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Meeting Women Online

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David Deangelo recently interviewed a gentleman named Grant Adams in his Interviews With Dating Gurus series.  Grant Adams, who is also known in the dating world as Adam Gilad, as it turns out, knows quite a bit about how to meet and attract women –      especially when it comes to meeting women online.  Grant Adams tells David DeAngelo that he uses a particular communication style online that “short-circuits” a woman’s defenses… and simultaneously super charges her attraction.

Not only that, but Adam has figured out simple changes that ANY guy can make to his pictures, profile, and emails that dramatically increase the amount of responses you get from women almost instantly – so YOU can begin meeting women online.

Here are some killer dating tips for meeting women online from Grant Adams:

1. Make your strengths and attributes really stand out.  Most guys described themselves in SELF-CRITICAL ways. They put themselves down, saying things like, “My name is Eric. You can call me Mr. Lonely…” This is a downer and will not help with meeting women online.  Grant found that if he could convey his strengths in an attractive, factual, and sensual way… he’d be eons ahead of his “competition” online. And that’s exactly what he did.   Take these strengths and show-case them in your profile or online and then COMBINE them with a vision of romance that paints a picture of a life that’s more exciting than the life she’s living.  This shows her that you are not only a man who knows who he is, but that you’re a guy who can bring her a new realization of how great life can be.  Communicating to women on this level drives them absolutely CRAZY… and you need to try it out.

2. Show them your confidence!  Grant Adams believes that every guy has things about him that are attractive to the average woman. The only problem is we usually don’t know what they are. And even if we do, we don’t know how to communicate them in a way that AMPLIFIES or MAGNIFIES them… in a cool, not self-involved sort of way. Grant Adams suggested when trying to meet women online that when you describe your confidence and strengths, don’t use weak – yet all too common – phrases like “some people say I am…” or “I’m sort of…” Instead, demonstrate that you’re a guy who knows who you are by describing yourself in bold, clear terms. Don’t exaggerate… but don’t be wishy-washy either. And Grant pointed out something very interesting.  He said that when you focus on your strengths instead of your weaknesses the people around you will ALSO focus on your strengths.

3. Expand Your “Self”.  Here’s another killer dating tip Grant shared with David Deangelo.  Never let a woman online define you.   Ever seen a profile with the headline “Skater Guy” or “Nature Lover” or “Dr. Doolittle”? Most guys love to label themselves with a characteristic. But the problem is that once a woman can easily label you, much of the MYSTERY is gone… and she just won’t be as interested.  Grant Adams says that is one of the basic laws of attraction, whether you are meeting women online or in person.  However, if a woman reads your words and gets a sense that you’re deeper than your words say – that your words suggest more than they describe – then you’re in good shape. Relay that you can’t be defined – that you’re unpredictable and dynamic – and she’ll become irresistibly curious about all of the interesting side-streets of your personality waiting to be discovered.

4. Show Her You’re Sensual.  And yes, you can do this when meeting women online!  Every woman wants a man who appreciates the “senses”… a man so “in touch”, that he can ignite powerful, passionate feelings inside of her. But if you’ve ever done any “reconnaissance” online and read other guys’ profiles – I’m sure you’ve seen that most men have NO CLUE about how to attract women… let alone “ignite feelings” in a woman who they are trying to meet. Lucky you!

So how do you do this? Well unfortunately, you can’t just TELL a woman directly “Oh, I can make you feel great.” You must demonstrate your ability to make her feel good through the way you COMMUNICATE. Grant says that to create feelings in women over the web, you need to use vivid details. For instance, he suggests that if you talk about the food you enjoy, don’t just say you like fine wine… talk about how you love how a fine wine changes textures as it rolls around in your mouth.  If you talk about a walk on the beach, don’t just say you like walking on the beach, describe in detail how you love the feeling of warm sand between your toes. Grant Adams suggests using sensual words like bare, ripe, supple, soft, sway, feline, tender, etc. When you use words like these, although you’re not talking directly about sex… you send a strong message that you know how to make her feel GREAT.   And that’s what every woman wants to hear… in a subtle, mature, sensual way.  This takes meeting women online and makes it more real to them, more immediate.

