-By David DeAngelo, Author Of “Double Your Dating”

***QUESTION FROM A READER***

Dave,

I’ve become a very generous guy lately.  To all my male friends, I’m giving them the gift of your newsletter.  To all my females, I’m giving the gift of missing me.

I’m a recovering wuss.  I took a few months off of women and worked on my inner game, with great results.  I’ve started talking to new women again, along with old girlfriends.  I find that when the c/f (Cocky & Funny) starts rolling, or even just my newfound confidence, I often get a lot of compliments.  What’s the best way to deal with a girl coming out and saying “oh, you’re so cute/funny/etc…”? Should I ignore it and keep the c/f going?  Should I address it in a cocky way?  I’m assuming that graciously accepting the compliment is never the right answer…

What would you say to a girl who compliments you directly? (other than “Do you do third input?”)  What would your tone/body language/eye contact be like?

-J.M.
>From new hampshire, where men are men, women are few, and sheep are nervous.

>>>MY COMMENTS:

You know, this really is a great question.

One of the most important things to understand as a man is what to do when things are WORKING… so you don’t SCREW IT UP!

If you use the materials that you’re learning from me, you will start to have a magical thing happen more and more often… women will start to do and say things that clearly indicate that they LIKE you.

Sometimes it will be a touch, sometimes a compliment, and sometimes a smile. But these things WILL happen more and more as you get better and better.

I always laugh to myself when I bust a woman’s chops really hard, and she laughs and says “You’re so funny!” or “You really are good!” etc.

I still shake my head and wonder why the hell it took me so long to figure this stuff out.

But I digress… you know, while I’m digressing, what’s with you ending your email with:

“>From new hampshire, where men are men, women are few, and sheep are nervous.”

…?!

This is probably the third or fourth time that I’ve seen this at the end of an email.

Tell me the truth… do chicks dig this?

You’re making me nervous, man. Keep the sheep talk on the DL, OK?

Uncool.

Now, when a woman does something that signals “I like you”, it is VITALLY important that you:

1) Know how to recognize it

2) DON’T do what MOST guys do

3) DO the right thing, and AMPLIFY it

So how can you tell if a woman is doing something that says “I like you”?

Well, it’s VERY important to remember that women are far more “subtle” than men (most of the time, that is).

If a man is interested in a woman, you can see it all over his face. It’s usually very obvious.

But women are different.

Women do SMALL things.

A little touch. A sly smile. Sometimes a comment like “You’re so cute” (as in your example above).

But then IT’S GONE.

Women always seem to act like they’re not quite sure.

They don’t send consistent signals that most men can “read”.

And when they DO send signals that are easy to see, most guys respond in a way that makes those signals stop…which makes things even MORE confusing.

Again, women aren’t as CONSISTENT as men.

A woman can seem like she’s interested one minute, then stand-offish the next.

So rule #1 is:

JUST BECAUSE SHE’S DOING SOMETHING THAT SAYS “I LIKE YOU”, DON’T THINK THAT IT MEANS “I LIKE YOU NO MATTER WHAT”.

Much better to interpret subtle “I like you” cues as “I like you for a second, but if you start acting like a Wuss Bag or Dumb Ass, it will all be over in an instant”.

Unfortunately for most guys, they take “I like you” signals to mean “You’ve won my approval, now you can do whatever you want”.

And what do they do? Of course…

They turn into dorks, say or do a few stupid things, and destroy it all.

Oh, how many times I’ve watched guys (myself included) screw up perfectly good situations because they just didn’t get this concept.

Let me give you an example.

Let’s say that you’re out with a woman, and you’ve been teasing her, and she smiles and says “I like you”.

A typical “male” response is for a guy to think to himself “OK, I’m in… she digs me” and to get that rush in the head and chest.

Next thing you know, he’s acting different.

He’s talking about different things.

He’s giving compliments.

He’s being “nicer”.

And what’s the woman thinking while this is all going on? Of course… she’s thinking “Uh oh, his cool, calm, interesting personality was just a cover for the secret inner-Wuss that was hiding out, waiting for a little bit of approval from me… AHHHHHH!”

Women KNOW that they’re in control of the situation. Or at least MOST of the time they are… and they THINK that they are even during the times when they’re not.

They’re constantly using different kinds of communication to test and “feel out” the situation.

Remember, MOST of the time when you’re saying something that you think is nice, charming, and original, it’s something that a woman has heard about 47 times that week from other guys.

Us guys act VERY predictably most of the time.

And women know how to tell if you’re just another loser who’s pretending to be cool… who will turn into an average Wuss at the first sign of attraction from a cute woman.

