YouCanGetTheGirl.com

Mingles Reviewed

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Mingles is one of the newer online dating sites where you can meet new people, create lasting relationships, mingle, or just have a great time! One of the unique features of Mingles is that they offer a very extensive free membership to their site, as well as the lowest priced paid membership that I have come across. The paid membership that Mingles offers is only $24.95 per YEAR, and it offers all the amenities of the free section plus a few more, as well as no advertising and additional support options for the site. For some guys that may just be worth the $2 a month!

On Mingles, it is always free to chat with other singles. With a free membership to Mingles you can not only post your profile and add photos of yourself, but you can also add a voice message which is a pretty unique feature and not one you would expect to find on a free site. Mingles also offers a feature called
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PhotoChat as well as message boards where you can search for members, receive email from other members ( and reply to emails you receive).

If you ante up the twenty four bucks, you can initiate unlimited email contacts and “winks” with other members, receive top placement in search results (THAT is a great boon), access mingle-matching (find members who are interested in you), plus access hidden chat rooms and message boards.

“Mingling” is a feature of Mingles that is totally unique to the online dating site world. Mingling means searching for people who have created descriptions that fit the profile you are wanting, much like eHarmony but simpler and quite a bit less expensive.

At Mingles they also offer a “hot list.” So when you find a profile of a single you think is attractive, you are able to add them to your hotlist or favorites. In Mingles’ unique photo chat room, you can see photos of the person you are speaking with.

Giving Women Intense Sexual Pleasure

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David Deangelo just finished up a fascinating interview with a gentleman named David Shade, a sexual “guru” who teaches men and women how to have better sex. He has written a phenomenal eBook called Masterful Lover that is a must read for any man who is looking to give a woman the ride of her life.  In his words… his specialty is “teaching guys how to take a woman’s pleasure beyond anything she’s ever imagined possible… and open up her up to things she is too inhibited to do… but KNOWS she would LOVE to do”…

1. Be The Man She Is Looking For

David Deangelo’s friend David Shade has a tremendous amount of experience with women… and he KNOWS what they want.  He explained to me that many women are sexually frustrated… not because they don’t have a man… but because their guy just doesn’t know how to please a woman.  Deep down, a woman wants a man who has the ability to “sweep her away”.

David Shade tells David DeAngelo that she wants to surrender to a man who is PASSIONATE and knows what he’s doing… so she can explore her sexuality in new and exciting ways that she would be too timid to explore otherwise.  If you can become the type of guy who has real a passion for pleasing women, and you learn how to please them in ways that other guys don’t, a woman will stay with you forever… because she knows unusual it is to find a guy like this.

2. Be Passionate, Not Obsessive

There’s a big difference, David Shade says, between being passionate and obsessive, and luckily for you most guys have no idea what that is… If you look at a woman and think, “I must have sex with her” you are actually GIVING UP YOUR POWER before you even meet!

This “adolescent” attitude actually scares women away… and I recommend you make a conscious effort to avoid it.  David Shade recommends a far different—and far more effective—approach. When you see an attractive woman you’d like to meet, instead of thinking about what she can do for you, start thinking about the fact that you know how to make her feel incredibly good… and how CRAZY she would be to pass up this opportunity.

David Shade tells David DeAngelo that you must KNOW that YOU can give her more pleasure that any other man can… and probably more than she could even handle.  When you believe that YOU have the power, you can help a woman explore her own sexuality in ways she didn’t even know existed.

Women will instantly pick up on this powerful attitude, and it will come across in everything you do.

3. Know What She Wants

David Shade shared some fantastic information on the 4 things a woman needs to feel in a relationship in order to be satisfied.

1. She needs to feel appreciated for the unique individual she is… and that her man supports her in all she does

2. She needs to feel a deep, emotional, intimate connection

3. She needs to feel like a sexy, beautiful, feminine woman

4. She needs hot, passionate sex… which includes being seduced, teased and satisfied over and over again… and exploring new roles and fantasies.

Give her these four things and she’ll be yours for as long as you like.

4. Be Supportive Without Being Needy

It’s ok to let a woman know how much you appreciate her, so long as you don’t come from a position of NEEDINESS.  Needy guys (David Deangelo calls them Wussies) pour it on too thick.  They put women on pedestals.  And, as you know… nothing drives a woman away faster.  A woman wants to be with a man who is strong, has his own life, and doesn’t NEED her.

