YouCanGetTheGirl.com

On Being a Man

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Masculinity and Attraction Tips for Guys

5 Ways To Lose A Girl FAST – Things That Tell Her Your Masculinity is Is Non-Existent!

Now THIS sounds like an interesting topic, doesn’t it? Why would you want to know how to LOSE a girl? Well, I’m going to propose a DANGEROUS IDEA.

I’m going to suggest that you are probably already an EXPERT in LOSING a girl. You might even be a “natural” at it. Most guys are.

But the PROBLEM is that most guys don’t UNDERSTAND why they’re so good at LOSING women.

In other words, they walk through the world screwing up one situation after another, and never realize JUST HOW GOOD they are at being BAD with women. And they don’t realize that just by changing a few key things they could change their level of success DRAMATICALLY.

One great way to increase your success in life is to start REALIZING what you’re doing. Once you actually understand what you’re doing and the results you’re triggering, you can CHANGE. So open your mind. Listen up.

TYPICAL THINGS MEN DO

As you’ve probably heard me say about a million times, MEN ARE PREDICTABLE. In fact, we’re PAINFULLY predictable. We all do basically the same things when we get into common situations with women…and we don’t even realize it.

I call this the “Originality Paradox.”

In our desire to be “original” and “unique,” we guys tend to do the SAME THINGS! Said differently, while you’re doing something that seems thoughtful and original, the attractive woman on the other end is thinking, “He’s just like all the other guys.”

Ouch.

So why is being predictable so bad?

Look at this formula:

Predictable = BORING.

Boring = NO EMOTIONS.

No Emotions = NO ATTRACTION.

No Attraction = NO GETTIN’ SHIZZY WITH THA NIZZY!

One of the VERY BEST ways to lose a girl is to be PREDICTABLE. Another huge mistake men make is GIVING AWAY OUR POWER to women.

I’m not going to go into it, but the reality is that women are NOT attracted to WEAK men. And I’m not talking about muscles here.

Here are a few examples of how we guys act PREDICTABLE, give away our power, and make about 147 other huge mistakes with women we’ve just met:

1) Call Her All The Time

If you like someone, it’s logical that you’re going to want to let them know, right?

Well, only if you like the idea of coming across like a total Jack-Wuss. I just made that up, by the way. Combination of Jackass and Wuss. Not sure if I like it, but I’m going to go with it.

Where was I? Yeah, calling her all the time. Calling all the time is usually triggered by INSECURITY and NEEDINESS. It sounds like a good idea, but it almost NEVER is.

This is a great way to lose a girl before you even have her. We might even call this one “Have Prevention.”

2) Offer To Take Her Somewhere “Nice”

What do most guys do when they meet a girl that they “really” like? Well, they call her up, and they get into a boring conversation about schools and families and jobs and 100 other painfully boring things…and when they finally realize that they’ve been on the phone for an hour, they realize that they’d better do SOMETHING soon…because she’s starting to talk about having to go wash her dog….

So what do they do?

They think to themselves, “Self, you’d better get up some nerve and ask her out. Hey! Self! I have a GREAT idea. Ask her to go out with you to a REALLY NICE place. She’ll be far more likely to want to do that, and besides, then she’ll know that you REALLY like her….”

And what does this REALLY communicate? Right, right. That you have the confidence to just ask her to spend time with you for NO REASON other than the fact that you want to…and that you must not be WORTH spending time with – without some kind of “meal incentive.”

Meal Incentive… lol… I crack myself up.

Well, this is one more example of something that “sounds good” in the moment, but is BAD BAD BAD for business.

3) Do “Thoughtful” Things From The Beginning

What’s better than a nice, thoughtful guy showing up at the door with flowers and candy for the first date? Well, to quote an old Saturday Night Live episode, “Throwing an entire box of thumb tacks on the floor, and rolling around in them naked.”

Or maybe taking one of those…you know…SERRATED KNIVES…yeah, that’s it…and putting it between your big toe and second toe and slicing back and forth really fast…and then pouring… you know…HOT SAUCE…yeah, that’s it…on the wound!

I hate it when that happens! But we men do this kind of thing all the time…because it sure sounds good in the moment.

By the way, don’t try the thumb tack thing or the hot sauce thing UNLESS you’re considering purchasing flowers and candy to bring to a first date. In that case, please take these measures to prevent yourself from acting on the uncontrollable urges.

