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First Date: Five Things You Need To Do

September 18, 2013 By GetTheGirl

Make Her First Impression of You A Lasting Impression

A first date is usually the most daunting and intimidating part of the dating process. If you dress the wrong way, or are not adequately groomed, it could potentially set your date off on the wrong foot before you even say a word. Here are five things you need to do to make a great impression on your first date.

1) Dress for comfort and style

Dress in what makes you comfortable, but do not be over-revealing or over the top. If you usually dress in baggy, revealing clothing, it may be best to put on more conservative attire for the first date. If you are an eccentric dresser, it may be best to tone it down a little bit at first. Put on something that makes you feel good, cool, and confident yet still reveals some aspect of your personality.

2) Don’t be too formal, but don’t be overly casual

If you dress too much for the occasion, your date will obviously notice. If the date is at a more formal restaurant, obviously take note and wear something a tad more dressy. If it is at a casual sporting event, however, it is best to dress down a bit. Perhaps wear one of your cool, casual and pretty damn amazing blazers. No matter how you dress, your date will be able to tell if you have a nice body.

3) Bring accessories and wear shoes that compliment your outfit

An otherwise nice outfit can be ruined by the wrong pair of shoes. Remember to think of every detail. Also make sure your shoes are polished and clean. A date-ready outfit starts with making everything come together.

4) Stay away from your cell phone

Cell phones are ruinous to intimate one-on-one conversations. In the middle of your date, do not whip out your cell phone to respond to a text or check your mail inbox. Your date may see it as rude and would likely be correct in that assumption.

5) Listen and respond thoughtfully

Be honest, listen, and be careful not to dominate the conversation. Do not be completely self-absorbed, but do not be so quiet as to make your date feel awkward or think that you are not having a good time. Additionally, being honest in what you say will help you in the long-term. You do not want to have a relationship with someone that is based on lies as it is not sustainable forever.

Bonus Tip:

6) Relax and be yourself!

True Commitment Phobia

September 8, 2013 By GetTheGirl

You Can Overcome Commitment Phobia and Enjoy Your Relationship!

Do you have commitment phobia?

Commitment phobia can be a serious issue when it comes to being in a relationship, but it is something that can be overcome.

We hear a lot about commitment phobia, but is it psychological or just an excuse? Well, it’s actually both. Some people actually have psychological issues when it comes to commitment. Others use it as a way to avoid commitment on their part, but continue to benefit from the commitment of someone else. In this article we will be discussing the psychological aspects of commitment phobia.

Simply stated, commitment phobia is the fear of committing. Some people may fear committing to decisions in general, while others may fear commitment to a relationship. There’s more than one reason why a person may fear relationship commitment. Some may find it difficult to give up their freedom, and others may fear getting too close due to past experiences.

Signs of Commitment Phobia

The signs are different for everyone. The way a person reacts depends on what type of commitment they fear, why they fear it, their personality, and how they respond. After reviewing a large amount of content identifying signs of commitment phobia, I found there to be a lot of inaccurate information out there.

Some of the most common ways commitment Phoebes react are by:

• Constantly whining or complaining.

• Creating an on again-off again relationship.

• Finding something wrong with anyone that they begin to fall for.

• Distancing themselves when things begin to get serious.

• Avoiding making plans.

Among the many signs that I read form various articles I found a few to generally be accurate. Here they are:

• Becomes emotionally detached.

• Continuously starts arguments over silly little things, and always blame it on you.

• Has a habit of making plans, changing them, or backing out of them at the last minute.

• Distant when it comes to talking about feelings or relationships.

• Doesn’t want you around their family and friends.

• Don’t like to talk about future plans with you.

• Have had several past relationships that were going good, and then suddenly they ended them.

• Say that they want to spend time with you, but then suddenly change their mind.

• Choose to date others with busy schedules or who live away.

• Unpredictable and unreliable in a relationship.

• Moody when it comes to relationship issues.

• Don’t like planning ahead.

• Get frustrated when you mess with or add to their personal things.