5. Create An Electrifying Life.  Another point Grant made that seems obvious, but most guys miss is that if you want to be interesting to a woman, you have to lead an interesting life… and do interesting things. For example, let’s say there’s a woman you see online who you want to meet.  She says she’s adventurous but you really haven’t done many adventurous things in your life. If you met her, you wouldn’t be able to connect on the “adventure” level.   Grant suggests to step out of your comfort zone and DO something adventurous… jump out of a plane… go bungee jumping… do something that’s “radical” and BOLD. Now you have a very interesting experience you can talk about, not only with HER… but with EVERY woman you meet online or in person for the rest of your life. Another way to expand your horizons and make yourself more interesting is to take some classes on things you find interesting and that women might find interesting as well -like cooking, wine, or art.   Most men are so afraid to try something or to take a class of any kind out of fear of embarrassment. But if you show a woman that you’re willing to “step out” there and expand who you are… it makes a DRAMATIC impact. Even simple things like mentioning that you looked at a book on cooking, or visited a wine-tasting website, show that you’re the type of guy who is constantly evolving and improving yourself which ALL women find very attractive.

Get Her To OPEN Your Email!

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Are you having trouble getting women to OPEN your emails?

Are you are struggling to FIGURE OUT what you need to do, so women will actually read the emails you send them?

Or maybe you’re having problems FINDING real, practical, “no BS” advice that really works?

If you answered YES to any of the above, Don’t get bent out of shape on this yet… I want you to know 2 things:

1. This problem is easy to fix.

2. You’re not alone. Most other guys make the same mistake 🙂

A mere 15 characters of text (or less) may be all that stands between you and meeting the woman of your dreams.

Getting a woman’s attention on virtually any online dating site is becoming harder than ever. And guess what? There’s a good chance…

YOUR EMAILS MIGHT BE INVISIBLE!

The good news is that you can fix this right now. I will get you up to speed quickly.

Don’t worry, it’s nothing painful. In fact, the advice I’m about to share with you will almost guarantee more women will open and read your emails

… Without sending any more emails than you’re sending right now, without following 864 steps, doing the MoonWalk, or really doing any more “work” than you’re doing right now for that matter.

It’s really easy.

I always say it: ONE advantage is all you need to start meeting women online, and to separate yourself from the masses.

All you need is one little “trick”, a competitive advantage, to get ahead of the competition.

If you can double the # of women who read your emails, then you can be just “average” with everything else, and you will STILL meet women online.

Online dating can be easy and fun for you… if you use the right methods. In a world where everyone seems to be isolated in cars, office cubicles, surgically attached to their blackberry’s, cell phones and ipods —

WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO GRAB WOMEN’S ATTENTION?

Fact is, it’s pretty hard to meet women online. It’s getting nasty out there competition-wise. And here is an unfair advantage handed to you on a silver platter.

You’re about to discover something most guys NEVER figure out… until it’s too late.

And, guess what? A lot of guys blame themselves when they don’t get the results they had hoped for right away.

They think, “maybe I’m doing something wrong”…. or “women are not interested in me because… I’m not good looking”…. (or fill in any other reason you can think of).

Maybe you’re frustrated and confused on just HOW to meet women online yourself right now, maybe you’re struggling at this very crucial point in your life.

I *KNOW* what that’s like. I went through the same thing. And all I can say is this:

IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT!

What you’ve been taught and what you’ve been studying about online dating has probably gotten in your way more than it’s helped.

I can’t emphasize this strongly enough: those who ACT on the specific recommendations I make in this newsletter will have a cutting-edge advantage over their “so called” competition.

Ok, let’s get down to business.

POP QUIZ

What is the first rule of online dating?

Do you know?

Answer: Your email MUST get opened.

The first rule of meeting women online is that your emails MUST get opened — and unless you know how to “cut through the clutter”, your email won’t ever be seen or heard.

It doesn’t matter how great your message is if nobody knows about it.

Or more accurately, that killer email… the one you just spent 15 minutes writing and thought was so great, was completely for nothing, UNLESS it gets opened.

One of the many observations I’ve made about how to get a woman’s attention online is you MUST understand this from a woman’s point of view. I want you to consider this for a moment…

Take any cute woman at a party. Most don’t have 100 guys lined up, waiting to talk to them.