If you come on too strong, you appear just like every other predictable Wussboy who has ever tried to make himself look better by giving gifts and food and favors in exchange for attention and approval.

4) Tell Her How You “Feel” About Her Early On

This might be one of my favorites.

I’m starting to think that we guys must come stock with a mechanism that actually compels us to open our BIG FAT MOUTHS and screw things up with only the BEST women.

I’ll call this the “Feeling Confessor” mechanism. It is triggered by strong feelings of attraction and emotion toward an unusually attractive woman.

I’ve talked to A LOT of attractive women in my life. And they all have one similar experience to share…

For some UNKNOWN and UNGODLY reason, men just seem to LOVE telling SUPER HOT women how they FEEL within the first couple of dates. As you might realize, I get a lot of emails from guys… And one of the common emails I get goes a little something like this:

“David, I met this unbelievably hot girl…she’s smart, interesting, successful…everything seemed to be going well…so I decided to tell her how I felt…and for some reason she said that she needs some “space” and some “time to be alone”…I don’t get it….”

Again, when you do this you’re making all kinds of huge mistakes…and basically doing everything you can do to LOSE her.

5) Keep Telling Her How You Feel When She Needs Space

And as if the last example wasn’t painful enough, most guys usually like to use this final “nail in the coffin” technique as well…

Here’s the situation:

You’ve met a girl you really like. Maybe you’ve gone out with her a few times. Doesn’t matter. You do all the things you can think of to SCREW IT UP, and you finally succeed. You prove to her that you just don’t get it and you don’t know how to handle a woman like her. So she says, “I need some space” or “I need some time to myself.”

And what do most guys do? Of course. They KEEP telling her how they feel. And they do it in 100 annoying ways. The thought that most guys have is, “If she only understood how I REALLY FELT ABOUT HER, then she would LOVE ME.”

It’s painful just typing the words.

So there you have it. Part of the magic formula for losing a girl fast. Interesting, isn’t it? But there’s a much DEEPER message here.

The message is this:

If you don’t understand the process of how to make women feel ATTRACTION for you, including the things to AVOID doing, then you’re not going to have success. Not knowing the rules of a game makes it very difficult (or impossible) to win.

And, unfortunately, we guys have a HUGE disadvantage when it comes to women and dating… We have emotional responses to situations that take over our “thinking,” and makes us do all the wrong things.

We usually sabotage OURSELVES.

Well, the good news is that it does NOT have to be this way. There is a BETTER way. If you found this particular discussion interesting, then you’re probably ready to learn the DEEPER secrets of how to be more successful with women and dating.

If you’re ready to STOP losing women faster than you can meet them, then it’s probably time for you to step up and get yourself an education about how to attract women and KEEP them attracted.

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Copyright 2008 David DeAngelo Marketing Inc. David DeAngelo and Double Your Dating are trademarks.

The DAVID DEANGELO MAILBAG!

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David Deangelo has a killer free newsletter series for guys to read where he really answers some tough dating questions from single men just like you. I am working on getting a great archive going of those newsletters and emails, so we can all share in the free dating advice given by master dating guru David Deangelo himself! In the David Deangelo Mailbag, you will find all kinds of dating tips for men on any subject you could want. He covers all kinds of dating advice, from how to approach women, using Cocky Comedy, Meeting Women Online, pick up lines and how to act like an alpha male as well as anything else you would expect from Double Your Dating.

Check out each letter individually, or start with newsletter 1 by David Deangelo himself on using Cocky Comedy techniques. Or – you can read the most popular newsletter David D has ever written below…

Double Your Dating

 

“The Dark Side of Dating”

Over the past few years, since I published my book “Double Your Dating”… and since I’ve had some “commercial” success… I’ve been hearing more and more stories from my female

friends… and these stories are starting to alarm me.

 

To explain where I’m coming from, let me start with a story.

 

When I first made the decision to actually LEARN how to become more successful with women, I went out and did some serious research.

 

I’m talking “book style” research here.

 

I went to the library, searched online, went to live seminars, met dating “gurus”… and generally tried to figure out if anyone

ELSE had spent the time to figure this stuff out.

 

What I found was a “mixed bag” at best.

 

Some of the materials that I found sounded good, some of the stuff sounded completely ridiculous, and some sounded like it was ethically sketchy and manipulative.

 

Now, I’m an experimenter. I’ll try just about anything once.

 

And I did try ANYTHING.

 

One of the “mindsets” that I came across was something that sounded VERY interesting to me at the time.