If you come from a position of STRENGTH, compliments and appreciation will light up a woman’s life… because you will be giving them in a way that makes her feel MORE attracted to you.  So remember… she wants to be APPRECIATED… but not NEEDED.

5. Get Her Aroused Over The Phone

Listen up – David Shade shared an amazing strategy he uses to drive women wild OVER THE PHONE. Here’s how he does it:

1. He gets into a deep conversation about relationships and emotions, which gets a woman in a highly emotional state

2. He then asks her about what she wants to feel in a relationship… which gets her even more involved

3. He then talks about being alone… he asks he if she feels alone and explains to her how he feels the same way

4. He then asks her to think about how it would feel to be the OPPOSITE of alone… and tells her how he wishes he was holding her close right then and there

5. He then describes in intimate detail exactly what he would do if they were together…

And the rest is history.  The best thing about getting a woman turned on over the phone is that it gets her to imagine the two of you being intimate before it actually happens…

This paves the way for the REAL intimacy later on, according to David Shade.  When she sees you in person afterwards, there’s only ONE thing she’ll be able to think about… don’t be surprised if she wants to skip the “date” part of your date and head straight to the bedroom. I’m serious here… this will be the case more often than not.

Listen to this section of the interview a few times until you have it down… then give it a shot next time you are talking with a woman who is receptive towards you.  Take it slow and easy… and you just might be surprised at how well it works.

6. Try New Ways Of Giving Her Pleasure

David Shade says women love VARIETY in the bedroom.  And one of the biggest complaints women have about men is that they do the “same old” every time.  Most men have a sexual “routine” they are used to. They are comfortable using a certain set of moves and steps because it’s the same thing they have always done and it seems to work for them.

If you’re REALLY looking to please a woman over and over again, the “same old routine” has got to go.  Repeating the same moves in the same order night after night might work fine for YOU, but remember… women are “wired” differently… and they need different kinds of experiences to continue to be turned on and excited.

Fortunately for us women prefer to have these different kinds of experiences with THE SAME GUY… but if you don’t give them to her, she very well may look elsewhere.  On the other hand, if you do keep things exciting in the bedroom by mixing it up so she never knows what to expect, chances are she’ll NEVER leave… because you’ll be EXACTLY what she’s looking for.

So be sure to ALWAYS be unpredictable in the bedroom.  Don’t be afraid to experiment and try out new things. I’m sure you can think of a few…

7. Learn Some New Moves

An easy way to give a woman the sexual variety she wants is to learn some great techniques… especially some that she has never seen before.  In our interview David Shade shared some VERY interesting physical techniques he uses to drive a woman wild, and I highly recommend you try them out.

Make sure you listen to the later part of our interview a few times, and take some notes. There’s some great stuff in there that isn’t published anywhere else.  That doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t get your hands on other material that out there and study it for all it’s worth. Walk into any bookstore and you’ll find a TON of great books on how to please women… many with their own unique spin.  The small time investment you make will have HUGE rewards… of the best kind!  Fortunately for us, not many men take the time to actually do this… so those who DO have a massive advantage.

Women love it when you pull a new trick out… and when you have an ARSENAL of moves at your disposal… that you can pull out night after night to give her a brand new exciting experience.

8. Guide Her Through The Experience

Women want a leader INSIDE of the bedroom just as much as they want one outside of the bedroom.  Simply put: If you’re letting her do all of the work—or even a quarter of it—you’re doing something wrong.  As a man, you need to take charge when you’re between the sheets.

Don’t be afraid to put her into different positions, stand her up to kiss her then lay her back down, or start and stop the action (remember… 2 steps forward, 1 step back!).  David Shade made the important point that you also need to guide her through the experience with your VOICE.

Accfording to David Shade, men must remember… women like to be stimulated differently than us men… and when you talk to her in a soothing and sexual way it increases her pleasure more than you could ever imagine.  Here are a few great examples David Shade shared that you can start using right away:

• Encourage Her To RELAX – Telling a woman to relax and feel totally comfortable while you are giving her pleasure will cause her to enjoy her experience with you a whole lot more.  This tells her that you are in control and you care about her needs… and lets her know that she can just kick back and enjoy the ride.