Other signs I found that could be true for some commitment phoebes but not others were:

• Doesn’t want to commit right away. (They may just need to get to know their partner first.)

• Takes a while to say “I loves you”. (Often is a good sign that they mean it when they do say it.)

• Moves a lot. (Could be due to financial issues, work, or other things unrelated.)

• Changes jobs often. (Could be moving up or searching for the right job.)

• Picky about who they date. (It pays to be a little picky.)

• Dates people who aren’t compatible. (It takes a while to determine who is compatible.)

• Has mood changes. (Could be due to other psychological issues.)

• Charming, and know how to get what they want. (Wow, I’m speechless.)

• Attractive and successful yet single. (Maybe that right person still hasn’t been found.)

• Unfaithful and not truthful. (Hmm, this sounds more like an excuse…)

• Play head games. (A lot of people play head games for a lot of different reasons.)

• Doesn’t want you at their home, but want to meet at your instead. (It sounds like they are hiding something.)

• Had several short relationships. (This may be due to bad luck, it depends on who ended the relationships and why.)

• Don’t have many processions. (Maybe they have a small place, lost everything, or don’t have much income.)

• Has a freelance careers or travels frequently for work. (Maybe this is just their ling of work, saying freelancers are commitment phoebes is like saying cats don’t have hair just because a few don’t.)

Getting Over It

Hypnotherapy is used successfully for many phobias, including relationship commitment.

In order to get over a commitment phobia a person must first recognize that they have it. Next the cause needs to be determined. Is it a fear of getting hurt due to past relationships, or past events that occurred during childhood? Is it a fear of decision making? Maybe it’s a fear of losing freedom? Once the cause is determined, the process of overcoming it can begin.

There are many options for overcoming a phobia including hypnotherapy and anchoring, but the best way to overcome it is through self-help techniques.

Journaling is a great way to gain a better understand of yourself. Write down uncomfortable situations, why they were uncomfortable, feelings they caused, reactions, and alternative reactions. Reflecting on past situations, feelings, and reactions is a great way to learn how to cope with and overcome certain feelings.

Moving on is an important step in overcoming fears resulting from past experiences. Pick the positive things that resulted from the experience and what was learned from the experience. Learn from the experience but don’t take it to the extreme. The same thing doesn’t happen every time. Let the past experiences can make a person stronger person, or they can make a person with fears. Choose to be the stronger person.

A good way to overcome a fear is to face it. Some fears have to be proven wrong. The only way to do that is to give things a chance. You will never know how something might have turned out if you never gave it a chance. Why continue traumatizing yourself because you fear you might get hurt. It’s not worth it if you are hurting yourself in the process.

Challenge negative thoughts. Could it really be that bad? What am I really afraid of? Why am I making myself miserable now to avoid making myself miserable? Maybe it won’t work out, but if it does it would be great!

The Partner’s Role

Having the right partner when trying to overcome a phobia is important because if they aren’t understanding they may make things worse. It is important that the partner:

• Not pressure.

• Give space and not smother.

• Demonstrate the positive aspects of commitment.

• Don’t give ultimatums.

• Is someone trustworthy and open.

• Is patient.

• Understands even a person who fears commitment still loves.

Conclusion

Kicking commitment phobia can ultimately reward you with getting the girl of your dreams!

Commitment phobia doesn’t mean “unable to love”. It means “fear to commit”. It’s a fear that can be overcome, and it should be. It isn’t something that occurs in only a certain group of people. It can happen to anyone. Some attractive successful single people may have it, but online free daters may too. It doesn’t matter if you are from Australia or Europe, it just depends on who they are as a person and their past.

Today’s article contribution comes from Paul Fredrick who works at Free Dating Sites Australia. See more of Paul’s tips and advices here: http://www.freedatingaustralia.com.au/brisbane-qld

The Art of Surprising Your Significant Other

July 29, 2013 By GetTheGirl

Alright gentlemen, here’s the deal. We love being with you, we love spending time with you, and we love when you take us out for our weekly date night. We know that your intentions are good, and your heart is in the right place even with the monotonous “whatever you want to do honey” in deciding what to do on our night out. Pay attention because here is the secret to date night. As much as you think you’re making us happy by leaving it up to us, the truth is we don’t want to be asked what we want to do, we want you to already know!