 

It was the idea that a guy could make a woman feel attraction and other sexual feelings for him by saying things that contained “hidden messages”… things that the woman would not CONSCIOUSLY realize she was hearing… but that would have the “desired effect” anyway.

 

On its face, this sounded rather manipulative, but the rationale was that it was just “tapping into emotions that already existed”

inside of the woman… so it was “all good”.

 

So I tried some of this stuff.

 

Like I said, I’ll try anything.

 

My own experience was that this material very rarely worked. And it was never CONSISTENT for me.

 

Ultimately, I wound up feeling like this stuff just wasn’t an ethical fit for me. It was a little “over the edge” of being dishonest.

 

Everyone has their own sense of right and wrong, and after trying these things, I found that they didn’t work for me… in the sense that I didn’t like myself more after doing or saying them… and they didn’t FEEL right.

 

It’s funny, because now that I teach men how to meet women, I get questions all the time that start with things like “I don’t want to use the things you teach because I don’t want to be MANIPULATIVE with women”.

 

Ironic, really. Mostly because I think of the things I teach as being NON-manipulative.

 

And one of the things that I’ve realized is that being honest with yourself, and honest with women makes you feel like a better

person inside.

 

And I think that the way you feel about yourself determines so many things… from your inner level of satisfaction with life…

to the level of trust others have for you when they meet you.

 

As far as I’m concerned, the more CANDID and HONEST you can be with yourself and others, the more self-esteem and character you build for the long-run.

 

I don’t want to start sounding like an ethics professor or a philosopher, but let’s just say that MORE HONEST is MORE BETTER.

 

 

BACK TO MY POINT…

 

The reason I tell you this story is because the things that women have been telling me lately are starting to really bum me out.

 

There are a lot of guys teaching various ways to meet women right now… and some of them are teaching dishonesty as a “main strategy” with women.

 

And more and more guys I talk to are starting to talk to me about very DARK ideas for meeting women and getting dates.

 

Here’s the result…

 

I have one good female friend who recently told me that she dated a guy a few times, and that she recognized some “techniques” that he was using with her.

 

She asked him STRAIGHT UP:

 

“Do you know who David DeAngelo is?”

 

His reply:

 

“No.”

 

Later, she went online and did a search using his email address.

 

Jackpot!

 

She found that this particular guy was someone who posted in underground newsgroups about his conquests with women.

 

Here’s the good part:

 

As she was reading through his various online posts, she found stories written detailing everything about his experiences with HER.

 

Even her exact words from emails she had written to him… copied and pasted for the world to see.

 

And, as you can imagine, he knew EXACTLY who David D. was.

 

And my favorite part…

 

He detailed how he used various lines, words, and techniques to DECEIVE my friend, along with several other women.

 

 

ANOTHER ONE…

 

I have another female friend who is a very social person… who meets a lot of people and goes on a lot of dates.

 

A few times, she’s heard guys use phrases and techniques that seem like they’ve obviously been learned from me… so she asks them about it.

 

And guess what? Most of them DON’T OWN UP TO IT.

 

I mean, dude… it’s the 21st Century.

 

Women don’t care if you are working on learning how to be better in this area of your life.

 

But they sure as hell care if you don’t have the BALLS to be honest about it.

 

 

WHAT’S GOING ON HERE?

 

I have to say, I’m disappointed with this current state of affairs.

 

More and more stories of guys using deliberate lies and manipulation to get women into bed…

 

More and more stories of guys not being honest with themselves and women, because they don’t have the guts to take responsibility for their lives…

 

It seems to me that some of us guys have taken the idea of “learning cool tricks that help us meet women” and let it turn into a kind of “dark side” mindset of trickery, lies, and outright deception.

 

It’s not cool.

 

You want to learn a cool new “pick up line” or way to start a conversation… and try it out a bunch of times in an evening, even though it doesn’t feel “natural” to you?

 

Fine. Great, even.

 

Get outside your comfort zone, and have some fun.

 

You want to learn how to use hypnotism and other tricks to get women turned on without them being “consciously aware” of it?

 

OK, I can find a way to make that one make sense… as long as it’s done with a sense of integrity and healthy boundaries.

 

You want to lie to women, make up stories about who you are and your experiences in life… not own up to the truth… and

generally sell your soul to get laid?

 

Sorry, but that’s way over the line, and it’s sacrificing your character in order to selfishly take advantage of another person.