• Talk About What She’s Feeling – Say things like, “That feels good, doesn’t it?”, and “I know you like that right there” to bring the experience alive in her mind and add the powerful element of verbal stimulation to your physical actions.  David Shade stresses that this is a HUGE turn on to women.

• Encourage Her Orgasms – When you feel she’s close to having an orgasm, encourage her along.  This will often be the thing that puts her over the edge.

Approaching Women the Wygant Way

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(Above: David Wygant)

David Deangelo recently interviewed famous dating coach David Wygant.  David W, a divorced man, in his thirties, had no desire to once again start hitting the bars and clubs to find a date.  Therefore David Wygant started honing other pick up skills, and soon discovered he had a knack for meeting women in other places and later, discovered he could teach other men his dating tips and pick up techniques – in other words – how to do what he did.

David Wygant tells the listeners a story about what he does to flirt with women.  On a whim, David took a couple of his friends into the local grocery.  His friends picked out a (hopefully) single woman in the store, and told him to go get her number.  And he did!  He walked up to her and started talking about cereal, and David Wygant managed to turn the conversation to sex (from CEREAL) and picked up the girl, just like that.

“So where do you start when you are coaching a man?” David Deangelo wants to know.  First, David Wygant will actually travel to his customer’s home to learn how that person acts in their own familiar setting.  He wants to understand how they present themselves so that he can give them great conversational dating tips and advice directed specifically at them.  Next, he has the man approach a woman and observes body language, the conversation, how the man reacts to the woman, observation what cues he gives her, how he closes, how they dress and so much more.

David Deangelo asks next, “How does someone take their own personal inventory to do this kind of thing at home?”  David Wygant recommends figuring out your greatest assets, first.  This creates what he calls a “home field advantage”.  What are you passionate about?  What do you love to do?  The examples he gives are someone who loves photography, loves food and wine, cars, etc.  You can eliminate cars, because most women are not going to care about cars.  But let’s take the food and wine – start going to cooking seminars, wine tasting and breweries.  Use food and wine to meet women, if you see a woman drinking a glass of wine, go up to her and talk to her about it, use it to get your foot in the door.  Women are looking for a confident, passionate, secure man.  Communicating your passion to a woman communicates these things to her directly.

Another great dating tip David W. gives David Deangelo is to spend a minute every day, like 5  to 10 times a day, flirting with women even if you are not attracted to them.

Here are some great pick up lines:

At the gym:  “May I work with you?”  “Working out can be a little monotonous, let’s have some fun!  You do my weights and I’ll do yours”.  So make fun of the 10 pounds she is doing on the bench press machine, struggle and make a face like you can’t do it.  Then when it’s her turn, only put like 20 pounds on the machine and when she does, tell her she won a personal training session with you.

On the street:  “Excuse me, do you know where a coffee shop is?”  (Even if you are standing in front of it.)  Ask if it’s her favorite, why is that her favorite, etc, listening to her responses and asking questions accordingly.

In a bar:  David Wygant says Strike fast and early!  Ask them out before 10pm so that every guy that hits on them later gets compared to you.  Walk over to her.  “Are your friends doing the same things my friends are doing?  Making you wait?”  Then the conversation starts…ask her questions, listen and respond.  Then look at your phone like you got a text message.  “Oh!  My friend’s in the dining room, I have to go.  I would love to have dinner with you some night, what’s your number?”

Book Store:  Friday and Saturday nights are great for meeting women in book stores.  This is where the great women go to hide from the dorks at the bar.  Walk the aisles, pick the woman you want to approach and observe her.  See what books she is looking at to see her interests.  David Wygant says to walk over to her and “break her space” by saying “Excuse me” and reaching across her to get a book right in front of her.  The look at her book and say, “Oh, (read the title) – great – is that a (whatever type of section you are in) book?” and then she will start talking about the book.  Then ask her, “Oh cool, are you into (whatever it is)?”  Get her talking and you listening and ask questions based on what she has to say.

In a clothing store: “Excuse me, can I help you?….Let me give you my opinion on those jeans/that dress/etc.”  Then when you tell them you don’t work there, they think it’s hysterical.