I know what you’re thinking, and the answer is yes, we are crazy. For someone in a relationship, that should have already been accepted as a scientific fact, and is proven by the given formula below.

[2(X Chromosome)-Y Chromosome=Utterly Insane!]

In all honesty, there are many men out there that will never fully understand the female creature, however it doesn’t hurt to try. The point being is that at the end of the day we want to feel special – and no guys, making us decide week after week is not making us feel special. Same goes for eating at our favorite restaurant over and over again (don’t spoil a good thing).

Yes, we’re all a little crazy!

Contrary to popular belief, keeping your significant other happy is not that hard of task, however nor is it an easy one. For many couples, between work, family, friends, etc., the idea of going the extra mile to please their partner is quite a daunting burden. Consequently, couples everywhere find themselves stuck in a repetitive mundane rut, in a relationship lacking the fire and passion that originally brought them together. Rekindling that fire is not rocket science, and it isn’t painstakingly difficult either – but it must be something that is desired, rather than feeling like an obligation!

As I mentioned earlier, as women, all we truly want from our man is to feel special. Making us feel special doesn’t mean buying expensive gifts or going on extravagant dates. All it takes is a little bit of effort and thoughtfulness to show us just how much we mean to you.

So guys, time to debunk the old dating routine and sweep her off her feet with a surprise night out like she’s never experienced before! The art of executing a surprise date should not be taken halfheartedly, it takes preparation and planning. Additionally, there are two primary rules to carrying out a surprise night out:

Rule #1: Make it special

Isn’t this the point of the whole idea? Basically, what I am saying here is don’t surprise your woman with dinner at the restaurant you went to last week. Change things up and make it a night she will never forget.

Rule #2: Make it a secret

Duh right? I mean it is a surprise date! The confidentiality only adds to the allure of the night and is sure to impress her.
When it comes to planning a special surprise for your significant other, there are three main elements to a memorable night out that every guy should know: Creative, Cute, Romantic. Here are some examples of ways in which you can accomplish these three goals and plan a successful surprise.

Creative

Turn the date into a scavenger hunt. Leave a list of items on her car at work and a note telling her to show up to a designated location and time. Each item on the hunt can be something that is either relevant to the date or items that carry sentimental value. By leading her on a wild goose chase around town her curiosity will be sparked and add an exciting element to the night.

Similar to a scavenger hunt, make a treasure map. Leave her clues at different locations around town, ultimately leading her straight to you. Maybe make the final clue a note with a hotel room number. What she doesn’t know is while she was off searching for clues, you’ve been busy adorning the hotel room with rose petals and her favorite scented candles. Hook, line, and sinker, need I say more?

The trick with creative dates is that execution is everything. Sometimes a plan may be too elaborate for one man to carry out. If that is the case, recruit your friends to help you out, the last thing you want is for something to go wrong and ruin your hard work.

Cute

Girls absolutely love to see their man act like a total cheese ball and there are numerous ways in which you can accomplish this feat. The easiest way to kill her with cuteness is to simply dress the part. This is a special night for both of you, dress like it. A nice shirt and tie will usually do the job, maybe even a sport jacket to look extra dapper. Trim the scruff and lose the torn jeans to show her you’re willing to clean up just for her. Don’t go overboard though! More often than not wearing a tuxedo to the local Olive Garden is frowned upon.

Flowers are always a welcomed surprise!

Flowers! Flowers! Flowers! It is a fact of life that women love flowers. What do they love more than flowers? Being given flowers of course. The simple act of giving flowers is pretty darn cute in itself, however that’s not how we’re doing things right now, we’re being creative remember? There are endless amounts of ways that one could creatively give someone a bouquet of flowers. Remember the scavenger hunt/treasure map idea? Try having the list/map delivered with a big bouquet of roses.

My personal favorite was when my boyfriend took me out to a very classy restaurant and – unbeknownst to me – he had earlier given them a bouquet to bring out with champagne when we arrived that evening. Needless to say, he had me in tears.

