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How to Get More by Asking More

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I want to introduce you to a unique concept that may finally change how you view your game with women.
I want to introduce you to a unique concept that may finally change how you view your game with women. First, let’s talk about your inner monologue, dude.

One of the most powerful personal development methods you can use to alter the course of your life (your DESTINY, really) is through the use of QUESTIONS.

Questions cut through and clarify the current state of affairs, and they help you see what may not have been visible before. However, they can only do this if you have the guts to answer them TRUTHFULLY. The man who lies to himself can never see the world clearly, and will then subject every bit of his reality to illusion – like looking at the world through distorted glass. In the short-term, he’ll make himself feel ‘better’ about things by lying to himself, but in the long-term he’ll just ensure his own failure.

Success is fleeting when it’s based on faulty understanding.

Ask yourself a few questions to clarify where YOU are right now:

  • Are you looking for just one woman to “settle down” with? If so, why?
  • Do you want to sleep with as many women as you can? And why?
  • Are you feeling that your skills in meeting and getting women interested in you are where you want them to be? If not, what are you doing to remedy this situation?
  • If you know you want something (a woman, a new job, a more comfortable social life), what is stopping you from having it?
  • Do you ever feel incapable of doing the things you know you need to do? Do you wish you had a “magic button” you could push that would get you in gear when you need to?

These questions focus on the one critical element of any drive to change your life: your MOTIVATION. Asking yourself questions allows you to find out what it is that kicks you in the ass and gets you moving toward your goals.

Without understanding what it is that drives you, you could spend your whole life saying something like this:
“I wish I knew somewhere to go to meet women.”
“I have the worst luck with women.”
“Yeah, I’ll be at work late. You know me – I’ve got no life.” (Even jokingly.)
“I’m happy being single.” (When it’s a cop-out for failures with women.)
“Yeah, I know, BUT…” (“But” what?)
“I’ll just rent a movie at home tonight…”
“I can’t find any women that are right for me…” (While only “meeting” one woman every couple of weeks or months at best.)

If there’s one person you have to tell the truth to in the end, it’s yourself, guys. The reality is that the ONLY way to improve your situation with women is to get out there and interact with MORE women. Of every kind imaginable. Friends, lovers, acquaintances, you name it. QUANTITY is the name of the game. MORE women means MORE opportunities. It’s a simple numbers game.

MORE women means more successes… and more failures. Remember that the sports superstars don’t just succeed more, they also fail more. But the failures aren’t failures to them, and they don’t mean anything to them. When you’re in a scarcity (and SCARED-ity) mindset, the failures hurt so much because they comprise a high proportion of your game.

If you meet 2 women and strike out with 1, that’s 50%. If you meet 10 women and strike out with 5, that’s still 50%, but you bet your ass you don’t care as much when you’ve got the other 5 saying “Yes, please.” Your RATIO of failures is the same, but you’ve just multiplied your successes by FIVE.

Pretty slick, huh? Let’s call this seduction math.

If the woman you’re looking for is one-in-a-thousand, guess how many women you’re likely to have to go through to find her?

“Uhhh…. heheh… Dude… I’m not good at math…”

Well, it would be nice if she showed up in the first ten or fifteen, but that’s not how Murphy’s Law works. If you have a 1 in 1000 shot, chances are your number will come up right around the end… say, Ms. 999 or Ms. 1000. So get busy.

If you find yourself saying “I’m just not lucky with women,” it’s nothing about LUCK. It’s that you aren’t exposing yourself to enough women to warrant MORE success.

EVERY question and problem works itself out if you approach enough women. EVERY bit of understanding and skill comes from the number of women you get into your life by taking action. Knowledge isn’t power – it’s only POTENTIAL. ACTION is what separates the men from the boys.

EVERY problem you’re having with your dating life right now can be traced back to some root causes, but most wind up being that guys simply don’t TRY enough. They don’t try, and they don’t succeed, and then they don’t ask themselves the all-important question:
What can *I* do to change this situation, instead of blaming something outside my control or sphere of influence?

And, that all-important follow up:
What do I need to start thinking in order to motivate myself to actually DO IT?

Ask yourself those hard questions. The difference in the quality of your life can be traced back to the decisions you make every day.

And every decision started out as a question.

