a total Jack-Wuss. I just made that up, by the way. Combination of Jackass and Wuss. Not sure if I like it, but I’m going to go with it.

Where was I? Yeah, calling her all the time. Calling all the time is usually triggered by INSECURITY and NEEDINESS. It sounds like a good idea, but it almost NEVER is.

This is a great way to lose a girl before you even have her. We might even call this one “Have Prevention.”

2) Offer To Take Her Somewhere “Nice”

What do most guys do when they meet a girl that they “really” like? Well, they call her up, and they get into a boring conversation about schools and families and jobs and 100 other painfully boring things…and when they finally realize that they’ve been on the phone for an hour, they realize that they’d better do SOMETHING soon…because she’s starting to talk about having to go wash her dog….

So what do they do?

They think to themselves, “Self, you’d better get up some nerve and ask her out. Hey! Self! I have a GREAT idea. Ask her to go out with you to a REALLY NICE place. She’ll be far more likely to want to do that, and besides, then she’ll know that you REALLY like her….”

And what does this REALLY communicate? Right, right. That you have the confidence to just ask her to spend time with you for NO REASON other than the fact that you want to…and that you must not be WORTH spending time with – without some kind of “meal incentive.”

Meal Incentive… lol… I crack myself up.

Well, this is one more example of something that “sounds good” in the moment, but is BAD BAD BAD for business.

3) Do “Thoughtful” Things From The Beginning

What’s better than a nice, thoughtful guy showing up at the door with flowers and candy for the first date? Well, to quote an old Saturday Night Live episode, “Throwing an entire box of thumb tacks on the floor, and rolling around in them naked.”

Or maybe taking one of those…you know…SERRATED KNIVES…yeah, that’s it…and putting it between your big toe and second toe and slicing back and forth really fast…and then pouring… you know…HOT SAUCE…yeah, that’s it…on the wound!

I hate it when that happens! But we men do this kind of thing all the time…because it sure sounds good in the moment.

By the way, don’t try the thumb tack thing or the hot sauce thing UNLESS you’re considering purchasing flowers and candy to bring to a first date. In that case, please take these measures to prevent yourself from acting on the uncontrollable urges.

If you come on too strong, you appear just like every other predictable Wussboy who has ever tried to make himself look better by giving gifts and food and favors in exchange for attention and approval.

4) Tell Her How You “Feel” About Her Early On

This might be one of my favorites.

I’m starting to think that we guys must come stock with a mechanism that actually compels us to open our BIG FAT MOUTHS and screw things up with only the BEST women.

I’ll call this the “Feeling Confessor” mechanism. It is triggered by strong feelings of attraction and emotion toward an unusually attractive woman.

I’ve talked to A LOT of attractive women in my life. And they all have one similar experience to share…

For some UNKNOWN and UNGODLY reason, men just seem to LOVE telling SUPER HOT women how they FEEL within the first couple of dates. As you might realize, I get a lot of emails from guys… And one of the common emails I get goes a little something like this:

“David, I met this unbelievably hot girl…she’s smart, interesting, successful…everything seemed to be going well…so I decided to tell her how I felt…and for some reason she said that she needs some “space” and some “time to be alone”…I don’t get it….”

Again, when you do this you’re making all kinds of huge mistakes…and basically doing everything you can do to LOSE her.

5) Keep Telling Her How You Feel When She Needs Space

And as if the last example wasn’t painful enough, most guys usually like to use this final “nail in the coffin” technique as well…

Here’s the situation:

You’ve met a girl you really like. Maybe you’ve gone out with her a few times. Doesn’t matter. You do all the things you can think of to SCREW IT UP, and you finally succeed. You prove to her that you just don’t get it and you don’t know how to handle a woman like her. So she says, “I need some space” or “I need some time to myself.”

And what do most guys do? Of course. They KEEP telling her how they feel. And they do it in 100 annoying ways. The thought that most guys have is, “If she only understood how I REALLY FELT ABOUT HER, then she would LOVE ME.”

It’s painful just typing the words.

So there you have it. Part of the magic formula for losing a girl fast. Interesting, isn’t it? But there’s a much DEEPER message here.