Think about what I just said.

This is hard for a lot of guys to swallow… but it’s the reality of the situation.

There’s something that women call “Sexual Tension”. It’s also known as “Chemistry” or “Attraction” as well. But only WOMEN know it this way.

When you tease a woman, make her laugh, play hard to get with her, act unpredictably, etc. in the right way, you will create this tension. This is what usually leads to a woman saying something like “You’re cute” or “I like you”.

It’s the TENSION that makes her FEEL it and SAY it.

THE TENSION!

In these very special moments, you need to turn the tension UP. Dial it up. AMPLIFY it.

Don’t diffuse it all by saying “You’re cute yourself” or “I like you, too”. Or by smiling like a jackass wussy dork who has just seen his first rainbow.

This kind of thing RELEASES the tension, and it usually takes that wonderful electric attraction feeling that the woman is feeling and INSTANTLY kills it.

Does this make logical sense?

Hell no.

But it’s what happens.

OK, so let’s talk about the RIGHT way to handle this type of situation.

Remember when I said that it’s the TENSION that makes a woman feel the feelings and make the comments?

And that you need to AMPLIFY it when you’re getting a positive response?

Nice.

Once upon a time, there was a scene in a movie that illustrated this concept PERFECTLY.

In fact, it might be the all-time greatest example of this principle that has ever been recorded on film.

Remember the end of “The Empire Strikes Back” when they were about to put Han Solo into the deep freeze?

Remember when Leia said “I love you”…?

Remember what Han said?

Right, he said… “I know”.

Perfect.

All of the sexual tension that built up in Star Wars and Empire culminated in Leia confessing her love.

And Han says “I know”.

Awesome!

Imagine being Leia. What could be going through her mind at this point?

An answer like this isn’t easy to understand. It has all kinds of implications.

It’s confusing.

It says “I know you love me, because it’s been obvious for a long time…”. But it doesn’t let HER know how he feels exactly. It requires consideration. It dials up the tension. It’s amazing.

By the way, I read that when they were filming that scene Han was supposed to answer “I love you too”, but the director didn’t like it. They tried all kinds of things, and in the end Harrison Ford made up that line on the spot in one of the takes… and they kept it. Nice.

By the way, one of the BIG reasons why the newer movies in the Star Wars series suck is because there is no character like Han… think about it. It’s all boring, predictable stuff. There’s no sexy, arrogant, funny, wildcard personality messing things up.

Like I pointed out after I saw “Attack Of The Clones”, Anakin had to kill an ENTIRE VILLAGE of Sand People just to convince Princess A. that he wasn’t a complete and total Wuss. Would have been so much easier and more entertaining if he would have just had a PERSONALITY.

Whatever.

Now where was I…?

Oh, yea… amplifying the sexual tension…

If you’re out with a woman, and you tease her because she’s wearing four inch heels by saying “What’s the deal, are you four feet tall without those one?”, and she opens her mouth with the classic “Oh no you didn’t” look (smiling of course, with that surprised smile)… and you dial it up to the next level with “Oh, I’m sorry…Four foot three?”… and she hits you on the arm…

…and then she stops, puts her hand on your arm, and says “You know, you’re funny”…

…what do you do?

YOU SAY “YEA, I KNOW” – in a serious tone.

Or “Don’t try to use compliments to make me like you. It won’t work. Go buy me a drink or something… I prefer gifts and money.”

Or look down at her hand on your arm, lean back slightly, turn your head, and put your eyebrows together as if to say “Just WHAT do you think you’re doing touching me?!”.

TURN IT UP, my friend!

You TURN UP the tension.

AMPLIFY it.

Keep it going.

If you keep amplifying the tension and attraction at each of these wonderful moments, good things will happen.

Good stuff.

OK, I have a question.

Want more killer ideas like this one?

What if I told you that there was a place you could go and download an eBook that contained literally DOZENS and DOZENS of great ideas like this one?

Well, there is. Of course, it’s my eBook “Double Your Dating”. Inside, you’ll learn about all of my personal favorite techniques for dealing with all kinds of situations with women.

This might sound a little strange, but I actually read my own book to brush up on concepts, and remind myself of how to handle different situations. It took me a few years to learn, test, refine, and organize all of the awesome techniques that are included, and you’ll understand why I speak so highly of it when you go and get a copy.