 

And when it turns into PREYING on women in order to fulfill your selfish needs, then I think you’re a dark, egotistical coward…who deserves whatever bad things may befall you.

 

 

IN SHORT…

 

I am not a perfect person, and I don’t claim to have never made a mistake in life… or to never have had a sneaky or manipulative

thought… or never lied to someone.

 

But a mentor once taught me that something CHANGES when you make the leap, and start BEHAVING in dark ways… and then ACCEPTING that type of thinking and behavior from yourself.

 

Further, I don’t think it’s NECESSARY to be one of the “bad guys” in order to succeed with women and succeed in life.

 

It’s OK to want to learn how to be more successful with women.

 

It’s OK to study it, try new things, and teach yourself this skill.

 

But I highly recommend that you stay honest, you be up-front about what you’re doing with women… and take responsibility for yourself and your life.

 

I would honestly prefer that you not buy or use any of my stuff if you’re planning to use it in a dark, predatory way.

 

I’ll talk to you in a couple of days.

 

 

David DeAngelo

 

P.S. Do some friends a favor, and FORWARD this article to their email addresses. It might be the biggest gift you ever give them.

 

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Copyright 2008 David DeAngelo Communications Inc., All Rights Reserved. David DeAngelo and Double Your Dating are trademarks of David DeAngelo Communications Inc.

Cocky Comedy, Approach and Anti-Wuss Material

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***SUCCESS STORY***

Hi Dave,

After reading your eBook, I put many of your tactics into action.  I work in a casino, so I get to meet a lot of beautiful young women.  Once I got over the initial reluctance to ask them for their email/phone number, I started getting quite a few numbers in a night.

The other night there was a woman who was so gorgeous, it hurt.  I walked over and chatted with her for a few minutes, then asked if she had email.  She said “Sure, I do!  Let me write it down for you.”  Without asking she put down her phone number as well.  The younger guys who work for me now call me a “God”.  They have no idea how I can do it.  Better looking guys are complaining that I get more phone numbers and emails in one night than they’ve got their whole lives.  One of the women was classic.

She looked like Sheryl Crow and Jennifer Aniston combined.  She complained she wasn’t winning on the machine and asked me what the secret was.  I said, “I don’t know the secret today, but if I figure it out, I’ll email it to you.  All I need now is your email address and your phone number in case email is down.”  She was taken aback, but asked for my pen and wrote it down.  Now instead of being alone on my days off, I have a lot of options which are all great ones.  Thanks for your advice and changing me out of wuss mode.

[amzn_product_inline asin=’B00A1S14NS’]

DAVID DEANGELO’s COMMENTS:

Options are great, aren’t they?  And isn’t it amazing how a woman will give out her email and number if you just talk for a few minutes and then ask for it?  I can remember when I first started learning this stuff…  it seemed to me that no woman in her right mind would just give out her phone number to a complete stranger…

But then I discovered that no woman is actually IN her right mind!  (Or at least this is my logical deduction, because they all seem to give out their phone numbers and email addresses so readily!)  But to get back to the concept of “options”…

When you, as a guy, have options, it changes EVERYTHING.  When you have a great date that evening plus three women to email or call, things are TOTALLY DIFFERENT than when you have nothing going on.

You feel different, you talk different, and you communicate in a different way.  I believe that one of the reasons that attractive women come across so powerfully is because they KNOW that they have options.  And one of the benefits of learning how to be more successful with women and dating is that you learn to CREATE YOUR OWN OPTIONS.  When you know that you can walk out the door anytime you want and meet women, it frees up a lot of mental energy that was previously focused on other things.

Energy you can use to improve other areas of your life…

***COMMENT***

Dave my man,

I’ve been reading your advice for a while now and I have to laugh because I discovered several years ago cocky and funny really work.  I am naturally cocky and a smartass to boot, so it usually worked, but not always.  Then, my buddy told me something that drives ’em wild.  The dude is 6’3” and 300 lbs, and he always had a good looking woman on his arm.  His advice: Show a little interest, then ignore them.  Of course I over simplified it, but you know what I mean.  How many men have said that you can’t pick up women in a topless bar?  I did all the time, and rarely spent any more money than on drinks for myself.  And you can do this anywhere!  It doesn’t have to be in a bar, it can be used in the office, online dating sites, at the park, whatever!

The other guys are feeding the girls dollar bills and getting no where.  I’m just an average looking guy, but the honeys went for it like mad.  You are on the mark and anyone that has problems meeting women should heed your advice.  PS: I love the way you bust on the chicks that write to you and say how wrong you are!