The only real difference is… on virtually any online personals site -THEY DO!

In fact, these same women are probably getting 10, 15, 20 TIMES the amount of emails you get… each day.

Imagine if… all of a sudden, you’ve never had much attention from women before, you aren’t expecting much, and then… BAM!

You check your inbox and in less in than an hour, 20, 40, 60… 100… 140 emails from new people all wanting to get to know you.

I hope that just hit you like a sledgehammer right upside your head.

… And why am I bringing this up?

Well, in case you haven’t guessed it already, something you say or do has to reach out and GRAB the quality women online.

Now let’s switch gears and talk about ways you can “stack the deck” in your favor. If you follow what I’m about to tell you, expect to get more of your emails open and read.

Here’s the scoop:

If you’re like most people these days, you can barely keep up with the sheer volume of email flooding your inbox on a daily basis.

Most people sort through emails by looking at the SUBJECT LINE first. From there we often delete anything that doesn’t immediately capture our attention.

Okay… so what does this have to do with meeting women online?

Well… a LOT.

Because the goal of your subject line is to create anticipation and suspense. And the better it is, the better the response will be to your emails

Here’s the logic, and you should really listen closely …

When writing your subject lines, you want women so overcome with curiosity they can’t help but wonder…

“WHAT THE HELL IS INSIDE THAT EMAIL?”

Now, I want to talk with you about three expert techniques or “shortcuts” you should consider when writing your subject lines.

Tactic #1: Your subject line must be intriguing.

Lets face it, if your subject line doesn’t make her CURIOUS, if it doesn’t have an air of “mystery” to it, not too many women are going to want to open it.

Make it intriguing, suspenseful, think of it as a “cover story” you’d find in one of the tabloids. It grabs your attention and you somehow want to know more. (even if you don’t want to admit it).

Tell her JUST ENOUGH to make her have to know more. The only way to know more is to of course, open your email.

The reason this is so effective is because it’s based on the number one thing women crave…
CURIOSITY.

Need I say more?

Let me give you a great “real-life” example I use:

Subject: “I like your style, but…”
Subject: “I liked your profile, but…”

Women read this and wonder, “ok… you liked it, but… WHAT?”

Tactic #2: Make a promise

Let women know they can expect something interesting inside the email. The question you want to answer in the subject line (and emails for that matter) is:

“WHY should I read your email?”

Think about this from a woman’s point of view:

1. What’s in it for HER?

2. Why should she even care about your email?

3. Why should she bother reading it?

It must make a promise.

Tactic #3: Don’t try TOO hard.

Oh, this is the biggest mistake most guys make.

Most guys try to be too “cute”. They THINK they’re really clever and coming off the like a guy who gets it…

But women see through this immediately and see this as a BIG RED FLAG. They think you’re trying too hard to get something from them.

Women will dismiss you and delete your email because they are convinced you don’t “get it”.

Just remember, it’s a balancing act, but in the end, “less is more”.

Now it’s up to you.

Take your new tactical ‘subject line’ strategy and put it into play and you will enjoy an immediate advantage.

Now.

Don’t get stuck with your mind racing full of cool new ideas. You need to put those ideas to work for you right away!

Just reading this newsletter will not somehow “magically” transform your online love life…

It’s up to you to take action.

And like any other factors in life, in the very beginning it might be a little awkward.

I know this is probably a lot to digest, but it only provides a taste of what you’ll find inside Insider Internet Dating.

My point is this:

If “picking up” women in bars and clubs is NOT your thing, if it doesn’t come natural for you…

And if what I’m saying makes sense to you… and you’d like to learn how to learn the skills to meet women online… while at the same time overcoming the obstacles that can hold guys like you and me back from the success with women we deserve… then you need to seriously consider getting the Meeting Women Online program.

If you’re as smart as a fifth grader – you can do this.  All I know is it works great for me and I think it will work for you too.

Mingles Reviewed

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Mingles is one of the newer online dating sites where you can meet new people, create lasting relationships, mingle, or just have a great time! One of the unique features of Mingles is that they offer a very extensive free membership to their site, as well as the lowest priced paid membership that I have come across. The paid membership that Mingles offers is only $24.95 per YEAR, and it offers all the amenities of the free section plus a few more, as well as no advertising and additional support options for the site. For some guys that may just be worth the $2 a month!