It’s here… you can download it and be reading it in a few minutes. And while your at it, be sure to sign up for my free newsletter for more great tips:

•  Free Dating Tips Newsletter And Download eBook  •
____________________________________________________

David DeAngelo is the author of “Double Your Dating –  What Every Man Should Know About How To Be Successful With Women”, and has taught thousands of men how to be more successful with women and dating.
_________________________________________________________________

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By David DeAngelo

Let me start off by telling you something interesting:

I’ve personally stopped focusing on just getting phone numbers. I’ve found that EMAIL addresses are far better (I still get the phone number too, of course).

Let me explain.

I perfected the art of getting phone numbers a couple of years ago.

If a woman is single, I can walk up to her and get her number in about a minute or two (if I’m in a hurry). I found out later, after working like a mad scientist on this that GETTING PHONE NUMBERS ALONE DOESN’T EQUAL SUCCESS.

You see, women have many different reasons for giving out their phone numbers. Some love the attention of having a lot of men call them. Some like to turn guys down. Some are actually interested. But the universal feedback that I get from men, and in my personal experience, women act different on the phone than they do in person.

When you call a woman for the first time, she’ll often start acting stand offish or even worse, just plain rude. It’s almost like she’s a different person than the one you met.

I’ve found that getting an EMAIL address is not only easier, but it gets more positive responses later on. It’s almost as if women appreciate it that you’ve taken the time to think about what you’re going to say when you write an email to them, and they think of you more like someone they know.

The other benefit of email is that it can be written and answered anytime.

If you call, you have to actually reach them. But an email can be answered anytime. And I’ve found that emails are answered FAR more often than voicemail messages.

HERE’S THE HOW TO:

After I’ve talked to a woman for about 3 or 4 minutes, I’ll often say something like “Well, it was nice meeting you. I’m going to get back to my friends.”

They usually don’t know what to do, as they’re used to guys clinging to them. Most of the time, they say “It was nice meeting you too…” Then, just as I’m turning to walk away, and we kind of disconnect, I turn back and say “HEY! Do you have email?”

The “HEY!” is a bit surprising, and “Do you have email” is non-threatening. In fact, I’m technically asking her if she HAS email, not if she’ll GIVE IT TO ME.

If she says “yes,” I take out a pen and paper and say “Great, write it down for me” and I have her write it down. (This is great, as I just treat the ‘yes’ that they give me as a yes to get it from them as well. And they’ve almost ALL gone along with it so far) Then AS SHE’S IN THE MIDDLE OF WRITING, I say “Write your number down there too.”

When you ask for email, it’s very low risk for a woman, so she’ll think “Fine, I’ll do that.” Most women will give out an email address without thinking about it, because they know that they can choose later to just not answer.

The magic of asking them to write their phone number down WHILE they’re in the middle of writing down their email is all about the psychology of human behavior.

She’s already mentally said “OK, I’ll give you my email address”… and she’s in the middle of writing it down. When you say “And just write your number down there too” it’s only NATURAL to just write it.

In other words, it’s a MUCH smaller step than giving out the phone number all by itself. It took me a LONG time to figure out this simple move, but it works like magic! You will have women writing their phone numbers down without even thinking twice.

Here’s a great add-on to make sure you’re getting a real phone number and not a pager or voicemail:

As she’s writing down her phone number I say “Is this a number that you actually answer?” If she looks at me and hesitates, or says that it’s her “voicemail or pager number,” then I say “Look, write your real number down. It’s going to be OK, I’ll only call you nine times a day…” They laugh and usually give me their real number.

Now, if she answers my first question and says “No, I don’t have email” then I bust on them and say “Well, do you have electricity?” This is a GREAT opportunity to use humor.

Then I say “Well, OK then. I like email better, but I’ll take your regular phone number. It’s so damn hard to reach people on the phone these days.”

Just realize that all you have to do is ask.

Like I said, I’ve tried all kinds of things. And I’ve gotten hundreds of phone numbers. And I use this exact sequence every time I talk to a woman and I want to get her phone number. I’ve gotten to the point where I can often do this in a minute or two – no kidding!

Now that you know the sequence, write it down with the words and the steps, and rehearse it in your mind over and over until you know exactly what to say for each step and each response.

Many guys have asked me “But what do I tell her as a reason why I want her number or email?” I’ve never had a woman ask me. If you ask, and they give it, then she knows why you asked. If she doesn’t give it to you, then she also knew why you asked.

Just assume that this is the case.

If you ask every time, and you do it in a smooth, assuming, calm way, you’ll get a lot of emails and phone numbers.

Note: Carry a pen on you at all times. I prefer the Fisher Space Pen (chrome) because it’s small, classy, and women love it!

____________________________________________________

David DeAngelo is the author of “Double Your Dating – What Every Man Should Know About How To Be Successful With Women”, and has taught thousands of men how to be more successful with women and dating.
_________________________________________________________________

Copyright 2008 David DeAngelo Communications Inc., All Rights Reserved. “David DeAngelo” and “Double Your Dating” are trademarks used by David DeAngelo Communications Inc.