Learn What Women REALLY Want – a REAL MAN

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Have you ever heard a woman ask the question, “Where have all the real men gone?”  I know, you want to just shake her and ask her what the HELL she is talking about, right?  Well, the thing is – it seems that this “sensitive revolution” has basically neutered the male population.

Some people attribute that to the fact that more and more men are being raised by single women.  Others say that we are all doing it to ourselves – taking everything out of life that might accidentally offend an individual’s beliefs – trying to neuter EVERYTHING (like taking “God” out of the pledge of allegiance, taking the discipline out of schools and making sure everything that we say is politically correct to name a few methods).

Whatever you believe – it’s happening.  Society is turning Namby Pamby – and the women are the ones voicing it, asking where all the real men have gone.   To try to find a REAL man, women have developed a screening process – a test, if you will, to see if a man is a real man, or a wuss in man’s clothing.

You’ll notice women doing this when they are exploring the possibility of a relationship with you – like on a first date, or when things begin to become intimate.  This is how the beautiful women separate the men from the boys.  She is trying to find out, basically, if you are an alpha male.

There are many forms tests can take, of course, but once you are familiar with a few of them, you will be able to recognize them for what they are, and PASS them.  She might ask you for a gift or something she wants.  She could act snotty or have a tantrum, to see what she can get away with, or cancel your plans without notice to see what you do.  She might even tell you that you are annoying her to see if you will change your behavior.  (By the way, I learned all this by watching David DeAngelo’s program called On Being a Man!)

Now – these things may seem small to you.  However, to a woman, they are CRITICAL.  If you fail one of these tests, she is going to do one of two things – she is going to realize you are a wuss and not a real man and will walk all over you until she gets bored with you and then she will leave, or she will just realize you are a wuss and leave then.

So – how do you pass these tests and show her you are an alpha male?  Well, let’s imagine for a moment that you are a wolf – the leader of the pack, the alpha male who gets ALL the females in the pack.  If a female wolf came up tot eh alpha male and said, “Buy me this pretty trinket and I will give you the night of your life…” – what do you think he would do?  Would he go running off to the nearest wolf jewelry store and buy it?  Or would he laugh and say “Are you serious???  I hope not, because if you have not noticed, there are plenty of females in this pack besides you.”

Or, say for instance, one of the female wolves tells the alpha male that she is annoyed by something he does.  Does the alpha wolf say “OMG I am SO sorry!  I won’t EVER do that again!”   (I actually can see David DeAngelo cringing at that, sorry man!)  Uhhhhh – NO.  He will give her a playful smile and say, “Oh REALLY?” – and then he will do it again just to show her that she is not the alpha – HE IS.

And guys – this is IMPORTANT.  Women talk about Prince Charming – how they just KNOW he is out there and what all he will do for them.  But did you ever notice that Prince Charming has to know how to fight, how to keep the kingdom running, sweep her off her feet and take her to a destination of HIS choosing?  Prince Charming does not ask the Princess if she would like to be rescued today.  He takes charge and DOES IT, and she will follow.  If you want to learn more about being an alpha male, then take a look at David DeAngelo’s program, On Being a Man, and start giving women what they really want.

You Want to Please Her? Then Tease Her!

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If you meet more women, you get more experience, you get more confidence, you get laid more, and more options open up to you. If you date only a few women, you tend to cling on to each as if she was your saving grace.

So let’s start developing some EXERCISES that will get you on the track to understanding how to meet women at any time and any place. All you need to do is open your eyes and set aside a couple minutes to speak with her, if that. This is going to work ANYWHERE you see a woman, and it doesn’t require you to memorize a list if openers, scenarios or anything else.

Teasing a woman, (like using David Deangelo’s Cocky Comedy) works because it short-circuits her usual reserve about talking to or meeting guys she does not know.  Most women have this “wall” and don’t even know it – it seems to be pre-programmed from birth. Then, when a guy approaches her, for any reason, she assumes you’re picking up on her. It’s what she’s gotten used to.

You have 3 seconds from seeing a girl to when you meet her and say something to spike her interest. If you wait – she has time to turn away, move herself, do anything she can to escape from the uncomfortable situation of being hit on again.

In that 3 seconds, you do this:

Look her over, and spot something about her appearance that you can comment on. Start with her shoes, and work your way up. DO NOT choose a physical body trait (like big earlobes, bubble-butt, giant breasts) to comment on. Especially not her overall attractiveness.