D.

DAVID DEANGELO’s COMMENTS:

lol…  thanks!

Yes, women really love it when you show some interest, but then don’t hang on them.  Women, and especially attractive women, LOVE a good challenge.  It’s fun for them.  And yes, I do enjoy emails from women…  both positive and negative.  I just wish more women would write me!  (And I wish that when they did write that they’d send PICTURES!  I have gotten a few, but com’mon!)

***QUESTION***

Wasssup!!  I just have to tell ya that I think you’re a dating-guide god to all guys out there who have trouble with women, dating or relationships!  I’ve been reading your free me-mails for about two months now and I gotta tell ya, your a genius!!  I haven’t even purchased the book yet but everything you say makes perfect sense.  So I have decided to purchase Double Your Dating.  I can’t wait to see how it works out.  I have the hardest time meeting women and the bad thing about it is most girls think I’m good looking.  But they think I’m boring.

Here’s my question to you.  I’m not sure about the whole Cocky & Funny thing, how do I be cocky yet not come across as an asshole?  And I’ve really never been the funny type of guy I just don’t know how without saying or doing something that might make me look like a wussy.  Can you help a bro out PLEASE with some classic Deangelo Dating Tips?

DW-ks

 DAVID DEANGELO’S COMMENTS:

OK, here’s the basic formula for Cocky & Funny:

Take an arrogant comment, then add humor.  It’s a killer combination.  The key is that it HAS TO BE FUNNY.  It actually has to make others laugh.  You must make sure that you are Cocky enough, because if you’re only FUNNY, then you will come across as GOOFY, which isn’t what you want.

So, for instance, you might be at a bar, and you’re having a drink.  Let’s say your drink has too much alcohol in it, and you’re going to comment on it.  An arrogant comment might be:

“This bartender sucks.  There’s too much booze in my drink.”

Add a touch of humor, and it turns into:

“Whoa, this bartender either loves me or is trying to kill me.  This drink is pure alcohol.  Is there an AA meeting nearby?  Cuz I’m gonna need it when I’m done with this one.”

You feel me?  Cocky & Funny = Great Pick Up Lines and Conversation Starters.

It’s the COMBINATION that makes Cocky & Funny work like magic.  Too little or too much of either and you will come off as an idiot.  And remember, have fun.  Practice is what will help you improve.

***QUESTION***

Dave,

Man, life has changed over the last 4 months since grabbing your book and applying Cocky Comedy!  My friends are amazed at how many women I am dating and life is great!  One of the most important points I have followed from you is breaking down the whole pickup/dating/score routine and approaching each part as a skill I must learn.  Got past the email/phone number part, past the first date and first kiss part, and finally the step towards intimacy.  But alas, I’m down to the one skill that I have problems with and that I’ve never seen you really address: The graceful exit skill…

Let me explain…OK, I meet a girl, we go out, maybe we end up in each other’s arms, maybe not, but there comes a point when I just want to end it and move on to another girl.  I always get nervous with the “Well, it’s been fun, but we this isn’t going to work out so have a good life…”  Do I call and leave a voice mail?  Do I phone her?  Do I break it off face-to-face?  What’s the confident, C&F way to leave a girl and not have PLAYER stamped onto my forehead because of it?

Loving life,

S.R.

 DAVID DEANGELO’s COMMENTS:

You’re a very, very, very bad man.  In the best way possible, of course.  I think the key to dating more than one woman, or to not seeing a woman more than once or twice is to NOT ACT LIKE YOU’RE HER BOYFRIEND FROM THE BEGINNING.

Women will only resent you if you mislead them.  So don’t.  It’s not necessary.  Just have fun, be straight up, and enjoy yourself.  You don’t have to break something off if it never was “something” to begin with.  Are you with me?  The big mistake is to call twice a day, see her five times a week, act like her long lost love, and then drop her without explanation.

I think you get what I’m saying.

***SUCCESS STORY***

Dave,

I have been subscribing to the newsletter for about 6 or 8 months and have purchased your Double Your Dating eBook a couple after subscribing.  Your information has been invaluable and well worth the price.  It has completely changed the way I look at women, I never pine over them anymore and wonder “what’s wrong with me”.  Now I know what was wrong with me, I was a wuss!  But that’s all changed now and have become the Jedi Master.  I’ve even come up with some Jedi Techniques of my own.