The message is this:

If you don’t understand the process of how to make women feel ATTRACTION for you, including the things to AVOID doing, then you’re not going to have success. Not knowing the rules of a game makes it very difficult (or impossible) to win.

And, unfortunately, we guys have a HUGE disadvantage when it comes to women and dating… We have emotional responses to situations that take over our “thinking,” and makes us do all the wrong things.

We usually sabotage OURSELVES.

Well, the good news is that it does NOT have to be this way. There is a BETTER way. If you found this particular discussion interesting, then you’re probably ready to learn the DEEPER secrets of how to be more successful with women and dating.

If you’re ready to STOP losing women faster than you can meet them, then it’s probably time for you to step up and get yourself an education about how to attract women and KEEP them attracted.

————————————————–
Copyright 2008 David DeAngelo Marketing Inc. David DeAngelo and Double Your Dating are trademarks.

Filed Under: Articles

The DAVID DEANGELO MAILBAG!

March 8, 2012 By GetTheGirl

David Deangelo has a killer free newsletter series for guys to read where he really answers some tough dating questions from single men just like you. I am working on getting a great archive going of those newsletters and emails, so we can all share in the free dating advice given by master dating guru David Deangelo himself! In the David Deangelo Mailbag, you will find all kinds of dating tips for men on any subject you could want. He covers all kinds of dating advice, from how to approach women, using Cocky Comedy, Meeting Women Online, pick up lines and how to act like an alpha male as well as anything else you would expect from Double Your Dating.

Check out each letter individually, or start with newsletter 1 by David Deangelo himself on using Cocky Comedy techniques. Or – you can read the most popular newsletter David D has ever written below…

Double Your Dating

 

“The Dark Side of Dating”

Over the past few years, since I published my book “Double Your Dating”… and since I’ve had some “commercial” success… I’ve been hearing more and more stories from my female

friends… and these stories are starting to alarm me.

 

To explain where I’m coming from, let me start with a story.

 

When I first made the decision to actually LEARN how to become more successful with women, I went out and did some serious research.

 

I’m talking “book style” research here.

 

I went to the library, searched online, went to live seminars, met dating “gurus”… and generally tried to figure out if anyone

ELSE had spent the time to figure this stuff out.

 

What I found was a “mixed bag” at best.

 

Some of the materials that I found sounded good, some of the stuff sounded completely ridiculous, and some sounded like it was ethically sketchy and manipulative.

 

Now, I’m an experimenter. I’ll try just about anything once.

 

And I did try ANYTHING.

 

One of the “mindsets” that I came across was something that sounded VERY interesting to me at the time.

 

It was the idea that a guy could make a woman feel attraction and other sexual feelings for him by saying things that contained “hidden messages”… things that the woman would not CONSCIOUSLY realize she was hearing… but that would have the “desired effect” anyway.

 

On its face, this sounded rather manipulative, but the rationale was that it was just “tapping into emotions that already existed”

inside of the woman… so it was “all good”.

 

So I tried some of this stuff.

 

Like I said, I’ll try anything.

 

My own experience was that this material very rarely worked. And it was never CONSISTENT for me.

 

Ultimately, I wound up feeling like this stuff just wasn’t an ethical fit for me. It was a little “over the edge” of being dishonest.

 

Everyone has their own sense of right and wrong, and after trying these things, I found that they didn’t work for me… in the sense that I didn’t like myself more after doing or saying them… and they didn’t FEEL right.

 

It’s funny, because now that I teach men how to meet women, I get questions all the time that start with things like “I don’t want to use the things you teach because I don’t want to be MANIPULATIVE with women”.

 

Ironic, really. Mostly because I think of the things I teach as being NON-manipulative.

 

And one of the things that I’ve realized is that being honest with yourself, and honest with women makes you feel like a better

person inside.

 

And I think that the way you feel about yourself determines so many things… from your inner level of satisfaction with life…

to the level of trust others have for you when they meet you.

 

As far as I’m concerned, the more CANDID and HONEST you can be with yourself and others, the more self-esteem and character you build for the long-run.

 

I don’t want to start sounding like an ethics professor or a philosopher, but let’s just say that MORE HONEST is MORE BETTER.