Yoga Class:  A great place to meet women!  Get there early.  Pick the one you are attracted to and put your mat down next to her.  Tell her, “Look, I am really not good at this, so please don’t laugh at me”.  So then, you leave her alone.  Go through the class.  When it is over, tell her, “That was a great class, I really enjoyed it.”  Then she will more than likely tell you how great you were, and you can take the conversation from there, telling her how hard you try, etc.

These are just a few of the great dating tips that David Deangelo gets from his interview series guest, David Wygant.  There are so many more dating tips out there, but the best thing that any man can do to increase his pick up rate with women is to listen when they talk and ask questions.  Don’t ask “Do you like to do this?”  Ask her “Why do you like to do this?”  Project your passions, which will in turn, create attraction, and build upon them and appear, over all, confident and sure of yourself when approaching any woman.

P.S. Since the interview that DW did with David DeAngelo – he has developed this AMAZING program that you have just GOT to hear.  He has gone into the mind of WOMEN – interviewing women on every topic from sex to flirting, pick up lines and everything in between – to get them to tell us what REALLY WORKS.

Dealing With Tests from Women!

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by David Deangelo

***DATING QUESTION FROM A READER***

Hi David,

I attended your dating advice seminar in LA and it was a real eye opener for me. I’ve listened to the advanced CD series 2 times since then and each time I’m learning something new. I’ve noticed that the trick is to go out and gain experience meeting more women and then come back and listen to more tips on the CDs again and you’ll be surprised how much more you’re picking up. After attending your seminar I’m now able to start a conversation with a woman in a bookshop and get her to follow me from there to another location to have coffee\tea etc, and I’m now able to this on a CONSISTENT basis, something I didn’t think was possible before.

My question to you is regarding and Answering (or not answering) questions from women. I now understand that if you directly answer ‘qualifying’ questions from a single woman then you’re accepting her qualifying frame, which is VERY bad for attraction. But how about questions that seem like she’s genuinely trying to get to know you better? But I need some advice on how to handle it when a woman says, “You never answer my questions…” and then goes on and on about it? I’ve had this kind of situation many times, I know it’s a sh**-test but I haven’t found an effective way of dealing with it yet.

For an example of this kind of test please read the chat below which is an excerpt from an online chat I had recently. I met her online but we’ve spoken on the phone several times, she lives in a different country from me so we haven’t been able to meet yet, but plan to do so soon. Not so much for this particular girl but I would like to know how to deal with this kind of situation with any single girls in future. Tell me what you think, and if I handled her questions (and accusations) properly and what I could have done better. With thanks.

Your loyal student. G. (London, England)

>>>David Deangelo’s COMMENTS:

Great job!

It’s good hearing from you, “G”. I remember you very clearly from the LA seminar… and I remember the breakthrough you had.  Congratulations on getting to the next level.  It’s exciting to hear that you can now go out to a bookstore and get a woman to join you for tea on the spot on a consistent basis. Nice!

On to your questions…

First of all, let’s talk about the whole concept of “testing”, and why women do it (and, more importantly, how to deal with it when it happens).

In a nutshell, “testing” is a woman’s way of QUICKLY finding out a lot of information with a very small investment.  You must remember that beautiful single women are being approached ALL THE TIME in one way or another… just about every man they meet tries to pick them up or come on to them.  Women can FEEL this happening, even before it actually starts.

Now, if a woman is “available”, she must figure out a way to “separate the men from the boys” so to speak, and figure out if a single guy is going to be worth her time.

Enter the TEST.

Also, if an attractive woman is out on a date with a man, or having a phone conversation, etc.  (or anything else that could be perceived as taking things to the next level) she must find out quickly whether this particular guy is:

1. Long-term relationship material

2. Short-term “affair” material

3. Friend material

4. Wuss material

5. The Gimp from Pulp Fiction

Keep in mind, a beautiful woman has LOTS of options. She’s being approached probably 100+ times a month with date offers, etc. and could never hope to spend even a small fraction of her time with all the men who are interested in her.  She must use TESTS to quickly cut to the chase and find out what a particular guy is REALLY all about.  Tests can take many forms.

