The holidays are upon us and its time to address the question I get so often from guys – what to give women for gifts.  You don’t want to blow your Christmas by giving her something that says you are an ass!  So read on for some solid dating advice for men on what gifts to give a woman that Carlos Xuma talks about in his blog…

1) What kinds of gifts should be given when a relationship is just starting out if you hope it could be a REAL relationship?

Normally, I recommend that a guy not get a woman a gift for the first few dates.  It says you are needy and that you are trying to buy her affection.  What you should do instead is spend your money on showing her that you are fun and able to have a good time.  I don’t mean go to the movies.  I mean go to a skating rink and have some fun, go bowling, go to the arcade, go to a Christmas parade or something unique where you can both share the experience.  So presents in the early stage of a relationship should be geared toward enriching the experience of your time together, not to influence a girl. Don’t buy flowers and candy until you’ve gotten grounds for some genuine rapport and interest from her, then your gifts will be prized.

After a few dates or so, the man can then start with some inexpensive and NON-EXTRAVAGANT gifts like a card to flowers.  But the idea here is to keep it LOW KEY. It’s a much better practice to under-gift at this time so that you can demonstrate thoughtful caution rather than hasty indiscretion.

Remember: It’s not the money you spend, but the message you send.

2) What types of gifts you should give to demonstrate its just a short-term, hot affair or fling that will go no further?

For a sexy fling, give sexy presents! Some great ideas are coupons for sexual acts or fantasies, lingerie, tasteful, fun toys that you can both enjoy, etc.  Keep it inexpensive but nice.  No jewelry!

3) What if you thought at first she was a casual date, but now want to express that you are a lot more into her? 

This is a great chance for a guy to shine.  Christmas is a great time to show this, or even Valentine’s day, an anniversary, her birthday, whatever.  For this kind of expression when you are dating, take Carlos Xuma’s advice and give the girl something that will make her think of you.  This can be something like a special present from a place you two visited together (glasses, picture frames with a picture of the two of you in it) home décor, etc.

Another great thing that girls love is to get a CD or an MP3 player full of music (specifically, songs that express how you feel).  This makes a woman melt and really will spice up the attraction.

So when you are looking for that perfect gift, keep in mind the message you want to send.  Stay tuned tomorrow for more on gift giving and when NOT to give  a gift to a woman.