Romantic

Wouldn’t be much of a date if it wasn’t romantic right? This is where you can really show her how much she means to you. When most guys think of romance they think of flowers, candles, hugs, kisses, blah blah blah. Not to say those things aren’t romantic, however lots of girls have a completely different idea of romance than their male counterpart.

For instance, one of the most romantic things you can do for your woman is something you hate. Wait what did she just say? Let me explain. Say she is a big fan of Justin Bieber, a real die hard “Belieber”, and you, like most men, can’t stand his music. Nothing will impress her more than tickets for the two of you to see the Biebs when he comes to town, pretty romantic right? I know that this is a very extreme example, but you get the point. Man up, bite the bullet, and make your woman happy!

Alright gentlemen, what have we learned here? That women are crazy? No. They’re crazy about you. They just want you to show them you are too. So whether it’s as simple as dressing up, flowers and/or as elaborate as a full blown scavenger hunt across town- do something special for your lady. Show her you genuinely care about her. Show her you are willing to go to whatever ends to make her happy. Next time it’s date night and your girl asks what’s on the agenda, she will be ecstatic when the repetitive “whatever you want to do honey” is replaced by, “I have something special planned!”

Maintaining the Romance in a Long-Distance Relationship

July 25, 2013 By GetTheGirl

If you haven’t met her face to face yet, there will be a moment when you both know its time! And it very likely will be spontaneous.

Like lots of guys nowadays, I met a girl online. Emails turned into phone calls which resulted in sparks. The only problem was she lived in New Orleans and I was 500 miles away in Gainesville, Florida. Phone calls sustained us for a few weeks, but soon I knew I had to see her in person, so one night I asked, “how about if I come see you tomorrow?” Moments later, the flight was booked.

After our first weekend together, we both knew there was potential for a genuine, loving relationship. On the plane ride home, the question gnawed at me, “how could we continue exploring and nurturing this relationship while hundreds of miles apart?” This would be a first for me – and her – and I knew it would require a little more effort than dating someone down the street.

So, I used the following means to keep things going while we were hundreds of miles apart.

Flowers are Essential

It’s cliché for a reason. Most women I’ve met enjoy receiving flowers, especially at work. A dozen red roses are nice, but she’ll be more impressed if you subtly find out her favorite flower and send a bouquet unexpectedly. If you have a hard time working the question into casual conversation, ask one of her friends. A woman should also feel free to send flowers to her man. While few guys will outwardly admit it, it’s flattering to receive flowers, regardless of gender.

Unexpected Gifts are the Best Kind

Flowers are lovely, but sometimes you need to mix things up. Find an original gift to send her way. It doesn’t have to be expensive, just thoughtful. The more personal, the better. One of the first gifts I sent my wife was a teddy bear gift basket. The teddy bear still sits on her dresser to this day. She sent me a 12-pack of a New Orleans beer that she introduced me to on one of my first visit. (Of course, the beer had a much shorter shelf life than the teddy bear.) It’s all about little demonstrations showing you care.

Talk Daily

Long distance relationships are becoming more common, and can be very worthwhile if you take the right steps in nurturing it.

This one is critical. Pick up the phone and talk to one another every evening. Some conversations may last two hours, others just five minutes. It’s not about the length of the call, it’s about caring enough to make the call an integral part of your daily life. Couples need that regular, ongoing connection and email doesn’t cut it. And remember, no matter how bad your day was, try to go into the call with a positive attitude. After all, talking to the person you love should be exciting, the best part of your day.

Make the Trip – Whatever it Takes

While living in different states, she and I made a point to see each other in person at least once a month. One month I would fly to New Orleans, the next she would fly to Gainesville. Yes, it got expensive and we both burned through a lot of vacation time, but there’s no substitute for sharing the same physical space. If finances preclude you from flying, get in the car. If it’s too far to drive for a weekend visit, meet halfway and enjoy a mini-vacation.