Here are a few common ones:

1. Canceling plans with little notice, or flaking out entirely without notice

2. Asking for gifts or favors outright

3. Acting snotty, demanding, dramatic, or manipulative to see if you’ll put up with it

4. Asking or telling you to change your behavior

5. Threatening to leave or take her attention and give it to someone else if you don’t comply with her wishes

…and the list goes on.  As you already know, women often use more SUBTLE tests as well.  For instance, complaining that you don’t answer her directly, to see if you will.  Or telling you that what you’re doing is annoying to her.

In your email, you wrote…

“But how about questions that seem like she’s genuinely trying to get to know you better? Also how do handle it when a woman says, “You never answer my questions…” and then goes on and on about it? I’ve had this kind of situation many times, I know it’s a sh**-test but I haven’t found an effective way of dealing with it yet.”

…well, the good news for you is that you know a guy who has had this happen A LOT more times to him… and that person is ME!  And the “effective” way to deal with it is to keep doing exactly what you’re doing.  The “problem” here is how you’re interpreting the situation.

My guess is that all of the problems you’re having around this issue come from the fact that you “see” it as a problem… not because there actually IS a problem.  Here’s a little chunk of the dialogue that you included with your email…

Her: I really love fooling around and chatting around…. but I don’t like it if I never get answers to just normal not indiscreet questions.  Me: Indiscreet… hmmm. Ask whatever questions you want.  Me: you’ll get to know me as it goes.  Her: I already did…. and I don’t have a list to write that down…. I just noticed that… last time when you called me on the phone… and today, too…… every time I ask something about your past I get a slapstick answer

Me: don’t mind me that’s how I talk. I’m playful but we’ll get to know each other as we go along.  Me: it’s a natural process.  Me: you can’t force it

…OK.

The way I read this, you GAVE IN when she started complaining and said, “…don’t mind me that’s how I talk…”.  You basically said, “Don’t mind me, I’m actually kind of a Wuss, and that’s how I talk”.  Are you with me here?  You didn’t need to EXPLAIN yourself, or make an excuse for yourself.

What I’m trying to say is that YOU are the problem here, not the women who complain about you not answering their questions.  Try this instead:

Her: I already did…. and I don’t have a list to write that down…. I just noticed that… last

time when you called me on the phone… and today, too…… every time I ask something about your past I get a slapstick answer

Me: I’m glad you like it. Maybe that’s why you keep messaging me and thinking about me so much!

…see the difference here?

If a woman complains because you’re being difficult, LAUGH. Pretend you’re a bad little boy on the school playground, and you just pulled her hair… and she’s upset with you…   What would the little boy do?  He’d laugh… and then snap her bra!  Keep things fun. Don’t let her change your direction or upset your mood.

There’s ALWAYS a better way to do things.

For example…

Let’s say you’ve decided that the woman you’re talking to is really starting to get annoyed, and you want to give her a little chunk of info.  Instead of saying, “Don’t mind me”, say, “OK, I’m a single guy, 27 years old, I work for an accounting firm, I pay my own rent, I wear socks that match, and I love my mom… is that better? How boring is that?”

In other words, TELL HER what she wants to know, but say it in a sarcastic way that also says “Fine, you’re boring and since you can’t think of anything fun to talk about, I’ll answer you…Brat”.

Keep in mind… this whole style of communication is VERY different from what most

guys do… and it’s often surprising to a woman. When she kicks and screams a bit, it’s usually because she’s genuinely surprised. But don’t mistake her whining for REAL resistance.

If she actually gets upset and doesn’t want to talk to you anymore just because you didn’t answer her questions, and instead busted her balls a bit, then let her go. You learned something VERY valuable, and you didn’t even have to marry her to learn it.

Also, when a woman starts resisting your evasive and humorous comments…

…LAUGH!

Have fun.

You need to learn to enjoy yourself during this process. It sounds to me like you’re letting this stuff get to you… which is NOT useful.   By the way… there was something you said to this girl that I absolutely LOVED…

Her: are you dating somebody right now?  [deleted comment that was out of sync]

Me: is this a marriage proposal… you’ve got to be rich though    …this is great!

She asks if you’re dating someone, and you ask her if she’s proposing! And then you said “You’ve got to be rich, though”.  Now THAT’S the right way to answer a question

like that one.  Nice!

To finish, I’m going to do something a little bit unconventional, and include another email that I just received from a guy in Australia (He has the same first initial as you… I wonder if there’s a relation…).