You find ONE thing that you can key off of and say something about that will give you and inroad. This is your ANCHOR. Once you’ve found it, you comment on it to her and smile at her, making strong eye contact.

Example: She’s got bright red shoes on. “Wow, those are … interesting shoes. My sister might like a pair like that. Where’d you get them…?”

Example: She’s got a black denim dress on. “My sister likes dresses like that. Where’d you get it…?”

(If you don’t have a sister, use ‘Aunt’ or ‘Cousin.’ You shouldn’t have to lie.)

She’ll say something like, “Oh, I got it at Macy’s” or something like that. You then nod your head and look at it for a second, as if you can’t make up your mind about it. At no time do you ever throw out the usual nauseating male flattery approaches, like “Oh, that dress goes so PERFECTLY with your cheekbones.” (There is a time and a place for flattery, and it’s NOT in an improvised meeting like this.)

Flattery is the scream for approval of the desperate guy. It’s like cotton candy – sweet for a split second, but disappears almost immediately. You want to dangle the PROMISE in front of her first.

You *almost* convey a look of inconvenience, that you went out of your way to comment on her alligator-skin shoes, or her denim skirt. The less she thinks you approached her out of sexual interest, the lower her guard is.

Don’t be insulting! Just be mysterious and ambiguous.

(Her next mental question is: “Gee, I wonder if he likes my dress? He didn’t say.” )

From here, you will bridge into the Tease portion of the conversation, and we’ll cover that in the next post. All there really is left to do is to keep her engaged in the conversation for just a minute or two, show some confidence, and walk away with her phone number.

Now, the typical question I get is “What if there’s nothing out of the ordinary about her?”

Simple: You make something up. There is ALWAYS something you can find when you look, and if it’s not readily apparent, you make it up. If she’s got clothes on you can find something to pick out. I recommend looking for jewelry, because every woman takes a lot of thought in selecting her jewelry.

For especially attractive women, you need to come on a bit differently, and it pays to use a combination of the negative-hit with this. I even recommend that when you get used to this technique, you use it exclusively on the hotties. When you’re comfortable with it, it makes more impact.

You say just one thing, and it’s so easy you’ll have a tough time forgetting it:

“Your dress/shoes/blouse/jacket/purse (whatever) caught my eye. I like the style, but I think you should try it in black, instead. You’d look better with it in black instead of gray.” (Choose the color accordingly.) You nod your head, again meeting her eyes full-on.

Her head will suddenly spin … “But… but… all the other guys said I looked like a fashion model with this on… What do you mean?”

By using these approaches, you’ve just flipped her trust switch in her head. You see, she starts out needing to find a reason to be interested and trust YOU – or she quickly categorizes you as a friend (FRIEND = non-lover, a woman you won’t be able to sleep with). If you just start talking to her neutrally, she’s wondering, “Is he safe?” For all she knows, you’re a nut-case looking to pull her into a multi-level marketing scheme. NOW, all of a sudden, she is suddenly told (by your words and actions) that you might not be so interested. You’re different – i.e., INTERESTING to her.

For the first week or so, if you’re feeling a bit nervous about approaching women, work your way into this slowly. Just use the intro line I gave you, and take it wherever you need. Hell, I’d even recommend you ONLY ask her the first part (“Where’d you get xxxx, my sister might like that …”), then say “thanks” and walk away. Get used to just chatting up anyone and everyone you meet. Take the pressure off for the first week or two, until you get used to the fact that WOMEN AREN’T GOING TO REJECT YOU LIKE YOU THINK THEY WILL.

You don’t need anything fancy or clever. You don’t need anything special to comment on. You just take WHATEVER she is wearing or holding and comment on it AS IF IT WERE different or interesting. Then, by virtue of following it up with a quick tease, you get her mind off her initial defense (IS HE SAFE?) and on to validating herself a little to you. This is the primary psychological underpinning of the whole “TEASE TO PLEASE” method. And I just gave it to you in a simple, workable format.

What most guys will do is to spend all their energy trying to climb over her initial trust hurdle, when they really need to focus on getting her to flip that switch in her head by making HER the one to present herself to you. (This will be more apparent when I explain the Tease portion in our next installment.)