On Mingles, it is always free to chat with other singles. With a free membership to Mingles you can not only post your profile and add photos of yourself, but you can also add a voice message which is a pretty unique feature and not one you would expect to find on a free site. Mingles also offers a feature called
Copyright ©You Can Get The Girl | MatchMaker
PhotoChat as well as message boards where you can search for members, receive email from other members ( and reply to emails you receive).

If you ante up the twenty four bucks, you can initiate unlimited email contacts and “winks” with other members, receive top placement in search results (THAT is a great boon), access mingle-matching (find members who are interested in you), plus access hidden chat rooms and message boards.

“Mingling” is a feature of Mingles that is totally unique to the online dating site world. Mingling means searching for people who have created descriptions that fit the profile you are wanting, much like eHarmony but simpler and quite a bit less expensive.

At Mingles they also offer a “hot list.” So when you find a profile of a single you think is attractive, you are able to add them to your hotlist or favorites. In Mingles’ unique photo chat room, you can see photos of the person you are speaking with.

Online Dating And Blind Dates

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Let’s talk old school for a bit.

It used to be that a ‘blind date’ came about by a simple conversation. Someone you know (preferably) came up to you, sensing for better or worse that you were basically dateless, and said, “You know, I have this friend you HAVE to meet. You two would LOOOVE each other.” Usually this would-be matchmaker was female, as it has always seemed to me that women love to take on that role (e.g. find me an “It’s Just Lunch” franchise with a male director).

If you were like me, being the willing accomplices such that we were, you’d tend to go, “Uh…sure…why not? What do I have to lose?” Now, considering most of us guys are all about spending large sums of cash securing first dates that “impress women” with how artificial and awkward they are you actually had PLENTY to lose. But whatever…that was beside the point.

So you went on the date. And your brain would start to mess with you…hard. We’re talking fried circuits.

I’ll elaborate more on that in a minute.

First, however, let’s teleport back into the present. If you are like millions of others scattered across the four corners of the virtual landscape, you’ve discovered the masterpiece that is “online dating”. You know by now that we’re huge believers in online dating around here, and hope you are too. (If not, Skype me at “scotmckay”. We have ways of replicating that mindset.)

This, then, naturally means that “blind dates” have become a multi-billion dollar industry. No longer is this all limited to your Aunt Gertrude setting you up with her bridge partner’s brace-faced niece. Not really. This is the 21st century, boys and girls.

And come on, let’s get down to it: When you meet someone you met on an online dating site for the first time, it really is a blind date.

Profile narratives? Telephone conversations? IM? Even pictures? All essentially meaningless in the real world much of the time. When that person darkens the door to Starbucks you might very well be darkened also. Or else you’ll light up. Or…your brain will start to mess with you, like I said. After all, it’s a blind date.

So what do I mean?

As much as most guys have issues with approaching women, there is one undeniable factor involved there that can bring a lot of clarity to a man’s life if he lets it. When you approach women YOU are FULLY AWARE of who’s doing it for you and who isn’t. If you walk up to the most attractive woman in the place, verify that she’s a high-quality woman–and she’s digging your chili–then you KNOW THE SCORE. Way to deserve what you want. If you go through 20 or 30 women before one actually will hang out with you, you also KNOW THE SCORE. You are SETTLING.

On a blind date, that’s all off the table and you get no such frame of reference, really. You have not chosen someone from a field of many. You simply have a certain person in front of you…RIGHT HERE. RIGHT NOW. You are actually on a real, live DATE with this person. The “heavy lifting” of getting to that step has been done for you.

And that’s where “lazy” goes “crazy”. And the longer it has been since you’ve been on a quality date, the more hallucinatory the trip gets.

One of the key hallmarks of a wildly successful dating life is that you are comfortable weeding out people who do not meet your exacting standards. This is not a matter of snobbery, it’s a matter of necessity when you have options. Simply put, relationships that are not exactly platonic are not exactly the place for philanthropy. If you want to save the world, team up with the greatest person you’ve ever met when that happens and save the world together. When you are talking about something as mission-critical as having the right MOTOS in your life, then charity cases need not apply.