At any rate, I met this one girl at a party one night who I knew came with a few acquaintances of mine who I told about the party.  I got to talking to her and we talked for a few minutes and poured on the Cocky & Funny, but I never got her info.  I know, I know, the 3 minute technique, but I knew I could obtain it from her friends, and the way she interacted with me, I knew she wouldn’t have minded at all (Important Note: this is my success story, I wouldn’t recommend doing things like this unless you have developed the confidence that your book helps teach).  Well, I never had to even asked her friends because two days later, she ended up looking me up in the University’s online student directory and then she looked up my IM name and IMed me with a “mysterious person” message.  I immediately figured out it was her and then accused her of stalking me and told her that’s pretty illegal.  She almost thought I was mad at her!  It was great!

Anyways, she is a real quality girl (not to mention about a 9, not perfect, but gorgeous nonetheless) and we set something up to go play pool at a local bar where I again poured it on thick.  Now mind you, I hadn’t made any big advances or anything but as she dropped me off back home, she came in to use the bathroom.  After she came out, she wrapped her arms around me and let me have a little taste.  I said goodnight to her and that was that night.  A few nights later, I told her I was going to be cooking and that she should come over which leads me to…

***Tip 1*** One of the best techniques is to invite a girl over for dinner at your place, especially if you know how to cook.  I find that many women don’t know how to cook or only “cook” stuff like Mac and Cheese and other junk.  The best part about this is they get to see your skill, which is pretty attractive to women when you can make a good meal, and you have the most control because it is your own place.  The other part, is make sure you don’t start making dinner until she is already at your place, she’s not getting an entirely free meal!

Make her help.  If she refuses, use the Cocky  & Funny techniques and have her do something.  Put her on a task that’s not too difficult so she can’t mess it up.  For example, if you’re making lasagna, make her grate cheese or something (making her wash dishes is rather insulting unless you’re doing most of them and she wants to help, which she just might).  And when you’re all done with dinner, take it to the couch and turn on the TV or watch a movie or something.  Which brings me to…

***Tip 2***    If you’re sitting down next to a girl that you’re talking to in a private setting and you get a little of that silence, not the awkward kind, but the kind where you just kind of look at each other.  If you’re thinking to yourself “should I be kissing her?”.  The answer is a screaming “YES”.  This can be preceded by the “kiss Test” as well, but I know a lot of single guys will still have insecurities about this kind of thing.

Think about it this way.  If you don’t kiss her, then she’ll probably think you’re a wuss because you don’t have the balls to do something she probably wants you to anyways.  After talking with a number of my girl-friends, I’ve found out that if a guy tries to kiss a girl, unless there is an obvious lack of attraction, she will most likely go with the kiss.  At any rate, in this day and age, she’s not going to slap you and walk out the door.  It’s not like you grabbed her crotch or something.

***Tip 3***    MC from the Mediterranean asked a question about calling the next day.  I just wanted to point out you have already answered this question in some form and you know what to do!  You can generally sense if a girl is sensitive about something like that.  If not, send her some sort of message that next day, preferably email, but if you’re on the phone, have something you’re on the way to or busy with.  Call, say “hi” and that you had a great time, don’t ask how she’s doing or what she thinks about what or if she had a good time, but find some way to use C&F to make a light conversation that will keep her wondering and even thinking about you.  Don’t bring up the sex unless she does so in a favorable manner.

***Tip 4*** Not so much a getting single girls technique, but rather something you need to do alone.  In your spare time or even when doing mindless tasks, go over your past failed attempts when you have a clear head about them and think about what happened.

You’d be surprised at how easy it is to find the things that went wrong.  You’ll also be surprised to find out that these are probably mistakes you make all the time!  This is the best way to recognize the problem and rectify it so that its not repeated. Your techniques are nearly priceless and have stroked the confidence of guys everywhere.  I’ve even recommended it to friends that have some serious wuss problems.  I have yet to see if they’ve taken it to heart or even subscribed, but I’ll help them yet!  Things are going great with that girl and I know it wouldn’t have happened if it weren’t for your eBook.  Its now become second nature, and you get all the credit.

Thanks again Dave

Your once Jedi Apprentice, now Master, D.M.

 DAVID DEANGELO’S COMMENTS:

Great ideas…  great.

Nothing else needs to be said…

Except that you stole those ideas from me, loser.