 

 

BACK TO MY POINT…

 

The reason I tell you this story is because the things that women have been telling me lately are starting to really bum me out.

 

There are a lot of guys teaching various ways to meet women right now… and some of them are teaching dishonesty as a “main strategy” with women.

 

And more and more guys I talk to are starting to talk to me about very DARK ideas for meeting women and getting dates.

 

Here’s the result…

 

I have one good female friend who recently told me that she dated a guy a few times, and that she recognized some “techniques” that he was using with her.

 

She asked him STRAIGHT UP:

 

“Do you know who David DeAngelo is?”

 

His reply:

 

“No.”

 

Later, she went online and did a search using his email address.

 

Jackpot!

 

She found that this particular guy was someone who posted in underground newsgroups about his conquests with women.

 

Here’s the good part:

 

As she was reading through his various online posts, she found stories written detailing everything about his experiences with HER.

 

Even her exact words from emails she had written to him… copied and pasted for the world to see.

 

And, as you can imagine, he knew EXACTLY who David D. was.

 

And my favorite part…

 

He detailed how he used various lines, words, and techniques to DECEIVE my friend, along with several other women.

 

 

ANOTHER ONE…

 

I have another female friend who is a very social person… who meets a lot of people and goes on a lot of dates.

 

A few times, she’s heard guys use phrases and techniques that seem like they’ve obviously been learned from me… so she asks them about it.

 

And guess what? Most of them DON’T OWN UP TO IT.

 

I mean, dude… it’s the 21st Century.

 

Women don’t care if you are working on learning how to be better in this area of your life.

 

But they sure as hell care if you don’t have the BALLS to be honest about it.

 

 

WHAT’S GOING ON HERE?

 

I have to say, I’m disappointed with this current state of affairs.

 

More and more stories of guys using deliberate lies and manipulation to get women into bed…

 

More and more stories of guys not being honest with themselves and women, because they don’t have the guts to take responsibility for their lives…

 

It seems to me that some of us guys have taken the idea of “learning cool tricks that help us meet women” and let it turn into a kind of “dark side” mindset of trickery, lies, and outright deception.

 

It’s not cool.

 

You want to learn a cool new “pick up line” or way to start a conversation… and try it out a bunch of times in an evening, even though it doesn’t feel “natural” to you?

 

Fine. Great, even.

 

Get outside your comfort zone, and have some fun.

 

You want to learn how to use hypnotism and other tricks to get women turned on without them being “consciously aware” of it?

 

OK, I can find a way to make that one make sense… as long as it’s done with a sense of integrity and healthy boundaries.

 

You want to lie to women, make up stories about who you are and your experiences in life… not own up to the truth… and

generally sell your soul to get laid?

 

Sorry, but that’s way over the line, and it’s sacrificing your character in order to selfishly take advantage of another person.

 

And when it turns into PREYING on women in order to fulfill your selfish needs, then I think you’re a dark, egotistical coward…who deserves whatever bad things may befall you.

 

 

IN SHORT…

 

I am not a perfect person, and I don’t claim to have never made a mistake in life… or to never have had a sneaky or manipulative

thought… or never lied to someone.

 

But a mentor once taught me that something CHANGES when you make the leap, and start BEHAVING in dark ways… and then ACCEPTING that type of thinking and behavior from yourself.

 

Further, I don’t think it’s NECESSARY to be one of the “bad guys” in order to succeed with women and succeed in life.

 

It’s OK to want to learn how to be more successful with women.

 

It’s OK to study it, try new things, and teach yourself this skill.

 

But I highly recommend that you stay honest, you be up-front about what you’re doing with women… and take responsibility for yourself and your life.

 

I would honestly prefer that you not buy or use any of my stuff if you’re planning to use it in a dark, predatory way.

 

I’ll talk to you in a couple of days.

 

 

David DeAngelo

 

P.S. Do some friends a favor, and FORWARD this article to their email addresses. It might be the biggest gift you ever give them.

 

_____________________________________________________________

Copyright 2008 David DeAngelo Communications Inc., All Rights Reserved. David DeAngelo and Double Your Dating are trademarks of David DeAngelo Communications Inc.

Filed Under: Articles, David Deangelo

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