But until we get to that place…the Wildly Successful Dating Place…we often let certain insidious factors creep to the top of our list when deciding who we’re going to date and/or talk ourselves into being attractive to. These factors are (in order), 1) “This person actually finds me attractive, therefore I’m attracted”, 2) “This person is actually available, therefore I’m available”, and 3) “We’re already on a date, so the convenience of this set up sure beats having to go out and dredge up someone else”.

Last week we talked about being “clouded by beauty vision”. Now we’re talking about being flat-out “blinded by blind dates”.

No joke.

Seriously, here’s where the rubber meets the road: If you had seen this person you are on a date with out in public prior to being set up on a date together, would you have even TAKEN NOTICE? Here’s the crazy part…often, if you have the guts to ask yourself that question on a first date with someone you met online (or who the admin over in Accounting recommended, for that matter) you have to answer, “You know, I DON’T KNOW.”

It’s true. Sometimes your brain plays tricks on you to the point where you simply can’t separate where the “butterflies” of being on an actual date with someone end and real, natural attraction starts. So yeah, you go on a second date, and you may even be excited about it. But your brain is flipped out over this. What is REAL here?

Thankfully, I believe there are several reliable metrics you can apply that will give very real clarity (vision?) to the situation:

1) Would you be proud to introduce your date to your friends? This is HUGE. If you are embarrassed by this concept, you’re only fooling yourself.

2) Have you seen someone else during the course of the first date who caused your attention to wander? If you’re at breakfast and can’t keep your eyes off the chick in the booth over there, it’s your judgment that’s been scrambled and/or fried over hard.

3) Are you more excited about seeing this person again, or more excited to just be dating someone? Can you clearly see the difference between these two states of mind? It’s important to do so.

4) Were you bored at any time during the first date? If you find your mind drifting, you’re kidding yourself if you think there’s chemistry there.

5) Do you find yourself justifying and/or wishing away certain flaws? Remember, there’s a real-world difference between “perfectly imperfect” and straight-up “not right”. “Perfect imperfections” endear you to someone. That’s good. Justifying stuff that irritates you or turns you off? That’s settling.

6) Are you using all the time spent on e-mail, IM and telephone prior to actually meeting this person (or Lord forbid—the cost of the plane tickets) as a weapon against yourself to “give this a chance” despite your gut reaction? Stop kidding around. It’s going nowhere. Welcome to why most online dating experts recommend moving from first e-mail to first meeting ASAP.

So there you have it. A half-dozen highly practical principles you can use like a GPS to find your mental bearings and get your head around “blind dates”.

In closing, here’s some good news. Once you deserve what you want, it’s amazing how well “blind dates” can go.

Even back in college there was a time when a friend set me up over the summer with a girl who was going to be in the incoming freshman class where I was going to school. I remember being impressed when I met her, but in retrospect I now recognize how I struggled with a lot of the things I’ve written about in this newsletter. We decided to enter the school year as “friends”, but once we were at school together I found myself choosing her over all other options. So my friend had his game on when he set me up with her. Looking back, of the “clarity factors” above were in check.

And yes, the fateful morning Emily and I met all the boxes were checked…even though both of us had options. And that’s about as much 20/20 foresight as a blind date can offer.

10 Tips On How To Meet Women Online

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Here are 10 essential and quick tips that will help YOU meet women online. Go for it!

Meeting Women Online TIP #1: Mention Something About Her Profile

Make sure you address a thing or 2 about her profile in your initial email.  Women will know when you’re mass mailing out these emails UNLESS you customize each one to them.  It should only take a few more minutes per email so its not that big of a deal but it WILL increase your results vs. not adding anything in.

Meeting Women Online TIP #2:  Add A Call To Action

What do you want the woman to do as a result of reading that email?  Well, I know you want her to respond, so tell her that. Let her know that if she’s interested you’d like to hear back from her. You can say something like:

If you find (this email/my profile) interesting, I’d like to hear back from you.

Or something similar.

The point is, you need to lead the woman and tell her what you’d like her to do as a result of reading the email.