Read this:

“You ROCK, since I am new to your publication I am unsure if you get much mail from Australia.

What a difference a week makes. Last Saturday I had a date with a great young lady. Smart, sexy, beautiful etc. Well the 1st date didn’t go to badly, some passionate kissing and fun, but when it came time to try to take her top off, the answer was a firm NO. That is where the night ended. Mustn’t have been too bad cause I got a follow up date the next Friday, but I also got the cold(ish) shoulder. What she didn’t know is I got your book on Wednesday. Wow, what a difference. I realized she was lining me up for the hoop  jumping as a potential “long term relationship” and sex was at least three dates away-way too far.

She was playing games, but your book came to the rescue. When i phoned her to make the date, she said “I will PENCIL you in”. Well in my old ways I would have said “Yeah sure”, but there is a new Greg with Double Your Dating Power. When she tried the line I came back with “Well let me know. I am a busy man, if you can’t make it, I need to know-NOW.”

When I picked her up, she kissed me on the cheek (after playing tonsil hockey the week before, was a little strange). So I put your strategies into play.  I didn’t touch her for 4 hours, didn’t hit on her, didn’t look at her, was very standoffish. Went out of my way to point out her strange behavior. At one stage I called her “A walking contradiction”.  When she went down the “But it will change our friendship if we take this further (read long term relationship) path-I said “That’s fine, I just want to have a little FUN.”

When I finally did kiss her she melted. Only for me to stop after about 45 seconds. I then didn’t touch her again for about 1/2 an hour. She finally took her own top off (I couldn’t budge it 6 days before) and then she said “I will make you a deal, if I take a piece of clothing off, then you must take one off as well. She was chasing me!!!!

Well we undresses and had a great time for about three hours. Afterwards, she invited me out! Love your stuff. Must go and re-read your wonderful words again. I can’t wait to get the DVD’s.

Regards,   G.

PS So if any of you want to come over here, know it works and works really well. And there are plenty of great looking women. G.”

>>>David Deangelo’s COMMENTS:

…OK, so I included this story because I wanted to demonstrate a different aspect of

testing, and of “passing” this kind of testing with FLYING colors.  Often, a woman will test you by RESISTING you, or by telling you that “things are moving too fast” or even by asking you what your intentions are with her long term (when you’ve only known her

a short while, and have no intentions of any kind).

What this gentleman above did was to SEE her bet, and then RAISE her.  He called her bluff, basically.

WOMEN LOVE THIS!

It INSTANTLY shifts the power from one side to the other, and totally changes the situation around.

Points I’d like to comment on:

1) The first time you saw her, you kissed. When you tried to take off her top, the answer was a “firm NO”.

>>>The reason why the answer was a “firm NO” was because you gave her something to resist. Instead of amplifying the ATTRACTION in the situation, and building the ANTICIPATION, you just went for it.  Next time, you’ll know better.

2) The second time you saw her, you didn’t do anything that even LIGHTLY indicated that you were interested in her.

>>>Great job! This is perfect. Most guys can’t go four MINUTES without screwing things up by trying to kiss a woman, asking her how she’s feeling, trying to make a girl smile, or doing some other Wuss Bag thing that blows everything. You were able to stay cool and calm for FOUR HOURS… and allow the tension to build.  I guarantee you that she was wondering what the hell was going on.

3) When you finally did kiss her, you STOPPED after 45 seconds… then didn’t do anything else for a half hour.

>>>Again, great move. Perfect. It doesn’t surprise me at ALL that she took her own top off, then told you that you had to take something off as well.  This is what happens when you understand the process by which women test… and the process by which women become sexually aroused.

…thanks for the email.

Now, in this newsletter I’ve focused on the topic of TESTING. I’ve also discussed amplifying attraction, and eliminating resistance from women.  The reason that these two guys who wrote in are doing so well right now is because they understand something that most guys DON’T understand.

They “get it”.

And, like most of the people I’ve met in life who are trying to be the best they can be, they’re always looking to improve. They’re continuing to educate themselves, even though they have a level of success that most men would envy.