What The Alpha Male IS and IS NOT

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Many people have a misconception about being an Alpha Male and what that means.  They seem to think is means being a jack-ass like Biff in Back to the Future.  That is not at all what being the alpha male is about.  Let me explain.

What being the “Alpha” means is simply being the dominant male (or even the female) in a group.  The Alpha Dog or Alpha Leader is the one that is most likely to get the mate – in other words, Darwin created this, not me.  (Remember, the survival of the fittest?)

Thinking about it from a Darwinian perspective – it makes SENSE to want to be the alpha male.  If you cannot create mini-me’s at some point in your life, then your genetic line goes extinct!

So, do you think you deserve to have your genetic legacy carried on into the next generation? I hope so. And more importantly, I hope you believe so as well.

So now, you know the basics on what an alpha male is and is not.  Here are some words to describe the alpha male:

Intelligent
Motivated
Eager
Honorable
Dominant (not cruel, but demonstrating superior social skills)
Unwavering
Healthy (fit lifestyle)
Curious
Balanced
Natural

Here are a few things an Alpha is NOT:

Mean
Angry at women
Verbally, Physically, Emotionally or any other kind of abusive
Egotistical
Rude

 There seems to be some confusion (and most of it is created by other guys hoping to cash in on your confusion) about what it means to be a POWERFUL and persuasive man in today’s society.

I’m not even going to throw you more of that evolutionary stuff because it really doesn’t matter. When you think about it, it just makes sense that we want people who appear or demonstrate more social value than us. It’s because we naturally want to latch on to their power.

Again, it all comes back to power.

So being an “Alpha” doesn’t mean you’re dragging women back to a cave by the hair. Or that you’re being an asshole or a pushy loudmouthed jerk. Or that you’re being angry and shoving people around to get your way.  Or that you’re inconsiderate of others no matter how weak or strong they are. Or that you’re acting like a rutting animal.

It means that you understand ATTRACTION – and why women are attracted to men (meaning what makes a woman FEEL attraction toward a man) and that YOU are willing to be that man. Not a wussy, pushover flop that’s afraid to let women know he wants them.

You see, there are only two motivating forces in life: Desire and Fear.

That’s it. We are motivated purely by what we feel we WANT, and what we feel we most want to avoid.  Being afraid is a stronger motivator for people because it has helped us survive potentially life-threatening situations ( think about poor Cro-Magnon man facing a saber tooth tiger.  If he was an egotistical jack-ass – he would have challenged the tiger and been lunch meat.  Then the chimps would rule earth). You’re smart to fear wild animals, or large trains heading toward you. You can’t afford the luxury of analysis in these situations. A delay could cost you your life.

On the other hand, in our modern society, there isn’t much you have to fear. People actually seem to fear too much nowadays, including simple things like approaching women and conversation.  Social anxiety rules us.

What this is – is fear of LOSS.

Everyone’s favorite short wrinkly green dude, Yoda, even said it in the latest Star Wars flick… “Fear of loss leads to the dark side.”  And so it does. It leads you down a path where you never gain because you’re too afraid of losing what you have.  Even if that is an intangible thing – like a blow to the pride if she says piss off.

An Alpha Man understands that the only way to live is to wake up each morning and understand that everything you have was just given back to you with the dawn.

So, when someone tells you that being an Alpha is bad, or it’s this and that, remember that they’re trying to color your perception. They’re trying to steer you away from a path of understanding and enlightenment.  Trust your own intelligence to figure out what an Alpha Man REALLY is.

What you may not know is that he’s already inside of you. It just takes a little work to let this instinct out so that you can become the COMPLETE you.

There are a lot of guys out there who haven’t been able to open themselves up to letting out this TRUE nature inside them. They hide it behind “Politically Correct” BS about not hurting other people’s feelings, or being sensitive, or being in touch with their feminine side…ugh.

It’s really a fear to let other people see the REAL you. The man that wants to have power. The man that wants virile women in his life. The man that wants tangible success. The man that wants power over the forces of life that seem to control him.

Forget about all this “Alpha” talk and just open your mind up to finding this part of you that isn’t held back by fear, and is ready to reach out for understanding that could – and will – change your life for the better.

So on one hand we have the lowly AFC, or non-Alpha. He’s a little insecure, possibly low self-esteem, but WANTS to grow and change.  He is probably shuffling his feet right now – or maybe, he is a little puffed up in the chest saying, “THAT is what I want to be when I grow up!”

So let that inner alpha out!