Meeting Women Online TIP #3: Spell Check

Make sure you have no spelling errors when you’re sending out these emails. There’s nothing worse than a woman reading your email and saying to herself, ‘Wow, this guy can’t spell.’ It totally gives off the wrong impression and puts you behind the 8 ball from the get-go. It takes 30 seconds to run a spell check in your word processing program (15 minutes if you use Microsoft WORD. LOL)

Meeting Women Online TIP #4: Ask A Female Friend

Once you’ve gone through and reworked your profile, go ahead and ask a female friend of yours to have a quick look at it and give you her opinion on it.  If you’ve got an odd sense of humour, it might come off as you being VERY weird and might scare off some women, so DON’T try too hard. Remember the goal of the profile is to let women know you’re a cool, confident, classy, charismatic guy.

Think of your profile as a brochure. Its a point of reference for women to go back to.

Meeting Women Online TIP #5: Show And Tell

What I mean by this is that if you say that you’re athletic, then give an example of what types of sports/activities you enjoy. If you say that you like movies, which ones? State it, then back it up with something a bit more detailed.

Meeting Women Online TIP #6: Your Photos

Rule number 1 with photos is to NEVER EVER have a photo with no shirt on. Its very tacky and women typically will laugh at it regardless of how great your 6 pack abs are. I always recommend using the photos to show off your lifestyle… Give women a glimpse of what you’re like, what type of life you lead. Have a photo in a suit. Its classy and women always love a man in a suit and tie. If you’re balding, that’s o.k. don’t wear a hat in every picture because women will think that’s being deceitful. They want to see what’s up before they meet you. Listen whatever issue you have about your looks/body make it her problem not yours. You’re a great guy and you need to project that to each and every woman that you come in contact with.

Meeting Women Online TIP #7: No Winks

Never send a wink. it shows that you’ve got no confidence and are waiting for the woman to make the first move. Remember that women love confident men and by sending a wink, she knows right away that you lack confidence. It’s o.k. if she sends you a wink but sending her a wink isn’t going to work well for you.

Meeting Women Online TIP #8: Get Her Number Already!

There’s absolutely no reason to wait 3+ emails to ask her for her number. If you’re a reader of this newsletter, you know that I preach getting her number the SECOND time you email her. It shows that you’re busy, you don’t have time for these ‘online relationships’ and you have a life. The longer you wait to ask her for her number, the lower her interest becomes.

Strike while the interest is high.

Meeting Women Online TIP #9: Make Her Laugh

When you finally do get her on the phone, make sure you make her feel comfortable. Remember that’s she’s probably a bit nervous talking to some random guy that she met on the internet. Women have this fear of meeting some whacko, so make sure you ease her fears. Once you’ve done that, your next goal should be to make her laugh… A lot.

Talk about funny things, maybe experiences that you’ve had while doing this. If you haven’t been out with anyone yet, then talk about some funny emails you may have gotten. Its a great way to break the ice.

Meeting Women Online TIP # 10: Have A Plan

Like in any sport, you need a plan for each step of the way. Dating is usually a ‘taboo’ topic for most guys to talk about with their buddies. We don’t want to feel like we’re losers or dorks and we usually feel like less of a man if we ask for help. Trust me, I’ve been there. Listen, Is there anything wrong with a guy that wants a plan? Because maybe because he’s nervous, or unsure about what to do in certain situations. Is there really anything wrong with that?

Is there anything wrong with a guy wanting to make sure that everything goes well, that he doesn’t have to stress out about what to do each step of the way? Or so that he doesn’t blow a TON of cash each time he meets a woman? Is that so wrong?

We get one chance to make this work with women, ONE chance. We blow it and we can kiss that woman goodbye forever, so why not give yourself every opportunity to make it work?

I think that’s smart. If you’re reading this and saying to yourself ‘I really need to improve what I’m doing’ because you’re NOT getting the results you want with meeting women online then I couldn’t agree with you more. Getting success with this part of your life doesn’t just ‘Happen’. Sure you might have some good experiences here and there because you were either speaking to the right girl at the right time or got a girl that was more needy than you were…

But consistent success with meeting women online is the result of knowing EXACTLY what to do each step of the way and then being able to do it. Its about learning the exact SEQUENCE.