It took me about three or four YEARS to finally “get it”, and to have total confidence that I could go out anywhere, anytime, and meet women.  That was partly because I couldn’t find any good models to learn from… and partly because I had to “unlearn” a lot of bad programming I had obtained along the way.

The reason I wrote my original eBook “Double Your Dating” was because I wanted to be able to help other guys out there to understand how to be successful with women and dating… without having to go through all the hassles and wasted time that I had to deal with.

Deserve What You Want

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By Scot McKay

Let’s talk about someone who deserves to be covered in WAY more detail than I’ve ever shared before.

It’s clearly time to do so, because I’m getting more and more e-mails from guys who are going on dates with her–often leading to long-term relationships with her.

I’m referring, of course, to the infamous “double-standard chick”.

On the surface, she’s probably beautiful, intelligent and possibly even fun to be with.

But after only a short time of hanging out with her, you start to realize that something doesn’t feel right.

Essentially, you feel like she’s got rights and privileges that you aren’t free to reserve for yourself.

Worse, you feel as if you’d be either selfish or flat-out ridiculous were you to make an issue of it in any way.

For example, she is disappointed, hurt or even straight-up angry when you even so much as glance at another woman at the mall. Whether you actually did so or not is unimportant. She believes you did, so you’d better stop it.

Meanwhile, she has quite a number of guys in her life who are “just really, really, really good friends”. When they show up, they hug her, banter with her and behave in a manner that you are all but sure is flirting.

And sure enough, she hits them on the shoulder and giggles in return.

Sometimes, she even hangs out with them…as in on a “1-on-1 basis”. They get sushi. Study together. Get a few drinks.

And sometimes she sort of gets too tired to drive home, so she crashes at his place…on the couch, of course.

That’s all okay, though, because he’s “like a big brother” to her.

Do you say anything when this goes on?

Probably not. After all, that would make you appear insecure. You’d look like you were threatened.

And that’s not very masculine. You’ve been taught that being “needy” is a bad idea, it is NOT  a trait of the Alpha Male. So you back off.

But the fact remains that you know if you were to hang out with other women like that, she WOULDN’T put up with it.

So how does she get away with this?

Simply put, she’s got a DOUBLE-STANDARD working.

And YOU, my good man, have BOUGHT INTO it.

The programming goes something like this:

Step One: Believe all men are dogs, only want one thing, and therefore are untrustworthy.

Step Two: Believe that women, on the other hand, are the ones who are universally committed to faithful relationships and monogamy. All they want is “Mr. Right”.

Step Three: Women are givers of life and nurturers, whereas men are the ones responsible for wars and strife. So if there’s a problem, it’s the guy’s fault…

Step Four: …and WHEN there’s a problem, the guy’s response is expected to be one of aggression and oppression toward the more passive woman, who is in danger of being physically and/or emotionally abused at any given moment.

So the end result of such programming is that a woman considers herself inherently trustworthy. She knows SHE wouldn’t cheat or anything.

Meanwhile, however, since you are a guy, what are understood to be YOUR “inherent” traits must be kept under lock and key.

“But wait a second,” you ask, “all I really want is a great girlfriend. And even if I am dating more than one woman, I’m honest and respectful about it. And hey, it’s not like I’ve started any wars lately. I’ve never even been in a fistfight.”

“Besides,” you say, “every time I’ve ever seen an episode of ‘Cheaters’ there’s as many women on there running around as men.”

Indeed.

So how did this happen?

Moreover, how is it that we as guys can watch ourselves getting “owned” right before our very eyes, yet we feel much more comfortable pretending it “isn’t what it looks like” rather than standing up to the “double-standard”?

And why do we feel compelled to tell her to “have fun” with a wave and a smile when she goes out with her friends to a bar or club-looking hotter than we’ve seen her in weeks-when we’re loaded down with guilt if we go to the sports bar on a Saturday afternoon to watch the game and have a beer or two with the guys?

Here it is: You’ve ALLOWED YOURSELF to take on the archetypal guilt of every other guy before you who allegedly acted like an I/J (Idiot/Jerk).

In other words, you believe women are the “oppressed” race, and that you are part of the social group who is historically responsible for the “oppression”.

So you walk on eggshells.

After all, you most certainly want to be part of the solution rather than the problem.

You want to correct millennia of errant behavior on the part of men everywhere-all the way from dragging women into the cave by their hair to paying them less per hour compared to men for the same type of work.