Being a man, I am sure that you have experienced the “friend zone”.  The friend zone is that dreaded place nice guys get to with a girl when you are being just too damn nice.  Picture it:  she is beautiful, smart, funny and all the things you want in a date or a girlfriend, but she is just “not interested” in you in “that” way.  PUKE.

Ok, so have you ever noticed this?  The most attractive and interesting women seem to be attracted to men who don’t treat them very well?  And the “nicer” you are to a woman the more she often seems to just want to be “friends”?

So what is happening here?  I don’t know about you, but my Mom always told me to be NICE.  Well, I think Mom meant well, but the truth is that girls aren’t generally romantically attracted to “nice” guys.  Women are attracted to men who are funny, confident, and mysterious.  Good looks don’t hurt, but if you’re not 6’4″ tall and look like Brad Pitt, then you have to learn how to attract women with your personality.

So how do I come more successful with women and dating by NOT being a nice guy, you ask?  Well, first of all, I am not talking about going out and starting to slap the women around or yell crude things to them out the window of your car as you cruise the boulevard.  Women are attracted to men who are funny, mysterious and confident.

This is what I am talking about (you can read it in the first chapter of David Deangelo’s dating tips for guys eBook “Double Your Dating” called “Women Don’t Make Sense”).

1) Women make decisions very, very quickly about whether a man is going to be “just a friend” or if he has romantic potential, and once her decision is made, it’s probably going to stay made.

2) These decisions are made “subconsciously”, meaning that women make all of them quickly and at a “gut level”.

3) If you know how, you make her feel attraction feelings rather than “friend” feelings.

4) The way to do it is to stop acting “nice” and start acting, well…  something else…  and I don’t mean “not nice”.

So what DOES attract women?  And how do you do it exactly?

Good questions…

At the beginning, I mentioned three qualities:  Funny, Confident, and Mysterious.  Before I talk about each, I first have to remind you that WOMEN DON’T USUALLY MAKE SENSE.

Remember that.

Here’s a good metaphor: Remember when you learned to drive?  It all made sense…  turn the wheel left and go left, turn it right and go right…But do you remember when you learned to back up?  Backing up was a whole new game.  Everything that used to work now works in a different way.  At first you feel disoriented.  Turn the wheel left and go right…  and you have to learn how to maneuver with the back wheels staying straight while the front wheels turn…  all with your head turned around.

For most people, this takes some time and practice.  But once you “get it” then you can do it anytime you want.  Well, women are very similar.  At first it’s very confusing.  You have to try things that don’t seem to make sense.  But once you get the hang of it, then you see how it works and can make it work…  just like backing up a car.

As much as many women would hate to admit it, there’s something very attractive about a man who is just a little more confident than he should be.  And if you combine this with the right amount of humor (like Cocky Comedy), you have a magic combination that will charm almost any woman.

Here are a few dating tips for you so you can use this idea:

1) When you first meet a single girl, tease her about something.  It doesn’t matter what it is, as long as you do it early on.  For instance, you might say: “So what’s with the big purse?  Are you carrying a gun in there?” or maybe “Those are some pretty tall shoes, what are you like 4′ tall without them?”  If you tease a woman, it shows that you’re not intimidated by her, and that you have a fun sense of humor.  KEY: Make sure you say something FUNNY.  If you don’t know how to be funny, get a book on it.  The test: If she’s not laughing, then it wasn’t funny!

2) Look around at other things and seem kind of pre-occupied when you first start talking to her.  Make your funny remarks with a carefree, detached tone.  You want to sound like you’re talking to your best friend.  Attractive women are approached all the time.  It’s not attractive to a woman when you look like you’ve just met Madonna.  This “just a little too confident” attitude is very attractive to women…  especially when it’s combined with humor.

3) Don’t answer her questions directly.  Women love to ask questions like: “What do you do?” and “Where do you live?” and “Tell me about your family”.  Answer with funny answers, and don’t give her what she wants.  Most guys say, “Oh, I’m an engineer” or “I’m a stock broker”.  BORING, BORING.

If she asks what you do…  say, “Oh, funny you should ask.  I’m a Calvin Klein Underwear Model…  What do you do?”  (This is especially funny if it’s OBVIOUS that you are NOT a model)  Do you get it?  Keep it up and keep her laughing.  It’s important to remember that I’m not telling you to be mean, or to be a jerk to women.  I’m telling you to start being confident, funny, and mysterious.