Communicate About Where Things are Going

Communication is always the key to a great relationship, but it’s especially important when you live far apart. Make sure you’re in sync about where you hope the relationship will lead. If one of you is just having a good time while the other envisions walking down the aisle, it’s especially painful. Don’t assume you’re on the same page, talk about it. Once you decide it’s time to make the commitment, don’t hesitate. To steal a line from When Harry Met Sally, “when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.”

Well, it must have worked because five years later, we’re still together, married three years and going strong. I certainly don’t know everything about love, but by using the techniques above, I proved how to “get the girl!”

—

About the Author

Damion Wasylow is a freelance writer who met his wife online in 2008. They live in Gainesville, Florida and plan to add to their family in the near future. In his free time, Damion enjoys traveling, reading and watching sports on TV.

Five Things You Need to Do Before the First Date

July 21, 2013 By GetTheGirl

You will feel less nervous and a lot more confident when you are well prepared for that first date.

First dates are extremely important as they are the moment when you get to provide your date with a first, and often long lasting impression. So naturally you are going to be feeling a little nervous and scared about this situation, and will want to do everything that you can to make it go as well as possible.

A good confidence booster is knowing that she already said yes!

You will most likely find yourself asking the question “What do I need to do before my first date”? If you are, then there is no need to look any further as here are 5 things you need to do before a first date. Tick all of these things off and you can be pretty certain that your first date will turn out extremely well.

Research for Things to Talk About
Doing a bit of research for a first date may seem a little extreme and too much like a chore, but it is something that everyone going on a first date should do. In the days leading up to the first date, you should spend a little time researching current events and interesting topics. This will allow you to bring them up during the first date in order to make some great conversation. A good way to start is by reading newspapers and browsing websites such as Reddit and Mashable, as they always have funny, interesting, and unique things on that would be great to use for a first date.

Get to know her better, even before your first date by doing a little research on her.

Try And Find Out A Little Bit About Her
As well as researching for things to talk about on your first date, it is vital that you find out a little bit about your date. This doesn’t mean hiring a private investigator to carry out a covert operation on her, but just finding out a few things about her. You can either do this by having a quick look at her social media profiles e.g. Facebook, Twitter, Google+ and Linkedin, or by subtly inquiring via text message. Whichever way you choose, just make sure to find out some of the things she likes such as what she enjoys doing, her favorite music genre, what she studies or her job or profession. Depending on how much information you find out, be careful not to reveal it to her too quickly. You don’t want her to feel like you were spying on her because she might feel very uncomfortable you knowing too much so soon. However, you can use some of this knowledge about her as topic starters. For example, if there is a hobby or interest that you both share, you can start talking about how much you like this hobby and/or something pertaining to your common interests. She will certainly get involved in the conversation and begin to feel a common bond with you.

Don’t forget to check for nose, ear, and stray eyebrow hairs.

Groom Yourself
For a first date you always need to be well groomed. This means getting your haircut and having a shave. It is highly suggested that you don’t pick this moment for a new hairstyle and instead stick to the style that you usually have.

On the day of your date, it is vital that you have the closest shave you can. Whisker burns hurt! Having a wet shave and using a high quality shaving brush will allow you to achieve this. Make sure to take your time ensuring that you don’t miss any spots or nick yourself!

Pick Out Some Good Clothes to Wear
It’s a great idea to decide upon the clothes you are going to wear well before the date. This means picking clothes that are going to impress your date, and that are going to be appropriate for the occasion. It wouldn’t make sense to get suited and booted if you’re only meeting for a coffee. Also on a final note, make sure the clothes you are going to wear are freshly cleaned and ironed to perfection.

Sleep
You have researched some topics to talk about, you’ve found out what you can about your date, groomed yourself superbly and have picked out some suitable clothes—the last thing that you need to do before the first date is sleep. As hard as it may be, try not to worry and think over things too much. You should feel very relaxed knowing that you have adequately prepared for your date. So get some sleep because it is very important that you are not yawning and appearing uninterested in her during the date.

Author Bio
This is a guest post written by Kate Simmons, a creative freelance writer who enjoys sharing her tips and advice on various blogs.