You might even subconsciously feel it’s incumbent upon you to make “restitution”, as preposterous as that sounds when printed in black and white.

And “Double-Standard Chick”? She’s more than happy to allow you to take that on.

In fact, even years into a long-term relationship when guys are getting nagged a lot, it’s often because of unresolved “double-standard” issues.

Well, either that or she’s doing all the housework.

So let’s talk some sense here for a second.

First of all, consider that there are quite a few women who are reading this newsletter. They’re definitely out there, and they read because they like hearing what I tell you guys about how to be a great man – how to be the masculine Alpha Male she is looking for.

But some have taken the bait regarding the concept I’m talking about here also. In fact, in many cases it’s hook, line and sinker.

So I’ll likely get a smattering of angry e-mails from a few of them.

They’ll write me and accuse me of being negative toward women simply because I’m attempting to debunk the “double-standard”.

The truth, however, is that I’m exhorting a more positive representation of one another by BOTH MEN AND WOMEN.

Know this, gentlemen: Not EVERY woman subscribes to the “double-standard”.

Some believe that great men of character-like you-exist. They’d rather avoid negative influences in their life, think the best of a great man who comes along, and focus on having a healthy relationship.

This means that if you are indeed that “Big Four” guy (an Alpha Male) (masculine, confident, ability to inspire safety/security, high-character) you should EXPECT that such a woman will respond positively to you.

After all, you will share mutual respect and have each other’s best interests at heart.

Sound too good to be true?

If so, your reality needs an overhaul.

When you BUY IN to the “all male behavior is bad behavior” concept, you begin very quickly to feel actual, raw SHAME over simply being male.

This is particularly messed up because WOMEN LOVE MEN.

So even as you begin to “camouflage” your masculinity out of shame for all the “bad stuff” men have done to women over the years, you become LESS ATTRACTIVE.

And “Double-Standard Chick”?

She simply becomes even more annoyed by you, leading to what? You guessed it…a greater feeling of freedom towards treating you with disrespect.

A caveat here.

“Double-Standard Chick” may indeed be quite a gifted manipulator. But then again, she may be a perfectly well-meaning woman who happens to have been subject to the SAME faulty programming as YOU.

So the ultimate irony? Even those women who are beholden to the “double-standard” aren’t always particularly thrilled about it.

If you think about it, that makes the whole thing even more messed-up than previously thought.

Whoa. So what does all this mean?

It means that you DO have the right to consider yourself a REAL MAN and not the living perpetuation of “caveman culture”.

Therefore, it ALSO means that you need not passively endure the “double standard”.

ULTIMATELY, it means that YOU must LEAD. You must be the Alpha Man and stand up, speak on behalf of mutual respect-by name-and announce that your intention is to respect women and enjoy the company of those who respect you in return.

And if that’s not part of her plan, you wish her well.

Sound almost too easy?

Perhaps.

But the key here is to remember, as I alluded to, that some women who live by the “double-standard” are actually disgusted by it nonetheless.

Seriously. You should see the e-mails from women we get who expect the worst of guys, only to get annoyed when they act “nice” thinking it’s simply an indicator of a more covert form of “bad behavior”.

Usually, the guys they write about were tiptoeing around trying not to hurt the woman’s feelings…not wanting to be the “oppressor”.

Not always, of course, but usually.

Now listen, I’m not about to make some Pollyannaish assertion that everyone on Earth is an angel.

I fully get that there are indeed bona-fide I/Js out there. And by the way, guys, they’re giving great men like you a BAD NAME.

And similarly, there are women who mean well and those who do not.

No matter whether you are a man or a woman, you must DESERVE WHAT YOU WANT

If you want to be respected; if you want someone of high character in your life, then you MUST kill the “double-standard” programming and expect the best from MOTOS (Members Of The Opposite Sex).

Do you refuse to “settle” and choose to deserve what you want instead? If so, you’ll enjoy Scot McKay’s refreshing approach to dating and seduction, yours to discover at:

Deserve What You Want

Stop by right now and Scot will personally send you a FREE 8-part mini-course ($47 value) when you sign up for the X & Y Communications Newsletter, which is always packed with unique and practical dating tips.

Deserve What You Want