Most guys will take any approach and shoot it down and find everything they can about what’s WRONG with it before they will go out and use it and make it work. My advice to you is to prove it won’t before you even think about coming back to me with a rebuttal. I know that I’ll get scads of letters asking me what to do in X situation or Y situation, because they’re ‘different’ somehow, but it makes NO difference. You only have to spot one anchor on her to comment about. I use it all the time, and it is very effective.

Just remember to keep things light and humorous, and never to insult.

ANYTHING can work, if you just use it in the right way. I just gave you the first half of a technique that works ANYWHERE, ANYTIME. On ANY woman. The best part about it is that it is simple, universal, and effective. All you have to do is to find your target, find an anchor, and start your Tease … (but only to please…)

In the next post, I will cover more tips for approaching women by Carlos Xuma.  I will cover many other focused approaches that you can use as well, from meeting her online, or at a dance class, or at a bookstore, or even Wal-Mart. You’ll also get the complete breakdown of the psychology to the close for the phone number. I’ll tell you where and when to use flattery, and how to mine the rich ore of women you see every day. There’s nothing you won’t know about meeting ANY woman ANYtime, ANYwhere. (I’ll even tell you what the single underlying reason is for a woman’s defense for all men that approach her, and how to bypass it.)

Now, get out there and start getting in the game. You play it from the comfort of the stands.

Stay tuned! It’s going to get good…
I’ll have the last half of this method to you soon.

Grow a Pair – Women Like It!

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Some men are nice guys.  And then, some men are “nice guys” – you know the ones – the ones that have a ton of female friends but have never had a girlfriend in their whole life?  These men, these doomed, lost brothers who are stuck in the dreaded “friend zone” NEED to read this article.  I’m going to tell you what these “Nice Guys” are doing wrong.  And maybe, just maybe, you could be making some of those same mistakes.

 

There are several key concepts that are LAW when it comes to attracting women.   These are in no particular order, but they are each very important to understand if you want to know what makes attraction work – and use that to your OWN advantage.

 

Getting right to it – the first of these immutable laws is that Attraction is NOT a choice.  I know you have probably heard dating advice experts like David Deangelo or Lance Mason say that before – but the thing is – it’s true.  Attraction isn’t a choice.  You don’t look at someone and think, “Hey!  I want to be attracted to HER!”

 

The second law of attraction – the attractive people have the pick of the pack.  In particular – the hot women.  They can almost any man they want, right?  They know it.  Men tell them!  All the time!  Beautiful women are approached CONSTANTLY.  Every day – several times a day.  So try to see this from HER point of view – if she gave her attention to every Chuck Schmuck that wanted it, she could not get through a day.  So if you want her attention, you better earn it.

 

The third rule in attraction is that attraction does not always make sense.  Think about it.  Every woman wants a great guy to treat her wonderfully, bring her flowers and open doors for her.  But she gets him, and she loses interest in about two weeks.  Why?  She is not ATTRACTED to him.  Logically, she should be.  At the gut level – she is not.

 

Law four – STATUS is very important when it comes to ATTRACTION. Beautiful girls are rarely attracted to men perceived to be of a lower status than they are.  Being the Alpha Male is a must if you are looking to attract women.

 

The thing is – women are on the lookout for the man that sparks that attraction in her.  She may not even know what that “thing” is, but …I do.  That thing that women want is the man to be a real MAN.  Not a wuss, not a wimp, not a “nice guy”.  That may seem counterintuitive – but let me ask you this – how’s your current game plan working out for you so far?

 

What can you do to stop this attraction killing behavior?  There are a few simple steps you can take to get your cajones back and get the girl.  One – stop being NICE to attractive women.  No compliments, no pleasing her, no gifts, no crap just to make her like you.  As a matter of fact – bust on her a bit.  Tell her she is a brat.  Tell her she is being bad and you won’t talk to her until she can be nice. 

 

Two – tell an attractive women no at least once every single day.  Doesn’t have to be big – but when some hot woman asks you to hand her the newspaper at the coffee shop – tell her no.  Of course, you can wait a few minutes while she grabs her jaw off the floor and then give her what she was asking for, but just bust her bubble if you can.

 

Three – respect YOURSELF and grow a pair, you know what I mean?  Remember that you are YOU, and do not put aside your personality, your beliefs or your wants and needs for any woman.  Or anyone, for that matter.  Respect yourself and you will get respect.