4 Dating Tips Nice Guys Need to Know

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Being a man, I am sure that you have experienced the “friend zone”.  The friend zone is that dreaded place nice guys get to with a girl when you are being just too damn nice.  Picture it:  she is beautiful, smart, funny and all the things you want in a date or a girlfriend, but she is just “not interested” in you in “that” way.  PUKE.

Ok, so have you ever noticed this?  The most attractive and interesting women seem to be attracted to men who don’t treat them very well?  And the “nicer” you are to a woman the more she often seems to just want to be “friends”?

So what is happening here?  I don’t know about you, but my Mom always told me to be NICE.  Well, I think Mom meant well, but the truth is that girls aren’t generally romantically attracted to “nice” guys.  Women are attracted to men who are funny, confident, and mysterious.  Good looks don’t hurt, but if you’re not 6’4″ tall and look like Brad Pitt, then you have to learn how to attract women with your personality.

So how do I come more successful with women and dating by NOT being a nice guy, you ask?  Well, first of all, I am not talking about going out and starting to slap the women around or yell crude things to them out the window of your car as you cruise the boulevard.  Women are attracted to men who are funny, mysterious and confident.

This is what I am talking about (you can read it in the first chapter of David Deangelo’s dating tips for guys eBook “Double Your Dating” called “Women Don’t Make Sense”).

1) Women make decisions very, very quickly about whether a man is going to be “just a friend” or if he has romantic potential, and once her decision is made, it’s probably going to stay made.

2) These decisions are made “subconsciously”, meaning that women make all of them quickly and at a “gut level”.

3) If you know how, you make her feel attraction feelings rather than “friend” feelings.

4) The way to do it is to stop acting “nice” and start acting, well…  something else…  and I don’t mean “not nice”.

So what DOES attract women?  And how do you do it exactly?

Good questions…

At the beginning, I mentioned three qualities:  Funny, Confident, and Mysterious.  Before I talk about each, I first have to remind you that WOMEN DON’T USUALLY MAKE SENSE.

Remember that.

Here’s a good metaphor: Remember when you learned to drive?  It all made sense…  turn the wheel left and go left, turn it right and go right…But do you remember when you learned to back up?  Backing up was a whole new game.  Everything that used to work now works in a different way.  At first you feel disoriented.  Turn the wheel left and go right…  and you have to learn how to maneuver with the back wheels staying straight while the front wheels turn…  all with your head turned around.

For most people, this takes some time and practice.  But once you “get it” then you can do it anytime you want.  Well, women are very similar.  At first it’s very confusing.  You have to try things that don’t seem to make sense.  But once you get the hang of it, then you see how it works and can make it work…  just like backing up a car.

As much as many women would hate to admit it, there’s something very attractive about a man who is just a little more confident than he should be.  And if you combine this with the right amount of humor (like Cocky Comedy), you have a magic combination that will charm almost any woman.

Here are a few dating tips for you so you can use this idea:

1) When you first meet a single girl, tease her about something.  It doesn’t matter what it is, as long as you do it early on.  For instance, you might say: “So what’s with the big purse?  Are you carrying a gun in there?” or maybe “Those are some pretty tall shoes, what are you like 4′ tall without them?”  If you tease a woman, it shows that you’re not intimidated by her, and that you have a fun sense of humor.  KEY: Make sure you say something FUNNY.  If you don’t know how to be funny, get a book on it.  The test: If she’s not laughing, then it wasn’t funny!

2) Look around at other things and seem kind of pre-occupied when you first start talking to her.  Make your funny remarks with a carefree, detached tone.  You want to sound like you’re talking to your best friend.  Attractive women are approached all the time.  It’s not attractive to a woman when you look like you’ve just met Madonna.  This “just a little too confident” attitude is very attractive to women…  especially when it’s combined with humor.

3) Don’t answer her questions directly.  Women love to ask questions like: “What do you do?” and “Where do you live?” and “Tell me about your family”.  Answer with funny answers, and don’t give her what she wants.  Most guys say, “Oh, I’m an engineer” or “I’m a stock broker”.  BORING, BORING.

If she asks what you do…  say, “Oh, funny you should ask.  I’m a Calvin Klein Underwear Model…  What do you do?”  (This is especially funny if it’s OBVIOUS that you are NOT a model)  Do you get it?  Keep it up and keep her laughing.  It’s important to remember that I’m not telling you to be mean, or to be a jerk to women.  I’m telling you to start being confident, funny, and mysterious.